Just a quick fly-by. I'm taking an online English class. Composition and Rhetoric. I hope I do as well as I want to. I have to get my butt in gear and study more. There's a lot of reading with this class. I have to work on my second essay, which is due on the 13th. I have to write a memoir. I submitted my first "pre-writing" assignment, but I'm not sure I followed instructions to the letter. My professor is pretty fair about her expectations of us. I really want to do well. I just need to work harder at it.
On the exercise front, I'm taking Belly Dance classes with Alba twice a week. I've been dancing consistently since the first of the year. I think I've missed a total of two classes so far. One was for my son's first concert and one was for working on my pre-writing assignment. I nearly didn't make it to class tonight because of I popped a rib out sometime this week (Monday night to Tuesday). I was in major pain until late this morning/early this afternoon. I took some ibuprofen that finally kicked in. I danced but boy, I tell you, some of the rolls were a little challenging.
My daughter went to class with me tonight. She did pretty well. I was proud of her for going, despite the fact that she was frustrated. I'm glad she went. I hope she decides to go with me again!!
Thursday, February 02, 2012
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Decision making...
I've been thinking...a lot. I've been thinking about trying to get back into training, only this time on my own. I know that I can push the envelope and get myself into a reasonable facsimile of a martial artist.
I don't have a true school to work with anymore. I've left one school due to a conflict with an instructor. I left another school due to my own insecurity. For the past two years, I've not concentrated on anything. I've just existed. I have taken Tai Chi, which I loved, but stopped those lessons in February after having to be out for a week with surgery.
So, I'm mulling over the WHEN of when I'm going to start training. I need to keep up training with Alba. I need to push myself into not being lazy about documenting my food in my journal too. I spend entirely too much time saying "I'll get around to it" and then that "round to it" never comes. I have to get into the frame of mind of DO IT NOW. Period. End of story.
Alba knows about BOB. We've talked about using him. I guess I need to get off my but and make myself do what I want to do. I can come home from work, leave the car in the driveway, move BOB out into the middle of the garage and work on kicks, punches, etc. It's a matter of WHEN.
I also need to give Sa Bu Nim an answer. He's patient and isn't pushing me but...I need to continue to THINK. I need to talk to hubby and see what his opinion is.
I'm torn between being lazy and wanting to push myself back into some semblence of shape. I need to decide how important martial arts is to me. I talk to martial artists on a regular basis. I have acquired a good friend who is willing to go out of his way to help me. I need to help myself first.
The mind is a powerful thing. I need to push mine into submission and meditate on what I really want.
Friday, October 21, 2011
"Lance Chance Workout"
At nearly the last minute yesterday, I texted Alba and asked her if she was busy. I felt a pressing need to get myself out and work out. I'd talked to my son in the morning and he somewhat expressed an interest in participating in the Rudolph Run on December 3. That's not that far away. I am somewhat interested in it myself, although I'm NOT going to run. I'm too big and don't feel like having all my body parts jiggling and dancing as I attempt to move quickly through downtown. Nope. Not me. I'll walk it though. Alba says I need to get my hind end moving at least three times a week if I plan on being prepared for it. I need to get acclimated to the weather, etc.
I sent a text message to Alba at 3:00 and asked her if she was available at 5:30. Fortunately for me, she was! She came over and we went over to the park. I can tell I'm not in shape because a simple quick walk (not really fast, just a good pace) had me huffing and puffing. Alba pointed out that I'm stomping a little too hard when walking, so we worked on improving my foot position. What was really neat was that she knew which foot was hitting wrong, even without looking!
She walked me through the park, had me do several squats, then we hit the stairs and did MORE leg-work and push ups against the rail. My arms are sore today, as is another body part, but it's to be expected. I feel pretty good, all things considered. She had me step out of my comfort zone and step up on the second step from the bottom landing of the steps. I was afraid of falling, but she kept encouraging and kept pushing. I finally got a song on my phone that had me going (Oingo Boingo's No One Lives Forever). I like the pace and the lyrics, so I worked my butt off to get up on that step. It was a lot easier on my left leg (pushing off with my right leg), which means I have to do MORE work on my right side.
When we came back, we planned on meeting tomorrow morning at 8:00 am. I WILL be up and we are gonna work! It's a shimmy day! I'm looking forward to it. I love dancing and this will be awesome!!
I sent a text message to Alba at 3:00 and asked her if she was available at 5:30. Fortunately for me, she was! She came over and we went over to the park. I can tell I'm not in shape because a simple quick walk (not really fast, just a good pace) had me huffing and puffing. Alba pointed out that I'm stomping a little too hard when walking, so we worked on improving my foot position. What was really neat was that she knew which foot was hitting wrong, even without looking!
She walked me through the park, had me do several squats, then we hit the stairs and did MORE leg-work and push ups against the rail. My arms are sore today, as is another body part, but it's to be expected. I feel pretty good, all things considered. She had me step out of my comfort zone and step up on the second step from the bottom landing of the steps. I was afraid of falling, but she kept encouraging and kept pushing. I finally got a song on my phone that had me going (Oingo Boingo's No One Lives Forever). I like the pace and the lyrics, so I worked my butt off to get up on that step. It was a lot easier on my left leg (pushing off with my right leg), which means I have to do MORE work on my right side.
