I'm readjusting my thinking again. I've started keeping a journal of what I'm eating (again!) so that I can find my triggers. I know one of the things I have problems with is eating more than a "normal" portion, so I'm back to weighing and measuring my food. If I do this, I will be more in control of me. I will lose the extra weight I've gained. I fully intend to be DOWN in 4 months from the 17 pounds I've gained over the past 7 months! I am not going to my next doctor's appointment weighing what I did two weeks ago. I knew I was having issues, but I didn't realize how I've sabotaged myself. This is all changing.
I told Master G thanks for allowing me to come into his group and said that I hope I'm a good fit as I feel that I have a good place. He said I was fitting in fine and then told me that I'm a bit overly critical of myself. He said that I need to relax and have fun, but not to beat myself up over silly things. I need to take this to heart. He's really putting something into words that I need to hear and need to remember. I am only human. To make mistakes is normal. I am not perfect and am prone to my faults. I can pick myself up, dust off and keep going. I am ultimately in charge of my own destiny. How far I climb or fall off the ladder is entirely up to me.
Yesterday at work, I got two of the guys, M and R, to help me while I reviewed the Ho Sin Sul we worked on Thursday. I have to remember to twist my wrist, but other than that, I think I have the wrist grabs down. Mr. L gave me a bit of a pointer on one of the belt grabs...he warned me to be careful about how I grab the belt because there is a potential for hurting the pinkie finger. I'm going to keep that in mind too.
In the spirit of challenges, I am going to be challenging myself to do "guy" pushups. I have done two "guy" pushups in full plank mode. I will have to seriously work on not "sinking" into them, but keeping myself straight. My goal is to do ten of them by the end of this year. I'm giving myself a week to do the two I started with. By the end of the week, I want to add two to that.
That's a start.
Saturday, November 01, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Learning the basics again
I had an awesome class tonight. I worked with Ms. M on the kicking drills, Ho Sin Sul (self defense) and sparring. Our primary drill was back kicks. I'm not the strongest when it comes to back kick. I had to really concentrate to get my kicks to land where I wanted them to land. Again, I have sloppy kicks, so I have a LOT to work on.
I talked to Ms. M tonight and asked her if she'd help me out after she's fully recovered from her belt test on Saturday. I want to get into great shape and I need a buddy. I am too darned lazy to do it on my own. We talked about possibly getting together and going walking. This would be a good thing. I won't get my butt off the couch without having a companion. For whatever reason, I don't know that I want to walk with my hubby, mainly because I think he'll walk too slowly and if I'm trying to get in some cardio, I can do it better if I'm walking with someone else who is motivated to walk fast.
We were talking after class tonight about Bunkai. We talked about Bassai and the fact that the opening of Bassai is essentially an attack. You have to look at it as if you're sneaking up to a fortress that is guarded by a sentry (or multiple sentries). With the salutation/Choon Be of Bassai, you're literally grabbing the sentry, stabbing him and kicking him to the ground at the same time. Then you'll turn and use his body as a shield or a weapon as you turn to get someone who might be sneaking up behind you.
I'm seeing the forms I've learned in a totally different light. I think that learning the Bunkai of a form makes the form take on a new meaning. I can see the practical application. I was talking to a friend earlier tonight and she said that if you learn the theory behind what you're learning, it'll stick with you better. She's right because I can actually SEE the form and can feel how it should work.
I talked to Ms. M tonight and asked her if she'd help me out after she's fully recovered from her belt test on Saturday. I want to get into great shape and I need a buddy. I am too darned lazy to do it on my own. We talked about possibly getting together and going walking. This would be a good thing. I won't get my butt off the couch without having a companion. For whatever reason, I don't know that I want to walk with my hubby, mainly because I think he'll walk too slowly and if I'm trying to get in some cardio, I can do it better if I'm walking with someone else who is motivated to walk fast.
We were talking after class tonight about Bunkai. We talked about Bassai and the fact that the opening of Bassai is essentially an attack. You have to look at it as if you're sneaking up to a fortress that is guarded by a sentry (or multiple sentries). With the salutation/Choon Be of Bassai, you're literally grabbing the sentry, stabbing him and kicking him to the ground at the same time. Then you'll turn and use his body as a shield or a weapon as you turn to get someone who might be sneaking up behind you.
I'm seeing the forms I've learned in a totally different light. I think that learning the Bunkai of a form makes the form take on a new meaning. I can see the practical application. I was talking to a friend earlier tonight and she said that if you learn the theory behind what you're learning, it'll stick with you better. She's right because I can actually SEE the form and can feel how it should work.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Another long day
Today was another long day. I am filling in for my manager while he's on vacation. There are times when filling in for him makes me feel so much stress it's not funny. Today is another day like that. My back is sore and hurts like heck. Some of that was from work and some of that is from sitting for an hour on a very hard bench. That was at our Pack Meeting. We had a pretty good one tonight. Our Pack is putting on a Veteran's Day Parade at school. Our guys made gifts for the veterans who are going to walk in our Parade this year. I think it's a great idea. The lady behind this parade is a really nice lady who has a big heart.
