Tag!

I was recently tagged by Gal Friday to reveal 7 random things about myself. I'm trying to think of random things I can tell you that are interesting...

1. I love to read. I've got 5 bookshelves in my apartment that are literally groaning with books.

2. When I'm stressed out, I write. Most of the time, I don't share it, but I write.

3. I collect snowmen.

4. I have never been outside of the United States.

5. I learned how to speak Gaelic many years ago. Not fluently, but I could speak it.

6. I'm a perfectionist. My instructor is trying to help me overcome this flaw in my nature.

7. I am determined to get my second Dan (EE Dan) BEFORE I'm 50 years old!!
(that gives me 6 years to get cracking!)

I'm not sure who I'll tag...but if anyone reads this and wants to talk about it, please feel free to comment me about it!

Sloppy kicks are not acceptable

Class last night was different. It was a major eye opener to me.

We did warm ups that consisted of hand and foot techniques. We did reverse punches for hands. 30 total...10 for technique, 10 for speed, 10 for power. 30 on each side for a total of 60. I felt it last night in my shoulders because I've been sloppy in my training and have not trained well in my opinion. I was not keeping my elbow tucked down by my side for the punches and kept rolling my shoulder up. Master G had to correct me a number of times. He was watching all of us and making comments about improving our techniques.

We also did kicks for warm up. Again, here's me noticing how sloppy I am in my technique. I feel like I'm just learning all over again. It feels very much like I'm starting over. I read on a blog (Ikigaiway) that black belt is when you start to learn. This is really true for me. It hurt me to not spend a lot of time practicing except for black belt prep classes. Realistically, I think in the three months between leaving USMA and joining BTK as a full time student, I kicked my own butt. I didn't practice in between. It is showing too.
During the kicking drill, Master G reminded me that I needed to turn my hip over when I do side kicks. Amazingly enough, I found that I had more power when I did the kicks correctly. I could hit the target more than I was when I didn't turn my hips over. I know I've heard "turn your hips over" many times. I just didn't put it into practical application. I have to now or else I will NOT move ahead. If I plan on earning my Ee Dan in April (not that I'm seeing it very likely, realistically), I have to kick better, punch better and perform forms MUCH better. I need to learn Bunkai so that I can explain the WHYS of my forms.

Martial arts musings

I got to thinking a while back about my martial arts and how I was doing. I started taking a serious look at the way I practice (or don't) and how well I was doing in relation to other people. I will never be an NB type, where I don't have a life *except* martial arts. I don't take classes seven days a week. I can't and I won't. Well, okay, I suppose I could, but why? I'm not THAT obsessed by it.

There are two people I absolutely adore right now. Ms. Mad and Ms. S. Both of them have made me feel MUCH better about how badly I've forgotten and/or screwed up Oh Dan. Both of them pointed out that I have no business comparing myself to other people. It's a nasty habit, and one that is extremely hard to break. I can't look at the people I'm training with and say "I am not as good as he/she is". They may have different ways of shining. I will have different qualifications. It doesn't mean I'm a lousy martial artist, even though, in my head, I am thinking this. It means I came from a school where the teaching was different. It doesn't mean that I can't get back on track. I just have to choose to get on track.

Now that being said, part of getting on track is my weight. I have to move on and eat better PLUS exercise. It takes proper nutrition and activity to get to the point where I'll be working at optimum levels. I can't let silly things get me down. I have to get myself back to the point where I was last August and September. It's almost been a year since I first tested for my Cho Dan. I earned it then, and then re-certified over the next six months. I should be proud of that. I EARNED IT!!

Now I have to look ahead. I still want to get my Ee Dan. That's next on my list. I won't be getting it from Unlimited Success Martial Arts as I am no longer attending that school. I feel that I wasn't taken seriously by all people there.
My friends, DB and ST took me seriously. I felt, by the end of my time there, that Mr. M only saw me as a poster child for "Look! A fat person CAN get a black belt!" I don't feel like he took ME seriously. I'm overly sensitive to my weight, I know, but it's annoying to be led to feel like that.


Now I'm looking back at my last few months of classes. I wasn't really working to my highest potential. There were a lot of changes going on in the school. One of the biggest changes took place mid-June, when he packed up and moved the school to a different location. Then things really started going downhill for me. I didn't attend more than 2 classes at the new location. I went for one class and didn't actually participate because the instructor had a LOT of people stuffed into a tiny room. That instructor has a habit of criticizing people if they're not performing up to HIS standards (he's a 4th Dan, I think. Heck, I don't know what he is! I know I didn't like him and don't respect him, even now...)

What's really annoying to me, after all is said and done, is that I can't see HOW I earned my belt if I'm so bad. I don't THINK I'm really that horrible but at the same time, I'm not at the highest level I could be at.

We all have self doubts. As Ms. Mad told me, I have a habit of doubting myself and it's affecting my mindset. I get fixated on one thing and worry it to death. Pyung Ahn Oh Dan is a good example of this. I flopped on the form in two or possibly three classes and didn't do it correctly. Rather than trying to figure out, IN CLASS (or after!) what I did wrong, I started beating myself up over it. I have to get out of my head, think outside the box, literally, and start over. I DO know that form. I just need to practice. When in doubt, practice some more.

Ms. S has offered to work with me outside of class to help me get back on track. Since I love martial arts and feel like this is a good fit for me, I'm going to take her up on it. I need to push forward with this for me, not for anyone else. I have been very happy with it. I will continue to be happy. In the few classes I've attended at BTK, I've come away with a sense of accomplishment--it's a lot of hard work. They don't goof off, but they're not so strict that you can't smile and have fun. You just have to show up to work.

I am going to push forward and get my next belt. Again, it won't be at USMA but I WILL get that belt! I don't think I'm going to let my perception of what I feel Mr. M thinks of me stop me. I had, there for a while, felt that I wasn't good enough. That will change. I may not be the smallest person in a class, but I'm good enough to have earned my Cho Dan. I'll be good enough to push on and earn my Ee Dan. Then Sam Dan. If I start working now, I'll get back into shape enough to hopefully be invited to test for my Ee Dan next year. I have the rest of 2008 to get myself back into shape. I can do it. Ultimately, it's all up to me.

Ramping up for the belt test

Tonight was Tang Soo Do class. It was tough but well worth it. Next weekend is the belt test. I'm still in shock that I've been taking lessons since August of 2004 and am almost at the point of getting my Cho Dan Bo. For those of you who aren't familiar with my tradition of martial arts, Cho Dan Bo is a black belt candidate. I think I'm ready for it. My good friend (the one who's been making me go walking) has been helping me tweak my forms and get them into more presentable shape. There is one form called Ee-Dan, which I have managed to do properly. It looks so much better now and actually FEELS better as I'm executing it! I am really looking forward to it. I WANT to prove that I'm every bit as good as the people who have gone before me. I am following some really talented martial artists. I admire people who succeed at what they're good at. I didn't used to think I was good at anything, but I've really gotten to the point where I feel like I'm doing something I am good at. I've seen a LOT of improvement from where I was this time in 2004. I have not given up on this. I've pushed through a lot of self negativity. I told myself "I don't know if I can do this." but I'm doing it. I feel a strong sense of accomplishment. I still get down on myself at times for things-I know that it's no reflection on me, but I hate being last. Not everyone can be first and I'd do well to remember that.
Next week he'll run classes as if it was an actual test. This means that I have to settle down and work hard because I want to make sure I'm ready for that test!! I will be ready! Like I said, I have some really talented people whose footsteps I'm following in. I don't want to let them down.