When we came back, we planned on meeting tomorrow morning at 8:00 am. I WILL be up and we are gonna work! It's a shimmy day! I'm looking forward to it. I love dancing and this will be awesome!!
Sunday, October 02, 2011
Breaking silence
I'm not ordinarily silent for long periods of time, but a lot of things have happened in the past few months that have made me shut down for a bit. It started in August, with a funeral for my husband's grandmother. That was not completely unexpected, although quite sad. However, a month later, it got worse as we lost my brother-in-law to a horrible accident. He was riding his dirt bike, lost control and went over an embankment. He wasn't wearing a helmet. I'm not going to go into details, but it wasn't pretty. I wasn't able to attend that funeral, but my husband went. It's been an up and down two weeks. He thinks about his brother every day. I don't know what I can say as I've never been in this situation before.
We're trying to maintain a semblance of normalcy. We have a lot of good memories and that's a plus. Now it's just move forward one step at a time.
We're trying to maintain a semblance of normalcy. We have a lot of good memories and that's a plus. Now it's just move forward one step at a time.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Training with Alba
I am not an athlete. I am a person who despises exercise in any form or fashion. I finally got to the point where I felt like a loser. I saw myself spiraling further and further away from who I wanted to be. I had thought at one point that I wanted to push for another Black Belt, but I let my mind get in my way, so I failed at that ambition. I let myself fall into a trap of "I am not as good as X or Y." That's a vicious cycle, believe me. I found out the hard way. I got increasingly more and more discouraged by my perceived failure to live up to the expectations I had in my own head. I also didn't ask my instructors for assistance with the language or my material. I assumed that I knew what I needed to know. This was not the way to view that.
Now fast forward to May of 2010. I started taking Tai Chi lessons, and while I enjoyed it, again, I didn't practice and made excuse after excuse not to attend classes. This was a shame because I did enjoy it. I stopped attending those classes in February, after my surgery. I was inconsistent in everything I did--intermittently walking, etc. I talked a good talk, but that's all it was.
Then I got to talking to a former instructor, who happens to also be a friend. I knew that she belly danced, so I asked her if she'd be willing to give me a lesson. She was. She came out to my house and talked to me. She's also a personal fitness trainer, so I decided that if I was going to change my life, I may as well jump in with both feet. I respect Alba and know that if anyone is going to kick my a$$, it'll be her. I signed on for training. I have now taken at least two weeks' worth of classes and have found it the best thing I've ever done for myself. I will continue to work with her because it's the most fun I've ever had working out--Alba makes me work and makes me work hard! She allows me a little bit of slack, but very little. I feel each workout for days afterwards, which is good! It means something good is happening. I tell myself daily that I'm seeing benefits. I am sure I am. My slacks fit better, my tops aren't as snug and I've seen some other changes. I can see a little bit of definition in my sides.
I have to say that Alba is definitely someone who knows what she's doing and she's absolutely wonderful!! She gave me a bracelet that I wear daily as an inspiration. It is a visible reminder of what I'm doing.
Now fast forward to May of 2010. I started taking Tai Chi lessons, and while I enjoyed it, again, I didn't practice and made excuse after excuse not to attend classes. This was a shame because I did enjoy it. I stopped attending those classes in February, after my surgery. I was inconsistent in everything I did--intermittently walking, etc. I talked a good talk, but that's all it was.
Then I got to talking to a former instructor, who happens to also be a friend. I knew that she belly danced, so I asked her if she'd be willing to give me a lesson. She was. She came out to my house and talked to me. She's also a personal fitness trainer, so I decided that if I was going to change my life, I may as well jump in with both feet. I respect Alba and know that if anyone is going to kick my a$$, it'll be her. I signed on for training. I have now taken at least two weeks' worth of classes and have found it the best thing I've ever done for myself. I will continue to work with her because it's the most fun I've ever had working out--Alba makes me work and makes me work hard! She allows me a little bit of slack, but very little. I feel each workout for days afterwards, which is good! It means something good is happening. I tell myself daily that I'm seeing benefits. I am sure I am. My slacks fit better, my tops aren't as snug and I've seen some other changes. I can see a little bit of definition in my sides.
I have to say that Alba is definitely someone who knows what she's doing and she's absolutely wonderful!! She gave me a bracelet that I wear daily as an inspiration. It is a visible reminder of what I'm doing.
Friday, July 08, 2011
I am really happy!
I have been working out with a personal trainer for a couple of weeks now. I am feeling really good about it. She is extremely encouraging and supportive. My husband is being supportive and has said that he thinks it's working for me.
I feel much less stressed at work, despite being frustrated by things beyond my control (lack of forward momentum, etc). I look forward to each class now. I make it a point to start my shut down process at work at least 5 minutes early so that I can get out to the door and head for home. I want to have time to get home, get changed and be ready to workout.
Tonight was a belly dance session. We danced to some Spanish music. It's very uptempo and fun. She was showing me some moves that involved raising a hip and lowering it with a "pop". That was interesting. I have to get it cemented in my head for next class. Hip shimmies are fun too. I haven't danced in many years. I am completely loving the class! It's well worth it to me to keep taking class. I have more energy and feel awesome!!
I feel much less stressed at work, despite being frustrated by things beyond my control (lack of forward momentum, etc). I look forward to each class now. I make it a point to start my shut down process at work at least 5 minutes early so that I can get out to the door and head for home. I want to have time to get home, get changed and be ready to workout.
