I found myself thinking today about the things I don't have--a lot of friends, physical fitness, my health intact.
I miss my karate. I miss being able to go to a class and work hard. I miss being able to say "I can do ___ (fill in the blanks)". I miss the hard work it took to prepare for my black belt test. I miss the camaraderie I had with my classmates. Eventually everyone moves on. Things change.
When I changed schools, I didn't feel like I was doing well. In fact, I wasn't. I was completely out of my element. I was overwhelmed by my own insecurities. I have been accused of feeling sorry for myself. I've been accused of not working to earn what I wanted. I have been accused of being a "whiner".
I'm back to thinking about karate. I spent a few weeks working on reading a book called Zen in the Martial Arts by Joel Hyams. Very good read. I have had it for close to a year and just got around to reading it. Now that I've read it, I'm back to thinking that I need to start back into training. I may never advance from Cho Dan to anything else, but it'll at least be a chance to say "I did something for me, something I wanted to do." Now all I need to do is either make good on my threats to myself or shut up.
It's time to start working on what I miss.
This morning I started my workouts earlier than normal for a Saturday. I got up at 5:30 and knocked out two workouts--the 30 day challenge workout and one of my own devising. I'm a bit tired, but feel like it's worth it. I actually got a chance to sit here without anyone else up for an hour and a few after the workouts, so that's a plus. I rather like being able to sit quietly and not have to worry about what time any certain cartoon is on or whatever. Currently Mr. A is watching some weird cartoon on television. It's a huge change from when I was a kid. Then, Bugs Bunny was the thing to catch on Saturday morning.
I have to talk about Mr. A for a minute too. On Thursday, he and Ms. M had a talk about his progress. They reviewed his progress sheet and she set a couple of goals for him to achieve this next week--like not talking out of turn during class. If he makes that goal by Thursday, then he will move up from the Beginner class to the Advanced Beginner class. I have warned him that the instructor of the AB class is not going to take any nonsense off him as she's a teacher outside of the school too. That will make him settle in and concentrate a little bit, I hope!!
He sat through my class on Thursday fairly well. For a while, I know he was playing with my cell phone, then he put it into my bag and just watched as we ran through our One Steps and Ho Sin Sul. Then he watched as we moved into the other room and worked on our Bunkai. That was a refreshing thing! He was complimented and told that people forgot that he was in there because he was so quiet. I was very proud of him. I told him that too.
We have Open Training today at 11:30. I'm taking Mr. A with me because he can work on his form and on techniques. I'm going to work with my friend, K, on forms, One Steps and Ho Sin Sul. She'll be testing at our next test and I want to help her brush up. Plus, it helps me out because I can brush up on the White through Green belt one steps too. I also have to concentrate on learning the Red Belt one steps, so that's on my list to practice too.
Thursday night in class, Mr. L gave us a new workout for our glutes that he got from his physical therapist. You stand on one foot, such as your left. Raise your right foot out behind you. As you do, you hinge forward from your hips and reach with your right hand. If you can get down a little lower, that's a good thing.. Keep reaching. It's an incredibly good stretch for the glutes. He had us do this several times during the warm up. I am going to work on that here too because I liked the stretch. There's another stretch we do for the glutes where you are on the floor with one leg bent at an angle. The opposite leg is straight back. You lean forward over the one leg and get the stretch in your glutes that way. I actually enjoy that exercise. I like the stretch. I really should stretch daily but don't. I make excuses about "not having the time" but I know I can make it. I just have to get my lazy butt up and moving.
Today was my 14th out of 20 exercises on the Active. I had boxing today, which I enjoy, as well as baseball and tennis. The tennis was pretty good. I was able to hit a good forehand swing. I'll never play at Wimbledon, but it was a good exercise. I'm practicing using my hips more. I've got to work on that because it translates to karate as well as every day things. In the boxing, I'm working on getting the stances down and the foot positions.
I'm turning into an exercise junkie, I think. I don't run (yet), but I definitely think that I'm getting somewhere with exercising. Once this 30 day challenge is finished, I think I might just go ahead and start another one. I really like the feeling I get from the exercise.
Cub Scouts and Karate...what a combination!!
Tonight was the Pack meeting. I attended that (kind of had to since I'm the Den leader!!). I decided that no matter what, I needed to go to class as well, if for nothing else, note taking. I met my friend, DB there and we observed class.
Unfortunately, the lights went out right around 9:00, so everyone was dismissed and headed on out. I introduced Master M to my friend and then asked her about a Ho Sin Sul move that I'd watched. She was kind enough to demonstrate, so I have a better idea of how it's supposed to work.
After class, DB and I stood outside in the parking lot and talked. We haven't had the opportunity to talk like that for a long time. It's something I missed. We talked about Bassai and I explained to him the opening (MG calls it a salutation) of the form, then actually ran through it. We compared what I've started to learn and what he had taught me and I showed him the refinements I'm working on putting into place. We also talked about Naihanchi Cho Dan and I told him that I felt like I have much work to do to get to that place in my mind that I have been living in. That's the place that says I have to get to "x-level"...and won't accept less than that. I have to work on that idea. I'll lose myself if I'm not careful. I'm determined to perform at a high level. I just need to give myself the "It's okay to not be perfect." talk soon. VERY soon or I'll have my butt kicked by a person with an injured calf!!
I didn't get to talk to Ms. S or Ms. Mad, nor Mr. L tonight. That's okay. I know they were all busy. I did show up, so that says *something*. I didn't just say "Oh, I'm too tired after Cub Scouts." and park myself on the couch. I'll give myself an "A" for that!!
I am going to write up my notes, such as they were, and send them to DB. He wanted to look at them. Plus, it'll help me figure out what they were doing. Big THANK YOU to Master F for telling me what started out the class. Yay!!
