1 day!

There is only one day left before the day of the black belt test. I think I'm ready. I know I'll make mistakes but if I cover, maybe nobody will notice. LOL!!
I'm excited. It's been a long time in coming but I've been working hard and that is paying off. I was paid a compliment on Monday. I was told that my technique was good. I am happy to hear that. I need to make sure it stays good!!
We have a dress rehearsal tonight for the belt test. Once that's over, then it's home and time to relax. I've taken the day off tomorrow so hopefully I'll be able to be mellow and not stress out. I'm going to make sure that I'm focused by not hyper focused on the test. It'll be a lot of fun.

We have a banquet on the 23rd to celebrate the belting. It'll be a lot of fun but I haven't got a CLUE how what to wear!! It's required for the women to wear dresses. Hmmm. Now I've got to decide what to wear in a hurry.

This is just peachy...

The Black Belt test is in ***4*** days and I'm now suffering from an obnoxiously massive sinus/allergy thing! I had a sore throat last week for a couple of days and by Friday night, it had hit me in the sinuses. My one friend in South Carolina says I sound like I have my head in a bucket. LOL! I kind of feel that way!

We had a pretty good turn out for the Back to School Bash. Mr. Brooks was the high point of the day--everyone wanted to see him jump his car. He did a GREAT job of it too. I think he's going to be testing on Friday night too. I'm not sure. I know Mr. Todd can't test because he broke his toe. OUCH!!!

My co-workers are trying to convince me to take off half a day on Thursday. I'm now thinking about it. It may do me some good to take off, if for no other reason than I'm wired already and the test isn't until FRIDAY. I may talk to Mr. M tonight and see what HE thinks. Tony too.

Oh blank! I just got "attacked" by a cricket--it jumped over the wall at me and hit my arm. Naturally, I screamed! I'm sorry if it disrupted the class, but bugs are NOT my strong suit!! BRRR!! I can't stand bugs!!

From the Back to School Bash

7 more days

Do you think I'm slightly obsessed by my upcoming belt test? I've run through a couple of forms today at work, that's how obsessed I am!! LOL! I'm ready for it, I tell you that! I'd like to get it done TODAY! I'm not ready for it but...that would be the thing for me.

I had to send an email to Miss A's PE teacher. I told her that I wasn't fighting her battles, but that she's been the brunt of some verbal abuse (and sock throwing) in the locker room. Junior High girls are MEAN! First they told her that she "dresses weird" because she doesn't wear high fashion clothes. I'm NOT dressing her up as a BS Wanna Be. I'm sorry, but that isn't gonna fly. I'd much rather see her wearing jeans and tee shirts. If the other girls don't like it, too flipping bad! They have no right to call her names...well, yeah, I guess they do, but...I don't want her to have that stigma. If the coach can't get the girls under control, Miss A is going to have to bite her tongue a lot. I just can't stand that they're treating her like they are. I wish I could do something but I had a few people at work jump up and tell me to let her fight her own battles.
I HOPE that I've done some good for her.

Lunch is over for me so I have to go answer the phones again. The fun never ends.

Pretest is over

I've finished my pretesting so I'm ready for next Friday. He looked at my list of breaks and said that he thought I may have an issue with the Axe kick. An Axe kick is where you raise your leg up over a board, then bring it down sharply and go through the board with your heel first. A knife hand break is where you break a board with the 'blade' of your hand (that's the outside part of your hand). I am perfectly capable of doing both of those breaks. I have all the confidence in the world that I WILL make my breaks.

Mr. M told me last night that I need to *believe* that I am capable of doing my forms. I have an assignment for the next several days--I'm supposed to look at myself in the mirror and tell myself, "I am a GREAT martial artist!" I started out by telling my cat this morning that I was a great martial artist. He was not impressed.

School picture

I am on a roll today with the posts! I have posted more today than I normally do. Must be just because I've been at lunch.
Anyway...here are some pictures because I don't share very often.

9 days

The test is only 9 days away. Today I have to decide what I'm going to break boards with and then write it on an index card. I have to give my instructor my index card tonight when I pre-test on my forms. I think I'm going to do a front snap kick, elbow break, an axe kick and a side kick. I'm THINKING about a ridge hand break as well. Either that or an inverted knife hand. I have to find out if it's allowed. I just used my boss as a guinea pig for an inverted knife chop. Hmmmm.
I think I'll just send a quick email to Mr. M and ask him if those are okay. I think I'll do the front snap kick last as it's most impressive after all the others. We shall see. I'm gonna be sooo tired...