Tonight was a belly dance session. We danced to some Spanish music. It's very uptempo and fun. She was showing me some moves that involved raising a hip and lowering it with a "pop". That was interesting. I have to get it cemented in my head for next class. Hip shimmies are fun too. I haven't danced in many years. I am completely loving the class! It's well worth it to me to keep taking class. I have more energy and feel awesome!!
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Working out
I am back in training. Not martial arts training--YET. I've gotten in touch with a lady who used to teach at the dojang I earned my Cho Dan in. She's a certified trainer/dance instructor, so I've started training with her. I just had my third class and loved it. Class number one was last Thursday. I was so sore after that class, my biceps were screaming "We hate you! When do we go again?" The second go-round was on Saturday. We went to the park where she ran me through a good walk and some exercises using nothing more than the park benches and a rail overlooking one of the lakes. It was a good day.
I haven't seen her since Saturday. I called her today and left her a message asking if we could reschedule. She didn't get my message until she was already here, so I told her, "you're here, let's do it!"
I haven't worked out so hard in an hour in I don't know HOW long! I was literally dripping with sweat! It's a good feeling! I like feeling like this. I can't remember how long it's been since I felt this good about a workout! I'm working out individually because I'm a competitive person and compare myself to other people all the time. If I work out on my own, I lose steam. I have someone who is holding me accountable and that's the important thing! We set a schedule for working out that I think will help. I'll work out three times a week. I'm already looking forward to next week!
I haven't seen her since Saturday. I called her today and left her a message asking if we could reschedule. She didn't get my message until she was already here, so I told her, "you're here, let's do it!"
I haven't worked out so hard in an hour in I don't know HOW long! I was literally dripping with sweat! It's a good feeling! I like feeling like this. I can't remember how long it's been since I felt this good about a workout! I'm working out individually because I'm a competitive person and compare myself to other people all the time. If I work out on my own, I lose steam. I have someone who is holding me accountable and that's the important thing! We set a schedule for working out that I think will help. I'll work out three times a week. I'm already looking forward to next week!
Friday, June 10, 2011
Bad burger review
Yesterday, on the way home from my daughter's surgery (day surgery, she was more or less dozing in the car all the way home), we decided to get In-N-Out Burgers so that she could (finally!) eat something more substantial than a graham cracker and water. We pulled into the line and waited *15 minutes* for the drive through. *15 minutes!!* Not only that, but...it was, well, my mirror in the car registered 100 degrees. That would be Farenheit, but still...It was hot. I think it was a ridiculous thing to wait 15 minutes to get an order. There were cars packed in the lot and over 20 cars in the drive through. They had two guys out there (IN THE HEAT!), taking orders from people as they got in line and one guy who sent the info to the inside, where they made the order.
I couldn't believe how packed that place was. The burgers were, in my opinion, horrible. They were NOT all that! I spent close to $20.00 for three meals. That's goofy. They messed up my order too...I asked for 2 cheeseburger meals (nasty!) and a regular hamburger meal. Somehow, we wound up with three cheeseburgers. I don't think they put onions on two of them, which was fine. The sandwiches were soggy when we got home--we only had about another 10 minute drive to get home--and the fries were cold. I do mean cold. Not lukewarm, just cold.
I won't waste my money at an overpriced California burger joint again. I definitely appreciate home-grown food. I prefer not waiting for 15 minutes in the sun to get to a drive through window to get food that is soggy and cold when I get it home.
Maybe it's just a jaded opinion, but I wasn't excited by INOB. I won't be eating there again. It just didn't make my day.
I couldn't believe how packed that place was. The burgers were, in my opinion, horrible. They were NOT all that! I spent close to $20.00 for three meals. That's goofy. They messed up my order too...I asked for 2 cheeseburger meals (nasty!) and a regular hamburger meal. Somehow, we wound up with three cheeseburgers. I don't think they put onions on two of them, which was fine. The sandwiches were soggy when we got home--we only had about another 10 minute drive to get home--and the fries were cold. I do mean cold. Not lukewarm, just cold.
I won't waste my money at an overpriced California burger joint again. I definitely appreciate home-grown food. I prefer not waiting for 15 minutes in the sun to get to a drive through window to get food that is soggy and cold when I get it home.
Maybe it's just a jaded opinion, but I wasn't excited by INOB. I won't be eating there again. It just didn't make my day.
Sunday, June 05, 2011
Approaching the century mark
This is now a thing of the past. Today, for the first time, the mirror displayed 100 degrees. Summer is definitely here. The weatherman on the news just said that it was 102 in Pensacola, Florida, so it's hotter in other parts of the world. It's just too darned early. Guess I'll have to live with running the air conditioner for the next however many months.
Summer is here
Summer has officially started for my children. They celebrated by having sleepovers on Friday night. It was different with two boys and two girls in the house. The girls are teenagers--they'll be 16 within days of each other. The boys are both 11 and that was amusing. My husband and I spent the evening Friday night listening to the girls giggle, listening to the boys talking and laughing at something. It was really different. I'm glad that they had fun.
My son wound up not sleeping very well. He was up very early yesterday. He crashed hard on Saturday. He fell asleep around 4:00 pm and got up at 7:00 this morning. He has been happily helping out in the kitchen this morning and not complaining about any of it.
