Christmas wish list

I'm having the kids create their Christmas wish lists today. I figure that we can look at the lists and see what is the easiest and most economical thing to get them. The oldest has put "a television with my own satellite receiver" on her list, along with "a computer", "new cell phone", "DS", "MP3 player--the I-touch" and some other things. She put them on the list, knowing full well I'm not going to be providing all of these things. It's totally interesting to see what happens.
The young man has put things like "a Bionicle", a "DS", "games for the PS3, Wii and PS2" on his list. It is interesting to see the difference between the two.

MY Christmas wish list is as follows:

1. To learn my terminology for my karate class by my birthday (6 months, 1 week)
2. To learn Nahainchi Ee Dan and be able to execute it properly by March.
3. To learn my one-steps and Ho Sin Sul properly.
4. To learn to run and like it...or at least, just to run.
5. To learn NOT to focus on how heavy I am (yes, I'm heavy, but I'm working on it!).
6. To NOT stress out over work.

Of course, I have quite a few wants/wishes that cost money, like a house, etc, but I know that I have more control over the wish list I've posted. I can't afford to buy a house at present, especially since most of the houses I like in the neighborhoods I like are upwards of a quarter of a million dollars!! Unless Santa's going to be leaving me a cool 250-300k in my stocking, that's out of the question.

What's on YOUR wish list??

Moodiness

Warning...I'm in a MOOD. If you don't want to hear me whine, stop reading now...

I'm feeling...well, to quote a friend, "Meh". I'm not sure what's going on but I feel a bit put off. I wonder about my family. Are we active enough? Do we have enough going on in our lives? Am I providing for them well enough?
We don't travel. We don't do FUN things. What AM I doing these days?
I go to work, get good and stressed out and then come home, to sit on the couch and either watch television or just attempt to talk to Tony about the day. Meanwhile, I'm not getting in any kind of work outs. I don't communicate with my martial arts teacher. I don't get emails about what's going on with the school. I feel the strain in my shoulders and that hurts!!

I feel...suspended. Disconnected. Missing something.


I read blogs about how people I know are doing all these fun things and I wonder, why does my family not do fun things like that? We don't go out anywhere. We stay at home. We don't go to local parks. I can't say I have "perfect kids". I have kids who are just average. I am too lenient for my own good. I let my oldest have a cell phone. I let both kids watch television and play video games. I don't discipline enough. (something I've been told repeatedly!!) I don't over schedule my kids' lives. I let them "dictate" to me what they want to do.


I am wishy-washy?

I have spent a lot of time lately, wondering about things. I wonder if I've irritated people when I write emails and don't get responses. Then I wonder (with all my insecurities showing!) if I've done something stupid and/or bothered people. I wonder what I need to do to improve my relationships with people.
I wonder if I'm just being unnecessarily whiny for no reason?

I want. I want a lot of things. I want to be approachable. I want to have the super active family. I want to travel. I want to share my adventures with the world. I want to write convincingly. I want to have all the time in the world to read. I want to explore places I haven't seen before. I want to see places I haven't been to. I want to go to the Grand Canyon. I want to go to Canada, to Germany, to Italy and Ireland. I want to be my ideal weight.
I want. I want a lot of things.


Where to begin???