Aidan is working my last nerve. I love him dearly, but...Yesterday I got called to pick him up from school early. He apparently provoked another kid into spitting on him by calling him names. The other child is in Ms. Beaver's class and from what Aidan told me, other kids were calling him "Beaver". Aidan jumped right in but carried it too far. He and the other child don't like each other anyway, so when he poked the guy in the chest, he retaliated by spitting at him.
Okay, so that earned him a "lonely lunch". THEN...I found out that he also spelled out a word that begins with sixth letter of the alphabet. WHERE he picked it up, *I* have no clue! He SAYS he saw it on the Internet, on a website that was "Sonic vs. Mario". My best friend hasn't heard of that and she asked her 17 year old son about it. I don't allow him to watch movies or television shows that are higher than TV-G. Sometimes PG (as in Harry Potter) but it's all dependent on what I think he can handle.
Anyway, the language was the last straw. The school called me and told me to pick him up yesterday, so I left work early and he left school early. I introduced him to a bar of Zest soap for the word. He calmly repeated the word to me and told me it was "bad word number eight." I was shocked. I try to keep my language under control at home. I know that children are great parrots and can repeat *anything* you don't want them to say.

And, poor Amanda is getting left behind in the shuffle because her brother's acting up. I now have to get with her and give her a lot more attention because I don't want her to suffer for his behavior. I found out today that she has 12 assignments due this week. She's already lost out on one of them. She took a 0 on it because it wasn't turned in. I don't know about the rest of her assignments. That's something we're going to work on today. I'll get her started on that when she gets home from school and again when she gets home from Martial Arts.

Right now I'm feeling like I'm failing at being a mom. I don't want either of my kids to fail and to that end, I have to work harder at being there for them. I just don't know how to get it into the little boy's head that school is not a big joke. His teachers all said that he's very smart but he's learning to manipulate the system. I hope that the mouthful of soap helped to enforce that I want him to THINK about his behavior.
With Amanda, I know that she's also very smart and that she can do the work, but she's got to have an example of organization laid out in front of her. I want her to be a very successful 7th grader.

12 days away

The Black Belt test is only 12 days away. Am I ready? That's debatable. I know my forms and as long as I do NOT look at the kids around me and just go with what I know (including getting lots of practice on Nahainchi Cho Dan this week so that my transitions are proper!!!), I should be okay. I've got to review my one steps, but that's not that much of a problem. I only need to know 1-12 on those. We have sparring AND we have the dreaded Ho Sin Sul (self defense!). I am NOT too comfortable with the Ho Sin Sul, but I'll deal with it. I've got this week and most of next week to practice. I really don't want to spar. I have this horrible habit of laughing and giggling like a fool whenever I start sparring with someone. That has GOT to stop! I'll feel like an idiot in my sparring gear (first time I've worn it!)
We haven't been practicing the bong forms, so I won't be doing that at the test. Mr. M is going to have us do technique (for an hour!!!), 100 jumping jacks (yuuuuuuck!!!) and a minute's worth of push ups. I can do one minute of pushups! I did 38 of them in a minute today. I know, it's a pitiful number but...Mr. M says that for my age, it's acceptable. If I push it, I can build up on that number before the test.
When we did the jumping jacks in class, we all counted up to 50, then he had us stop and start again. We counted 1-9 and everyone yelled 10, then up, with everyone joining in on the even numbers (10, 20, 30, 40, 50). It looks good, sounds good and it's going to be that way. He said that when the counting stops, you stop. Period. Don't keep jumping. Hey, I'm all for that!!

We went over some basic technique. I'm standing in between two kids and there will be another taller young man right behind me. I have to make absolutely sure I do NOT kick that kid in front of me in the back! It won't be a good thing to do. LOL!!

I pre-test on Wednesday. Have to know all of my forms, my one steps and my Ho Sin Sul. This is to make sure that I really WILL be ready. Mr. M tells me he's not worried about me, but *I* am worried about me! I shouldn't be, but I am. I've had dreams where Kwan Jang Nim St. James has been grading me, looking at my forms and technique and then stops the test to ask WHY I'm in the test! I realize that he won't do that, but it was a dream.

I'm pre-testing on Wednesday. My partner is a young lady named Holly. She'll come in and pre-test with me on my Ho Sin Sul and one steps. Once we've done those, he'll let us know if we're definitely testing on the 21st. If we can get past the pre-test, it'll be a downhill slide. I have to remember to take myself off to the black belt class on Thursday because it was a good thing to go to. I may start adding that into my regime. I have to be up at the school on Thursday for the Young Warriors class so I may as well just stay to work on the black belt class as well.