This summer is going to be a little different from past summers. The kids are both going to be attending a flute camp this year. It'll be fun because my son is starting into Band in the 6th grade. He tested out for flute, so will play it. I need to get over to the music store and find out if we can get the flute I have on order for him BEFORE school starts. It'll be fun. They're both going to ride their bikes to the school the camp is being held at. That'll be a summer experience in and of itself. My daughter is also going on vacation with a friend's family this year. She'll be going to Virgina and I think, Pennsylvania. My son and I are going camping with Boy Scouts in Oklahoma.
Our summer is filled toward the latter part. The first part of the summer will be spent just enjoying time off. The kids are resting and relaxing. I just wish I could.
My son wound up not sleeping very well. He was up very early yesterday. He crashed hard on Saturday. He fell asleep around 4:00 pm and got up at 7:00 this morning. He has been happily helping out in the kitchen this morning and not complaining about any of it.
This summer is going to be a little different from past summers. The kids are both going to be attending a flute camp this year. It'll be fun because my son is starting into Band in the 6th grade. He tested out for flute, so will play it. I need to get over to the music store and find out if we can get the flute I have on order for him BEFORE school starts. It'll be fun. They're both going to ride their bikes to the school the camp is being held at. That'll be a summer experience in and of itself. My daughter is also going on vacation with a friend's family this year. She'll be going to Virgina and I think, Pennsylvania. My son and I are going camping with Boy Scouts in Oklahoma.
Our summer is filled toward the latter part. The first part of the summer will be spent just enjoying time off. The kids are resting and relaxing. I just wish I could.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Excitement!!
I'm excited! I'm going on a road trip this weekend. It's kind of a spur of the moment thing. I'm going to Houston, to visit a friend, who just happens to be a martial artist. This is exciting news for me because he has invited me to bring my dobahk with me so that I can work out with him after his Gup testing is over.
My friend has his own school and I am privileged to be able to go down and observe his testing. It really makes my day!
The ONLY downside to this is that I have to get up at 3:30 in the morning to drive. Yuck. Oh well. I can't have everything. I tried to find a flight down there but I'd have to miss the band banquet tomorrow which isn't happening. I want to go to that. I'll leave early from that.
It'll be a fun, if brief, trip.
My friend has his own school and I am privileged to be able to go down and observe his testing. It really makes my day!
The ONLY downside to this is that I have to get up at 3:30 in the morning to drive. Yuck. Oh well. I can't have everything. I tried to find a flight down there but I'd have to miss the band banquet tomorrow which isn't happening. I want to go to that. I'll leave early from that.
It'll be a fun, if brief, trip.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Let the burger wars begin
This week, a California native moved into Texas. In-N-Out Burger from California opened two new restaurants in North Texas. One's in my hometown of Allen, the other is in Frisco. I heard from everyone about the lines. It was all over the news for several days. People camped out at the restaurants to be there on opening day. People sat in line for hours (HOURS!!) to get into the drive through. Seriously??!!
How people can sit in line for hours is beyond me. My daughter and some friends from school went there on Thursday. My daughter told me the fries were "heavenly". Our text 'conversation' was this:
A=J*sus.
M=Language.
A=Sorry! These fries are godly!
M=I hate you. ((note to readers--I just got braces on Monday, so am not eating "real" food, hence the mean words to my daughter.))
A=Don't worry. I saved you some. XD
Until I-N-O showed up, the 'big' burger chain in town was Whataburger. That's a Texas burger joint that I've come to enjoy. I prefer it over McD's. As far as I'm concerned, NOBODY does a burger like Whataburger. Well, wait. Mooyah's (another local burger joint) is pretty good AND they support the Band! I'm all for places that support the Band. Yes, shameless plug there.
I lived in California for several years and never once made it to In-N-Out. I never paid attention to it. It was just another restaurant, like Carl's Jr. Well now it's in my face because it's in my city. Eventually I *might* try it, but for now, I'll stay with Whataburger.
I wonder how long it'll take for the burger hype to die down? I won't be going to I-N-O because if I'm hungry, I want to EAT! I don't want to wait 2-3 hours to get up to a drive through and I certainly don't want to wait in line for a 'fast food' fix. I'd go to a major restaurant. Before I did that, I'd make reservations!!
How people can sit in line for hours is beyond me. My daughter and some friends from school went there on Thursday. My daughter told me the fries were "heavenly". Our text 'conversation' was this:
A=J*sus.
M=Language.
A=Sorry! These fries are godly!
M=I hate you. ((note to readers--I just got braces on Monday, so am not eating "real" food, hence the mean words to my daughter.))
A=Don't worry. I saved you some. XD
Until I-N-O showed up, the 'big' burger chain in town was Whataburger. That's a Texas burger joint that I've come to enjoy. I prefer it over McD's. As far as I'm concerned, NOBODY does a burger like Whataburger. Well, wait. Mooyah's (another local burger joint) is pretty good AND they support the Band! I'm all for places that support the Band. Yes, shameless plug there.
I lived in California for several years and never once made it to In-N-Out. I never paid attention to it. It was just another restaurant, like Carl's Jr. Well now it's in my face because it's in my city. Eventually I *might* try it, but for now, I'll stay with Whataburger.
