"Lance Chance Workout"

At nearly the last minute yesterday, I texted Alba and asked her if she was busy.  I felt a pressing need to get myself out and work out. I'd talked to my son in the morning and he somewhat expressed an interest in participating in the Rudolph Run on December 3.  That's not that far away.  I am somewhat interested in it myself, although I'm NOT going to run.  I'm too big and don't feel like having all my body parts jiggling and dancing as I attempt to move quickly through downtown.  Nope.  Not me.  I'll walk it though.  Alba says I need to get my hind end moving at least three times a week if I plan on being prepared for it.  I need to get acclimated to the weather, etc. 

I sent a text message to Alba at 3:00 and asked her if she was available at 5:30.  Fortunately for me, she was!  She came over and we went over to the park.  I can tell I'm not in shape because a simple quick walk (not really fast, just a good pace) had me huffing and puffing.  Alba pointed out that I'm stomping a little too hard when walking, so we worked on improving my foot position.  What was really neat was that she knew which foot was hitting wrong, even without looking!
She walked me through the park, had me do several squats, then we hit the stairs and did MORE leg-work and push ups against the rail.  My arms are sore today, as is another body part, but it's to be expected.  I feel pretty good, all things considered.  She had me step out of my comfort zone and step up on the second step from the bottom landing of the steps.  I was afraid of falling, but she kept encouraging and kept pushing.  I finally got a song on my phone that had me going (Oingo Boingo's No One Lives Forever). I like the pace and the lyrics, so I worked my butt off to get up on that step.  It was a lot easier on my left leg (pushing off with my right leg), which means I have to do MORE work on my right side.

When we came back, we planned on meeting tomorrow morning at 8:00 am.  I WILL be up and we are gonna work!  It's a shimmy day!  I'm looking forward to it.  I love dancing and this will be awesome!!

Sloppy kicks are not acceptable

Class last night was different. It was a major eye opener to me.

We did warm ups that consisted of hand and foot techniques. We did reverse punches for hands. 30 total...10 for technique, 10 for speed, 10 for power. 30 on each side for a total of 60. I felt it last night in my shoulders because I've been sloppy in my training and have not trained well in my opinion. I was not keeping my elbow tucked down by my side for the punches and kept rolling my shoulder up. Master G had to correct me a number of times. He was watching all of us and making comments about improving our techniques.

We also did kicks for warm up. Again, here's me noticing how sloppy I am in my technique. I feel like I'm just learning all over again. It feels very much like I'm starting over. I read on a blog (Ikigaiway) that black belt is when you start to learn. This is really true for me. It hurt me to not spend a lot of time practicing except for black belt prep classes. Realistically, I think in the three months between leaving USMA and joining BTK as a full time student, I kicked my own butt. I didn't practice in between. It is showing too.
During the kicking drill, Master G reminded me that I needed to turn my hip over when I do side kicks. Amazingly enough, I found that I had more power when I did the kicks correctly. I could hit the target more than I was when I didn't turn my hips over. I know I've heard "turn your hips over" many times. I just didn't put it into practical application. I have to now or else I will NOT move ahead. If I plan on earning my Ee Dan in April (not that I'm seeing it very likely, realistically), I have to kick better, punch better and perform forms MUCH better. I need to learn Bunkai so that I can explain the WHYS of my forms.

I'll take a spine for Two Hundred

I truly despise conflict. I don't do well with it and am easily cowed by more forceful personalities. I have to make a phone call I don't want to make and explain my reasons for not coming back to my old school to my instructor. I am not happy about that either. I'm going to disappoint him and that makes me very nervous.

Basically, today he called my cell phone. I answered it as "Thank you for calling Mur--Um, this is Meg, can you hold on?" He said, "sure" and I was able to finish my call with my customer I'd been talking to. Then I put myself into "not available" and took that call (which is a no-no in our call center). He said, "hey, how are you?" I said "fine..." He said "Do you know who this is?" I told him I didn't recognize the voice and he said, "It's M!" Then he launched into "Don't care about the money, get back into class!" I was like, Ummmmm....I can't talk about this right now. Can I call you back? He said fine, just don't ignore him.

Now I have a dilemma. I don't want him to have any power over me. I do owe him some respect for his teaching me and helping me overcome a lot of obstacles. I also owe it to myself to be honest with him and with myself. I just wasn't happy with the way things changed. I'm a creature of habit. I truly LOVE Tang Soo Do and want to stay with that discipline. I don't want to go and learn new disciplines or new forms, more than the forms I am already set on learning. I don't want to disappoint myself by not being able to stand up for my right to explore the fullness the Tang Soo Do traditon has for me. I'm a Cho Dan and I earned it, despite what anyone else says.

There is a Sam Dan (He may be a Sa Dan, I don't know) in his school who makes me feel like I'm the lowest life form around. I didn't want my leaving to be tied to him because it validates HIS power over me but at the same time, he wasn't a mentoring type and didn't make me feel like I was worth anything. I pretty much felt like I was insignificant.
I do like myself and I am worthy of the decisions I'm making, so now all I have to do is to tell M that I'm not coming back and tell him in a polite way that I'm not coming back and it has everything to do with my determination to continue on the course I've set for myself. I am going to have my second Dan (Ee Dan) next year. I am going to be more physically fit. I will have my Ee Dan in the tradition I have chosen, which is Tang Soo Do.

Now I just need to put it into words that are pretty but firm and say what I need to get across, that I am worthy and I'm going to keep out of his school.