It is extremely frustrating to know that 4 years ago, I was in the best shape of my life. I was training for my black belt recertification test and felt great. I had been sick in '07 with Strep, lost a LOT of weight and managed to work hard and keep it off. Fast forward to 2011 and I'm back where I started with Weight Watchers in 2004. I'm heavier than I've been for a long time.
I'm frustrated by that. I'm irritated with myself for gaining weight. I haven't managed to keep off what I lost. I want to lose. I gained weight between last week and this week (my weigh in day for Weight Watchers is Sunday).
So...I am looking at getting myself some Nordic walking poles. I had the opportunity to get some last week but didn't. I have been reading reviews on pedometers as well. I am determined to get healthier this year. I had a biopsy of my thyroid on the 29th of December and am in a holding pattern, waiting to hear about that. I don't feel like anything's wrong, other than I am perpetually cold (my boss says I'm "old") and feel sluggish at times.
I'm going to borrow a thought a friend has. I'm not going to make a resolution because I will break it. Instead, I'm going to work on setting a few goals that are attainable. I am going to work on eating healthier food and work on getting more exercise in. In fact, my goal is to get my walking poles and walk this weekend.
Showing posts with label weight. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weight. Show all posts
Sunday, January 02, 2011
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Self doubt
I had a meltdown of sorts last night. I felt horribly FAT, so I punished myself by not going to class. I'm not where I think I should be or where I want to be. My uniform isn't the best fitting right now and I HATE that! I'm not able to run a mile. For that matter, I can't run. Period! I'm actually horribly lazy. It's a shame that I am. I haven't been feeling like I'm accomplishing very much.
Part of my problem is that I'm good about mouthing to everyone about following points, getting lots of exercise, and yet, I'm all talk. I apparently cannot walk the walk. I either seriously over-eat my points (most likely!) or under-eat them (not likely!). It's no wonder I don't lose weight! Now, why can't I translate what I know into practical application???? I have been TRYING but apparently I'm not trying hard enough. OR...am I giving myself license to eat more on the days when I actually DO exercise?? I had decided that when school started, my daughter and I would get up and go out walking in the mornings before school. We haven't. I barely drag myself out of bed at 5:00 am. I think I need to work on that idea more.
I hope to get my fat feelings under control. I shouldn't let my weight control me. I should control my weight. Why do I feel like I'm not a good person if I'm heavy? I have lost my acceptance of myself, I think. If I can't accept me for who I am, how do I expect to be successful???
Part of my problem is that I'm good about mouthing to everyone about following points, getting lots of exercise, and yet, I'm all talk. I apparently cannot walk the walk. I either seriously over-eat my points (most likely!) or under-eat them (not likely!). It's no wonder I don't lose weight! Now, why can't I translate what I know into practical application???? I have been TRYING but apparently I'm not trying hard enough. OR...am I giving myself license to eat more on the days when I actually DO exercise?? I had decided that when school started, my daughter and I would get up and go out walking in the mornings before school. We haven't. I barely drag myself out of bed at 5:00 am. I think I need to work on that idea more.
I hope to get my fat feelings under control. I shouldn't let my weight control me. I should control my weight. Why do I feel like I'm not a good person if I'm heavy? I have lost my acceptance of myself, I think. If I can't accept me for who I am, how do I expect to be successful???
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Thursday's thoughts
One of our cars is related to Lorraine's computer.
It died tonight. This is the second time this month the car has died on us. The first time, I was at karate. Tony had come to pick up Aidan and his car died, so I had to give him my keys while I took class. That night, we got the car jumped for $20.00 (not the $85.00 the dude was originally going to charge us!) and Tony took it home. That saved our bacon. He took the battery in to Auto Zone and had it checked out--it was "fine" according to them.
Fast forward to tonight. Tony called me from work and said "I'm taking the car to Goodyear. It died again. Someone here gave me a jump." Hooray! He walked home from Goodyear. It's a good thing the weather was cooler.
Goodyear called and told him that it was a battery issue. I had to tell him "I told you so!" since I'd told him that it was the battery when it first died. Ms. S suggested that...this IS Texas and extremely high temperatures will kill batteries. hahaha!! I had to laugh when he told me what it was.
$150.00 later, we've got a new bttery in the car. It really didn't take them that long to resolve the car problem. Makes me happy.
Of course, since the car died and Tony had to get to a meeting tonight, I missed my class. I guess I'll live. I'm not going to be overly grumpy. I'll just spend some time on Saturday doing forms outside. It'll be a good thing to do.
Before I left the old martial arts school, back when I was a "instructor" (I say that loosely because I only taught 2 classes by myself), I was planning on running a class outside. I stole the idea from another blog I spend time reading. He was talking about training outside. That's an idea I like. Still need to try to get that tried out one of these days. I'll go outside and do it myself. Then I can't be "busted" for teaching.
I'm a bit bummed about my weight. I've been fussing at myself all week. I didn't eat cleanly this week--last night we had nachos for dinner. Tony and I have gone from each of us eating a plate a piece to sharing one plate, and he eats the lion's share. Unfortunately, the chips have salt in them and any time you even HINT at salt near me, my body acts like it's the Sahara Desert. I seriously retain water. I gained a half pound overnight, despite 90 ounces of water! Ugh. Not my favorite thing to see. Need to work on that. I either can't eat chips (boo, hiss) or I need to up my water. That'll thrill people at work no end...they already make rude comments about me leaving my desk. Just what I don't need! DB has already reminded me once this week that I need to keep up with the water. He told me the other day that he'd drunk 2 litres of water by the time I'd barely finished 30 ounces. I've got to work on that as a goal too.