I wonder how long it'll take for the burger hype to die down? I won't be going to I-N-O because if I'm hungry, I want to EAT! I don't want to wait 2-3 hours to get up to a drive through and I certainly don't want to wait in line for a 'fast food' fix. I'd go to a major restaurant. Before I did that, I'd make reservations!!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Puppy moves out
It never fails to amaze me how some people feel that it's their given right to judge a person for the choices they make. I have been dealing with Hero for the past several weeks and after he bit my son, we gave up on him. My husband is relatively unrelenting in this. He has said that the dog must go.
I found him a home and he'll be going to his new home on Saturday. I'm sad, but relieved, too, because he'll go to a home where there are other dogs to play with, he won't have time to chew or dig everything in sight (but he's "JUST A PUPPY!!") and my back yard won't be a mud pit any longer.
Tonight I caught him trying to eat one of the sprinkler heads and that was not cool. I had to chase him off my son because he has decided that my son is a chew toy. It's not making me happy. I don't know how to train a dog. Things have changed since I was younger and living with my mother at home with all her dogs. This is a HUSKY. He's a serious dog. I don't like "giving up" but I can't have him eating my family members or my yard. My husband is extremely agitated that the dog ate his raspberry. The raspberry was planted a month ago and is chewed to the ground. He's been attacking the Japanese Maple but is squirted when he gets near it.
Today at work, someone asked about the dog. I told her that he was moving out and she said, "you should have told me. I'd take him. I'd keep him inside." (he's an outside dog--howls in his crate any time he's locked into it)
I felt like it was a slap at me, even though I'm sure it wasn't. I don't believe that a dog has to be treated as a demi-god. I've been down that road. My mother's a prime example. Her gods are treated as demi-gods. This annoys me no end. She won't even visit her GRANDCHILDREN and they're human and 2 footed. Her 4 footed critters are her "babies" and that's her thing. She won't drive 2 hours to visit us. Of course, I kind of play the same game--I don't go the 2 hours to visit her. It's not a good thing, but there it is. I still am not forgiving that she won't recognize my kids. Ah well. I'll forgive and forget. Or not.
So, Hero is moving out to a friend's house. Her boyfriend wants him. He's got property and dogs for Hero to play with.
I'm sorry it didn't work out. I'm sorry that I'm such a horrible person who can't train a 12 week old puppy, who is overwhelmed and out of her league.
Thank goodness I'm not trying to do car repair, you know??
I found him a home and he'll be going to his new home on Saturday. I'm sad, but relieved, too, because he'll go to a home where there are other dogs to play with, he won't have time to chew or dig everything in sight (but he's "JUST A PUPPY!!") and my back yard won't be a mud pit any longer.
Tonight I caught him trying to eat one of the sprinkler heads and that was not cool. I had to chase him off my son because he has decided that my son is a chew toy. It's not making me happy. I don't know how to train a dog. Things have changed since I was younger and living with my mother at home with all her dogs. This is a HUSKY. He's a serious dog. I don't like "giving up" but I can't have him eating my family members or my yard. My husband is extremely agitated that the dog ate his raspberry. The raspberry was planted a month ago and is chewed to the ground. He's been attacking the Japanese Maple but is squirted when he gets near it.
Today at work, someone asked about the dog. I told her that he was moving out and she said, "you should have told me. I'd take him. I'd keep him inside." (he's an outside dog--howls in his crate any time he's locked into it)
I felt like it was a slap at me, even though I'm sure it wasn't. I don't believe that a dog has to be treated as a demi-god. I've been down that road. My mother's a prime example. Her gods are treated as demi-gods. This annoys me no end. She won't even visit her GRANDCHILDREN and they're human and 2 footed. Her 4 footed critters are her "babies" and that's her thing. She won't drive 2 hours to visit us. Of course, I kind of play the same game--I don't go the 2 hours to visit her. It's not a good thing, but there it is. I still am not forgiving that she won't recognize my kids. Ah well. I'll forgive and forget. Or not.
So, Hero is moving out to a friend's house. Her boyfriend wants him. He's got property and dogs for Hero to play with.
I'm sorry it didn't work out. I'm sorry that I'm such a horrible person who can't train a 12 week old puppy, who is overwhelmed and out of her league.
Thank goodness I'm not trying to do car repair, you know??
Monday, April 18, 2011
Missing a piece of me
I miss my karate. I miss being able to go to a class and work hard. I miss being able to say "I can do ___ (fill in the blanks)". I miss the hard work it took to prepare for my black belt test. I miss the camaraderie I had with my classmates. Eventually everyone moves on. Things change.
When I changed schools, I didn't feel like I was doing well. In fact, I wasn't. I was completely out of my element. I was overwhelmed by my own insecurities. I have been accused of feeling sorry for myself. I've been accused of not working to earn what I wanted. I have been accused of being a "whiner".
I'm back to thinking about karate. I spent a few weeks working on reading a book called Zen in the Martial Arts by Joel Hyams. Very good read. I have had it for close to a year and just got around to reading it. Now that I've read it, I'm back to thinking that I need to start back into training. I may never advance from Cho Dan to anything else, but it'll at least be a chance to say "I did something for me, something I wanted to do." Now all I need to do is either make good on my threats to myself or shut up.
It's time to start working on what I miss.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Puppy mumbles
We have a puppy who is completely crazy. He's going to be a very BIG dog...if his feet are any indication of potential size!