The meeting was over at 8:10...Pack Leadership is supposed to clean up and get everyone out of the cafeteria (we have our meetings at the school) and get ourselves out of the building. I was *going* to attend class tonight, but...it wasn't possible as I would have spent 10 minutes driving to class and getting to spend about 10 minutes in class. I am a bit bummed by that but I'll make up for it on Thursday. I have immense amounts of work to do to get ready for class on Thursday. I know I'm weak and need to get into shape.
I still have to cement a workout plan and stick to it. I'm not walking as much as I'd like to. I haven't really walked since last week. I walked around on Saturday but not since. I am going to have to get *someone* to nag me to get my butt up and walking!! I AM getting away from my desk at work...that's a good thing for me. I now need to push it one step further and both drink more water and also work out more. Even if I don't get to test for my Ee Dan next year (and I'm thinking that unless I'm seriously improved over the next few months), I won't be testing.
One of the things I *have* to do is to lose weight. I saw my doctor last week and he asked me "Are you still doing your martial arts?" when he looked at my chart. I've gained 17 pounds back since March!! MARCH!! That's 7 months!!
I don't have any excuses. I have to knuckle down and exercise. I like being lazy. I also like the feeling of power I have when I see myself in smaller clothes. I am frustrated by having to buy large sizes when this time last year I was fitting into smaller sizes. Why am I letting myself get out of control? I'm not controlling myself the way I should. I need to exercise. I need to take charge of who I am. I accept myself, but I don't. Then I find myself full of self loathing and talk negatively about how I'm in such bad shape. I am NOT going ot let it be a self fulfilling prophecy. I don't want Mr. M's pride in me because I"m a "success story" (fat person earns black belt) to stick. I want to be proud of me because I'm good. I want to get my strength and stamina up so that when my time comes, I'll be able to go out and earn my Ee Dan and be good.
The meeting was over at 8:10...Pack Leadership is supposed to clean up and get everyone out of the cafeteria (we have our meetings at the school) and get ourselves out of the building. I was *going* to attend class tonight, but...it wasn't possible as I would have spent 10 minutes driving to class and getting to spend about 10 minutes in class. I am a bit bummed by that but I'll make up for it on Thursday. I have immense amounts of work to do to get ready for class on Thursday. I know I'm weak and need to get into shape.
I still have to cement a workout plan and stick to it. I'm not walking as much as I'd like to. I haven't really walked since last week. I walked around on Saturday but not since. I am going to have to get *someone* to nag me to get my butt up and walking!! I AM getting away from my desk at work...that's a good thing for me. I now need to push it one step further and both drink more water and also work out more. Even if I don't get to test for my Ee Dan next year (and I'm thinking that unless I'm seriously improved over the next few months), I won't be testing.
One of the things I *have* to do is to lose weight. I saw my doctor last week and he asked me "Are you still doing your martial arts?" when he looked at my chart. I've gained 17 pounds back since March!! MARCH!! That's 7 months!!
I don't have any excuses. I have to knuckle down and exercise. I like being lazy. I also like the feeling of power I have when I see myself in smaller clothes. I am frustrated by having to buy large sizes when this time last year I was fitting into smaller sizes. Why am I letting myself get out of control? I'm not controlling myself the way I should. I need to exercise. I need to take charge of who I am. I accept myself, but I don't. Then I find myself full of self loathing and talk negatively about how I'm in such bad shape. I am NOT going ot let it be a self fulfilling prophecy. I don't want Mr. M's pride in me because I"m a "success story" (fat person earns black belt) to stick. I want to be proud of me because I'm good. I want to get my strength and stamina up so that when my time comes, I'll be able to go out and earn my Ee Dan and be good.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
My daughter...
My daughter had try-outs for All City Band on Thursday. She found out Friday that she made 7th chair. She plays flute and 7th chair is nothing to sneeze at. She made ALL CITY!!!!!
I was on my way out to Camp Wisdom and called home to check with her. She gave me the news as I was sitting in a parking lot in Cedar Hill (Not near where I was supposed to be!!), trying to figure out where I was going!
Yay Mandy!!!
Pictures
Here are a couple of pictures from Camp Wisdom...
Our first view of the Fort, on our arrival at Camp Wisdom. We were at check-in.
The Blacksmith
The Castle, stop #1 on the Haunted Hike.
The "Executioner" at the Castle.
Aidan and I at the "Pumpkin Chunkin". We're trying to launch our pumpkin, which wanted to hit the ground. We had a "roller".
Our first view of the Fort, on our arrival at Camp Wisdom. We were at check-in.
The Blacksmith
The Castle, stop #1 on the Haunted Hike.
The "Executioner" at the Castle.
Aidan and I at the "Pumpkin Chunkin". We're trying to launch our pumpkin, which wanted to hit the ground. We had a "roller".
Camping
We went to Camp Wisdom this weekend. It was really fun. Aidan and I had a blast. I think I enjoyed myself more than he did, but we both enjoyed ourselves.
Our favorite things were the Haunted Hike and the Pumpkin Chunkin'.