Maybe I need to figure out how to create an interactive chart to put up on my blog so that people can follow along when I'm drinking water and they can nag at me (nicely, of course) until I drink more.
It died tonight. This is the second time this month the car has died on us. The first time, I was at karate. Tony had come to pick up Aidan and his car died, so I had to give him my keys while I took class. That night, we got the car jumped for $20.00 (not the $85.00 the dude was originally going to charge us!) and Tony took it home. That saved our bacon. He took the battery in to Auto Zone and had it checked out--it was "fine" according to them.
Fast forward to tonight. Tony called me from work and said "I'm taking the car to Goodyear. It died again. Someone here gave me a jump." Hooray! He walked home from Goodyear. It's a good thing the weather was cooler.
Goodyear called and told him that it was a battery issue. I had to tell him "I told you so!" since I'd told him that it was the battery when it first died. Ms. S suggested that...this IS Texas and extremely high temperatures will kill batteries. hahaha!! I had to laugh when he told me what it was.
$150.00 later, we've got a new bttery in the car. It really didn't take them that long to resolve the car problem. Makes me happy.
Of course, since the car died and Tony had to get to a meeting tonight, I missed my class.
Before I left the old martial arts school, back when I was a "instructor" (I say that loosely because I only taught 2 classes by myself), I was planning on running a class outside. I stole the idea from another blog I spend time reading. He was talking about training outside. That's an idea I like. Still need to try to get that tried out one of these days. I'll go outside and do it myself. Then I can't be "busted" for teaching.
I'm a bit bummed about my weight. I've been fussing at myself all week. I didn't eat cleanly this week--last night we had nachos for dinner. Tony and I have gone from each of us eating a plate a piece to sharing one plate, and he eats the lion's share. Unfortunately, the chips have salt in them and any time you even HINT at salt near me, my body acts like it's the Sahara Desert. I seriously retain water. I gained a half pound overnight, despite 90 ounces of water! Ugh. Not my favorite thing to see. Need to work on that. I either can't eat chips (boo, hiss) or I need to up my water. That'll thrill people at work no end...they already make rude comments about me leaving my desk. Just what I don't need! DB has already reminded me once this week that I need to keep up with the water. He told me the other day that he'd drunk 2 litres of water by the time I'd barely finished 30 ounces. I've got to work on that as a goal too.
Maybe I need to figure out how to create an interactive chart to put up on my blog so that people can follow along when I'm drinking water and they can nag at me (nicely, of course) until I drink more.
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Ch-ch-changes...
Lots of changes going on at the dojang. I'm sure that mentioning that we have to do a half mile run before the next test is not breaking any rules. I must say, I'm "allergic to running". Mr. M told me that he didn't care, I'd be running anyway. I have to say "ewwww!" I am vehemently NOT a fan of running! I leave that to the people who are lots lighter than me, the ones who enjoy it! Ah well. I'll get used to that, I suppose.
He told us a lot of things during class. I can't repeat it because he was very upset that there are huge rumors flying around about him, the school, etc. He talked to the CIT class and explained a few things to us. I've still got unanswered questions and I'm still performing my own reconnaissance on the other schools. I am going to go visit USA Martial Arts tonight and see my friend EG. Then I'm going to run down to the Y if I have the time (and feel so inclined) to check them out. I'm not 100% sure I'm going to stay where I am. I like Mr. M and the people there, but I'm not pleased by all the changes and I feel like maybe I need to look at moving on. I feel under appreciated when I'm there. I feel like some of them see me and just think, "Oh. It's YOU." I am probably viewing it through my own dissatisfaction and that's probably why I feel like that. (Time for the positive self-talk again!)
In other news...I stepped on that ugly scale this morning and was up 2 pounds from yesterday. I KNOW I worked out and didn't drink enough water, PLUS I ate enough sodium in the rice and beans the hubby made for dinner to cause me to retain water in case of a drought! The rule of thumb has to be "more water." "More water." "MORE WATER." If I don't drink enough, I'll puff up.
I'm very sensitive to salt. To make matters worse, I took a couple of Alleve today and that's got sodium in it too! Get the firehose handy!!
Lunch is almost over. I have a product specialist swiping my manuals so I need to go help him.
He told us a lot of things during class. I can't repeat it because he was very upset that there are huge rumors flying around about him, the school, etc. He talked to the CIT class and explained a few things to us. I've still got unanswered questions and I'm still performing my own reconnaissance on the other schools. I am going to go visit USA Martial Arts tonight and see my friend EG. Then I'm going to run down to the Y if I have the time (and feel so inclined) to check them out. I'm not 100% sure I'm going to stay where I am. I like Mr. M and the people there, but I'm not pleased by all the changes and I feel like maybe I need to look at moving on. I feel under appreciated when I'm there. I feel like some of them see me and just think, "Oh. It's YOU." I am probably viewing it through my own dissatisfaction and that's probably why I feel like that. (Time for the positive self-talk again!)
In other news...I stepped on that ugly scale this morning and was up 2 pounds from yesterday. I KNOW I worked out and didn't drink enough water, PLUS I ate enough sodium in the rice and beans the hubby made for dinner to cause me to retain water in case of a drought! The rule of thumb has to be "more water." "More water." "MORE WATER." If I don't drink enough, I'll puff up.
I'm very sensitive to salt. To make matters worse, I took a couple of Alleve today and that's got sodium in it too! Get the firehose handy!!
Lunch is almost over. I have a product specialist swiping my manuals so I need to go help him.
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