The other night we had a lot of rain and wind. I brought him into the house and put him into his crate. He, of course, doesn't like the crate, being that he's not been confined to it for long periods of time. He spent the evening grumbling, griping and generally making lots of noise. My cat went and hid because he didn't like the noise. As he left the living room, he hissed at the pup, then disappeared under the bed.
While we were waiting for the storm to blow through, we turned off the lights and headed for bed. The pup decided to continue to grumble and whine. He made a funny noise (a mrrmmmppp, mrrmmp type of noise) that had me laughing in the other room. He continued to whine and grumble until I put him back out at eleven-ish.
I'm still learning about how to be a responsible dog owner. I don't believe that my dog should be made a revered member of the family, but I think he's treated well--he has shelter, he's played with and fed. Now all I have to do is to get him housebroken, stop him from chewing everything and anything in sight and get him to the point where my son isn't afraid of him.
Once that happens, he may be a well behaved dog.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Final class
Hello! Did you miss me? I've been busy with my online schoolwork lately, so haven't made time for my blog. I've learned quite a LOT in the past several weeks. One of the things I've learned is that I don't know as much as I think I know!
I scored a 97% on my final exam, so I'm confident that I made an "A" in the class. It wasn't about the "A" though, it was about learning to write. I suffer from a lot of negativity, whether it's real or not. I have to work on my own insecurities and work through them. I cannot spend all my time being afraid to write. That's what I've been up until recently.
It took me almost two weeks to get caught up because I let myself slack off. I had a few days off last week to hang out with my husband for our anniversary (20 years) and I pushed myself to sit down and read my work. Plus, I did the assignments that were in the lessons. Now that I've been through one class, I'm thinking that I need to go ahead and attack a couple of other classes. I may have to put myself into an actual SCHOOL setting, not just an online setting. Sure, the online setting is great because I can do it in my own time, but at the same time, the fact that it's online gives me more time to slack off and not write. Or whatever I'm doing.
I feel pretty good about the piece of writing I started this morning. It's about my first Martial Arts class. I didn't let that nasty little voice in my head get to me. I just woke up, went out, played with the puppy and then came in and attacked my work. I feel pretty good about it.
Now that the class is over, I plan on writing in my blog a little more. I plan on setting some goals and accomplishing them. I may even share those goals.
Would you like to come along for the ride?
I scored a 97% on my final exam, so I'm confident that I made an "A" in the class. It wasn't about the "A" though, it was about learning to write. I suffer from a lot of negativity, whether it's real or not. I have to work on my own insecurities and work through them. I cannot spend all my time being afraid to write. That's what I've been up until recently.
It took me almost two weeks to get caught up because I let myself slack off. I had a few days off last week to hang out with my husband for our anniversary (20 years) and I pushed myself to sit down and read my work. Plus, I did the assignments that were in the lessons. Now that I've been through one class, I'm thinking that I need to go ahead and attack a couple of other classes. I may have to put myself into an actual SCHOOL setting, not just an online setting. Sure, the online setting is great because I can do it in my own time, but at the same time, the fact that it's online gives me more time to slack off and not write. Or whatever I'm doing.
I feel pretty good about the piece of writing I started this morning. It's about my first Martial Arts class. I didn't let that nasty little voice in my head get to me. I just woke up, went out, played with the puppy and then came in and attacked my work. I feel pretty good about it.
Now that the class is over, I plan on writing in my blog a little more. I plan on setting some goals and accomplishing them. I may even share those goals.
Would you like to come along for the ride?
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Creative Writing
I've now had two Creative Writing lessons. The first one was to write an introduction to yourself. I don't do very well at introductions. She wanted us to write a little bit about who we are and why we're taking the class. My intro was very short...and it wasn't interesting enough to get anyone's interest. I just didn't know what I wanted to say. I wrote that I was a highly stressed 45 year old mother of two who was also a martial artist, that I was taking the writing class to try to hone my writing skills.
My second lesson, on Friday, was a lesson on writing descriptively. The assignment was to light a candle and then describe the candle
Here's what I wrote:
My second lesson, on Friday, was a lesson on writing descriptively. The assignment was to light a candle and then describe the candle
Here's what I wrote:
The candle is a dusky red, reminiscent of the apples the scent is advertised to be on the jar . I light my match and apply it to the wick. The flame catches slightly, then takes and the wick begins to burn. I hold the match until that flame is nothing but a tiny ember, then run the tap in the sink and immerse it underneath, to quench the ember. My candle flame flickers, growing first shorter, then taller as it burns. The flame reaches above the rim of the candle jar, its end pointy and alternately yellow, orange and then black from the smoke. The smoke from the flame is straight, then circular, and back to straight. As the wick burns, the wax below it widens out slowly, from a shallow indentation to a deeper well. The wick is black at the end, but down in the candle, the wick is still a pristine red. The flame leans in toward me, then retreats toward the other side of the jar. As it does, I watch the smoke rise and the air shimmer above it with a suppressed promise of heat and potential destruction if not monitored closely.
Copyright M. Nico 2/19/11
The instructor said that words such as "dancing" were ones people typically use when they describe flames. I tried to convey a slightly different thought with my candle.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Going back to school!!