We went from breakfast to camp, then off to The Foundry (a blacksmith demonstration), then off to the Haunted Hike. We went to the Castle, then off to the Cave (no pictures were taken of the cave, sorry!), then on to the Pirate ships. The kids LOVED the Pirate ships. It was a bit like an organized water balloon fight. Lots of fun! There were a couple of casualties...two of our kids got hit by the balloon. The ships were manned by Boy Scouts who were volunteering at this camp. They inadvertantly hit a couple of the Cubs with the 'balls'. Neither boy was seriously injured...I think it stung quite a bit. I don't think they'd get back into the middle of a water battle again any time soon!
After the Pirate ships, we went back to the Mess Hall for lunch, then off to Pumpkin Decorating. That didn't last very long--about 45 minutes, tops. The boys were anxious to get out to the Pumpkin Chunkin', so we ran over there and had a blast shooting off our pumpkins. All the boys liked that!
Archery, BB shooting, then an hour before dinner. Then we went back, the kids changed and off to the Trick or Treat to the Campfire. A bit tiring, as we parents had to carry our folding chairs to the campfire as well. The kids got to trick or treat, we carried the packs. LOL! At the campfire, they did skits, sang songs and talked to us. I was in the back of the crowd, so I couldn't hear much. I did hear the skit of "Falling Rock". It'll lose MUCH in translation, so I can't tell you about that. You had to be there to see and hear it.
Part of the fun of last night was that they did the trick or treat after dark, so we had glow sticks to use for light sources. That was pretty neat. I was glad of having a place to sit and glad that I didn't have to use my own chair, even though I hauled it to the campfire.
When we got to our campsite, someone there had started yet another fire (we had one Friday night too), so we joined that crowd for a few minutes. Someone gave Aidan another marshmallow, so he 'roasted' it and gave it to me. I got to have a warm marshmallow as a midnight snack. YAY!
This morning we packed up and were ready to go by 8:00. Breakfast was at 7:30 at the mess hall. Aidan and I got there late, just as they were shutting it down. We managed to eat, but barely. After that was the "Scout's Own" service, which was pretty neat. When that was over, we climbed into our car and drove off.
We spent most of the day yesterday, on our feet. There was a LOT of walking involved. Everything we did involved walking from point A to point B. By the end of the day, it felt like my feet were going to fall off. I took my "walking shoes", which are in dire need of replacement. I am tonight regretting that decision. I have blisters on both of my feet, which was unusual. I am not complaining, mind you. I did it because it got me a chance to go camping, something I haven't done in nearly 20 years. I want to do it again, but further away from the city, more out in the countryside.
Our favorite things were the Haunted Hike and the Pumpkin Chunkin'.
We went from breakfast to camp, then off to The Foundry (a blacksmith demonstration), then off to the Haunted Hike. We went to the Castle, then off to the Cave (no pictures were taken of the cave, sorry!), then on to the Pirate ships. The kids LOVED the Pirate ships. It was a bit like an organized water balloon fight. Lots of fun! There were a couple of casualties...two of our kids got hit by the balloon. The ships were manned by Boy Scouts who were volunteering at this camp. They inadvertantly hit a couple of the Cubs with the 'balls'. Neither boy was seriously injured...I think it stung quite a bit. I don't think they'd get back into the middle of a water battle again any time soon!
After the Pirate ships, we went back to the Mess Hall for lunch, then off to Pumpkin Decorating. That didn't last very long--about 45 minutes, tops. The boys were anxious to get out to the Pumpkin Chunkin', so we ran over there and had a blast shooting off our pumpkins. All the boys liked that!
Archery, BB shooting, then an hour before dinner. Then we went back, the kids changed and off to the Trick or Treat to the Campfire. A bit tiring, as we parents had to carry our folding chairs to the campfire as well. The kids got to trick or treat, we carried the packs. LOL! At the campfire, they did skits, sang songs and talked to us. I was in the back of the crowd, so I couldn't hear much. I did hear the skit of "Falling Rock". It'll lose MUCH in translation, so I can't tell you about that. You had to be there to see and hear it.
Part of the fun of last night was that they did the trick or treat after dark, so we had glow sticks to use for light sources. That was pretty neat. I was glad of having a place to sit and glad that I didn't have to use my own chair, even though I hauled it to the campfire.
When we got to our campsite, someone there had started yet another fire (we had one Friday night too), so we joined that crowd for a few minutes. Someone gave Aidan another marshmallow, so he 'roasted' it and gave it to me. I got to have a warm marshmallow as a midnight snack. YAY!
This morning we packed up and were ready to go by 8:00. Breakfast was at 7:30 at the mess hall. Aidan and I got there late, just as they were shutting it down. We managed to eat, but barely. After that was the "Scout's Own" service, which was pretty neat. When that was over, we climbed into our car and drove off.
We spent most of the day yesterday, on our feet. There was a LOT of walking involved. Everything we did involved walking from point A to point B. By the end of the day, it felt like my feet were going to fall off. I took my "walking shoes", which are in dire need of replacement. I am tonight regretting that decision. I have blisters on both of my feet, which was unusual. I am not complaining, mind you. I did it because it got me a chance to go camping, something I haven't done in nearly 20 years. I want to do it again, but further away from the city, more out in the countryside.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)