I finally did something that I've been wanting to do for a while. I'm going to be taking a Creative Writing class online starting February 16th. I've already decided to put aside a couple of evenings a week to work on my homework. I WANT to get ahead in the world. I've already come to the conclusion that I'm not going to advance very far in my job so I'm going to do something that will benefit me. I'm excited by the fact that I've gotten myself into a writing class. I'm considering taking a course in English to try to get my degree. Someone asked me on Facebook what I would want an English degree for. I said that I could write. I also said that I could potentially go to work as a substitute teacher if possible. That would work for me. Higher education is always a plus.
I'm excited that I've taken the first step. I'm really looking forward to going to school again!!!
I'm excited that I've taken the first step. I'm really looking forward to going to school again!!!
Sunday, February 06, 2011
Catching up
Thursday, I had surgery to remove a "branchial cleft cyst" from my neck. It was on the left side of my neck and was pushing out the muscle. Nobody knew it was there, except for me, and that was only because I sometimes pay attention to things. One of the things I had been noticing was that my face was "puffy". It wasn't where it had been. Usually, when I smile, I have "dimples" and "brackets" on both sides of my mouth. The bracket wasn't on the left at all. It was filled in. I looked haggard, as well (in my opinion). I had a puffy spot just below my jaw on the left.
When I went to my regular doctor, he sent me to an ENT (Ear, Nose and Throat doctor). We agreed in October that we'd watch it and see if it changed. It did not, so in December, he sent me off to have an MRI. That was the beginning of the whole thing. The MRI showed this lump...it was about 3.5-4 cm, I think. I'm not sure as I wasn't measuring it. The doctor read the reports, looked at the pictures and decided that he wanted to biopsy my thyroid too, as that showed a nodule on it. That came back negative (YAY ME!), but we still needed to do something about the lump in the side of my neck.
When I saw the doctor in January, he got things going and we scheduled surgery for February 3rd.
I was scheduled to have my pre-op tests (EKG, etc) on the 1st, but that didn't happen as planned. I got to the hospital, was checked in, but they didn't have orders. They couldn't get in touch with the doctor's office because we had had an ice storm Monday night and nobody was in the office. No big deal. We just went over my medical history, then I left. I was told to return at 8:00 am on Thursday.
Thursday came and I went to the hospital with my husband. I got there, they took me to the back, put me in a room and had me gown up in the typical hospital gown. Then they came in and tried to start an IV. The one nurse stuck me once but the vein blew. She tried a second time and the other vein blew. Then she called in reinforcements, who tried on my arm. THAT vein blew! (I was dehydrated, which didn't help). They finally got the IV into my left hand (thank you, not the right!!), ran the EKG (normal!) and then had me take one last test (apparently, if you're a female, no matter how old you are, you get this test).
The anesthesiologist came in, talked to me and told me how things would go. Then his assistant came in and gave me my first "shot" into my IV. I was coherent until about 9:45 when I think they came in to take me to the OR.
The next thing I know, I'm waking up in recovery, being sick (thanks to being extubated) and listening to the nurses talk to the guy across from me who was fighting to lay on a hip that they had just replaced. I went back to sleep because they gave me a dose of something to prevent me from being nauseous and slept for another hour. When I woke up, my doctor came in and talked to me. He was able to get the entire cyst, without taking my tonsils (that was a concern, that the cyst had compromised my tonsils) and I was going to be fine. The only thing he said was that he'd had to cut a nerve in my face, a 'sensory nerve' and he thought it would have affected my ear. Surprise...not my ear, but under my chin. I now feel like I've been hit with a huge dose of Novacaine. Right now, the numbness moves around from my incision to the side of my jaw and back to underneath my chin.
The surgery was "outpatient" surgery, which meant that I got the time in the OR, plus 23 hours in observation. I spent the night, quite restlessly, having my blood pressure taken, getting an IV infusion of antibiotics, sleeping through various programs on television and annoying my nurses. I had a lovely young lady from Nepal who was my night nurse. She was sweet and very kind. She took pictures of the snowfall that we had Thursday night and showed them to me when I woke up at 4:30. I was awake off and on from 4:30 until 7:00, when my husband showed up with my clothes. The nurses came in and told me that my doctor wouldn't be in to see me in the morning as he was snowed into his house (6-8 inches of snow fell Thursday night. Texas isn't used to that!).
They discharged me and I was free to come home. We got here about 9:00, after leaving around 8:00. I was very happy to get here. My cat was waiting for me--he missed my lap, apparently!
There are no restrictions on my activity. I haven't taken a single pain killer since I left the hospital. They would have written me a prescription for oxycodone, but I didn't want it and don't need it. I just have to get used to having stitches in my neck and the numbness, which I hope will go away when he takes the stitches out on Tuesday. I'm off from work all week, and will work on sleeping (yes!!), and getting re-hydrated. I know that part of the problem with the blown veins was me, but I'll work on that.
Now to move on to bigger and better things!!
When I went to my regular doctor, he sent me to an ENT (Ear, Nose and Throat doctor). We agreed in October that we'd watch it and see if it changed. It did not, so in December, he sent me off to have an MRI. That was the beginning of the whole thing. The MRI showed this lump...it was about 3.5-4 cm, I think. I'm not sure as I wasn't measuring it. The doctor read the reports, looked at the pictures and decided that he wanted to biopsy my thyroid too, as that showed a nodule on it. That came back negative (YAY ME!), but we still needed to do something about the lump in the side of my neck.
When I saw the doctor in January, he got things going and we scheduled surgery for February 3rd.
I was scheduled to have my pre-op tests (EKG, etc) on the 1st, but that didn't happen as planned. I got to the hospital, was checked in, but they didn't have orders. They couldn't get in touch with the doctor's office because we had had an ice storm Monday night and nobody was in the office. No big deal. We just went over my medical history, then I left. I was told to return at 8:00 am on Thursday.
Thursday came and I went to the hospital with my husband. I got there, they took me to the back, put me in a room and had me gown up in the typical hospital gown. Then they came in and tried to start an IV. The one nurse stuck me once but the vein blew. She tried a second time and the other vein blew. Then she called in reinforcements, who tried on my arm. THAT vein blew! (I was dehydrated, which didn't help). They finally got the IV into my left hand (thank you, not the right!!), ran the EKG (normal!) and then had me take one last test (apparently, if you're a female, no matter how old you are, you get this test).
The anesthesiologist came in, talked to me and told me how things would go. Then his assistant came in and gave me my first "shot" into my IV. I was coherent until about 9:45 when I think they came in to take me to the OR.
The next thing I know, I'm waking up in recovery, being sick (thanks to being extubated) and listening to the nurses talk to the guy across from me who was fighting to lay on a hip that they had just replaced. I went back to sleep because they gave me a dose of something to prevent me from being nauseous and slept for another hour. When I woke up, my doctor came in and talked to me. He was able to get the entire cyst, without taking my tonsils (that was a concern, that the cyst had compromised my tonsils) and I was going to be fine. The only thing he said was that he'd had to cut a nerve in my face, a 'sensory nerve' and he thought it would have affected my ear. Surprise...not my ear, but under my chin. I now feel like I've been hit with a huge dose of Novacaine. Right now, the numbness moves around from my incision to the side of my jaw and back to underneath my chin.
The surgery was "outpatient" surgery, which meant that I got the time in the OR, plus 23 hours in observation. I spent the night, quite restlessly, having my blood pressure taken, getting an IV infusion of antibiotics, sleeping through various programs on television and annoying my nurses. I had a lovely young lady from Nepal who was my night nurse. She was sweet and very kind. She took pictures of the snowfall that we had Thursday night and showed them to me when I woke up at 4:30. I was awake off and on from 4:30 until 7:00, when my husband showed up with my clothes. The nurses came in and told me that my doctor wouldn't be in to see me in the morning as he was snowed into his house (6-8 inches of snow fell Thursday night. Texas isn't used to that!).
They discharged me and I was free to come home. We got here about 9:00, after leaving around 8:00. I was very happy to get here. My cat was waiting for me--he missed my lap, apparently!
There are no restrictions on my activity. I haven't taken a single pain killer since I left the hospital. They would have written me a prescription for oxycodone, but I didn't want it and don't need it. I just have to get used to having stitches in my neck and the numbness, which I hope will go away when he takes the stitches out on Tuesday. I'm off from work all week, and will work on sleeping (yes!!), and getting re-hydrated. I know that part of the problem with the blown veins was me, but I'll work on that.
Now to move on to bigger and better things!!
Monday, January 17, 2011
Whose legs are these anyway?
Day three of my goal to work out daily at least 30 minutes a day. I wasted time this morning, trying to get the television set up to allow my "game". I was furious at myself when I finally got it working, so I pushed myself to work harder to make up for not getting started on time. I am working on the "Biggest Loser Challenge" Wii game. I set myself a goal of working out for 12 weeks. I have a lot of work to do in that time--get the exercise in and then I can move on to eating better.
I am now getting up earlier--that alarm is going to kill me at some point, I feel certain. I don't want to get up any earlier than when my alarm usually goes off, but I did. I have to admit that I pressed the snooze button once this morning, but got up after that. I'm going to have to condition myself to get up that early. It'll take a bit of practice. I can do it though.
I worked my lower body yesterday and today, I worked my upper body. My legs HURT!! I'm not sure why...I didn't do anything out of the ordinary, but still, my legs are super sore. I guess it's because I moved! Guess I will have to keep moving so that I can get past the pain. LOL!
My best "subject" so far is the squats today and the "slip" (think of it as a duck and punch thing). Oh, the pain! Cannot wait until tomorrow's workout....oh wait!! I don't have a workout tomorrow. It's supposed to be an "off" day, but I'm going to take it and run with it.
So...sore legs, check! Working out five times a week...heading there.
I am now getting up earlier--that alarm is going to kill me at some point, I feel certain. I don't want to get up any earlier than when my alarm usually goes off, but I did. I have to admit that I pressed the snooze button once this morning, but got up after that. I'm going to have to condition myself to get up that early. It'll take a bit of practice. I can do it though.
I worked my lower body yesterday and today, I worked my upper body. My legs HURT!! I'm not sure why...I didn't do anything out of the ordinary, but still, my legs are super sore. I guess it's because I moved! Guess I will have to keep moving so that I can get past the pain. LOL!
My best "subject" so far is the squats today and the "slip" (think of it as a duck and punch thing). Oh, the pain! Cannot wait until tomorrow's workout....oh wait!! I don't have a workout tomorrow. It's supposed to be an "off" day, but I'm going to take it and run with it.
So...sore legs, check! Working out five times a week...heading there.
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