Thursday again

Well, it's Thursday! It's getting closer to the end of the week! I'm off work tomorrow and that should be interesting. I'm going to be meeting with my son's teacher and the SST/SSI team at school. When he was in Kindergarten, his teacher organized an "Student Success Initiative/Student Success Team" for him at the end of the year. His teacher (2nd grade now) is seeing that he needs something extra to help him succeed, so we're meeting with them to determine what we can do to help him. I hope it will make this year as good as last year. He had a pretty good year last year but I believe it was because the SST was organized at the end of the year and was put into place at the beginning of school for last year. I know they had him in Speech and other things. In fact, I found out about the speech classes quite by accident. It was a comment he made about it that made me realize they'd done it.

We will hopefully get him settled into school and working to be a happy second grader who will be able to progress to third without issue. I am not thrilled about the idea of medicating him. I promised my martial arts instructor that I'd keep that as a possibility in my mind. Tony's more anti-medication than I am. I'm just a bit less determined to say "he's just a boy". He may need the meds and IF he does, okay, fine. We'll get him evaluated first and see how it goes from there. I know that I'm responsible for a bit of his behavior--I have a tendency to spoil him. He's not been seriously punished for a lot of things. I have let him get away with a lot of things his sister hasn't gotten away with. Some of that could be because (and probably IS) because he's my youngest, he's the boy of the family and he's my last child. Need to change me so that he behaves better.

Tomorrow we meet at 9:00. I'm guessing the meeting will last about an hour. Hopefully we'll come up with a viable course of action. I like the teachers who are on his "team" so far--his own teacher, the fourth grade teacher my daughter had and the school counselor. I am ambivalent toward the principal but that's just ME. I had a few too many dealings with her because of his behavior in kindergarten. All the more reason to have this meeting. She may be a bit different this year. We shall see.

Three Wednesdays to go.

Three Wednesdays to go (if you include today!) until the black belt test. I'm starting to think it'll be an enjoyable experience. I'm pretty good with most of my forms. I need to practice at home and I still need to whip out ANOTHER class this week to make up for the holiday we just had. You're supposed to attend a minimum of two classes a week. CIT doesn't count toward the actual class, so IF I get finished with Miss A's orthodontist early enough today, we'll go to the 6:00 class. Jason's in that class too, so it'll be fun. I'm still on the fence about it.
I'm definitely going to the Black Belt class tomorrow night at 7:00. I can since I'm CIT.
I haven't been behaving with WW. I didn't go to the meeting on Saturday. Instead, I went and goofed off for a couple of hours with my friend DB. We practiced forms--ALL the forms! I think I'm really MUCH better on my stances now than I was leading up to Saturday. We shall see.

My weight was 202 at the lowest on Saturday. It went up to 203.5, then to 203 and has stayed pretty steadily during the week at 203. I'm not complaining. Yes, I know that weighing daily isn't a good thing but it helps me see where I need improvement. I don't think I'm going to worry about my weight unless it goes up more than this one pound gain. I have every confidence it'll keep going down. I have literally 3 weeks to go before I test and I'm sure that I will be able to get to 200 and keep it there leading up to the test.

This looks wicked cool!!

Sunday's cleaning frenzy?!

I went into a cleaning frenzy today. I don't know why, other than the fact that I had to clean up the floor in front of the television. We're having AT&T come in to install cable. (We caved in. We'd have had to pay $250.00 for the satellite dish we WERE going to get as part of our "security deposit". I'm so NOT happy about that! Oh well.)
While I was cleaning up in front of the television, I decided that I didn't need some old magazines that were over in a pile by the couch, so off to the trash they went. Then I asked Amanda if she minded if I tossed some of the stuff that was just laying around, things they're not playing with. We ditched old pencils, old pens, pictures that weren't useful, you name it. I found piles of mail on the table from I don't know HOW long ago--it was all junk. Old credit card offers, you name it. I shredded it. I ran through three bags in the shredder while I was at it. I'm a very happy person because I didn't let sentimentality get to me. I just jumped in feet first and shredded things.

I feel a super sense of accomplishment right now. I have been cleaning and changing the way the house looks. My next step is to go back to the garage and see what's down there, then ruthlessly toss things out there as well. I'll start boxing up books that I'm not currently reading and store them in the garage also. The better organized we are, the easier our move will be when our lease is up.

Counting down

Musings and general ramblings

I finally finished my black belt essay!! I finished it yesterday during lunch and one of my co-workers proofed it for me. She found a few mistakes, corrected redundant words and sent it to me. It's DONE!! I have to turn in the rough draft on Saturday, then it's clear until the 8th of September.

My mother made the mistake of having my grandmother call me and tell me to "come visit her". Um, no. I'm a mule. I don't appreciate my mother using my grandmother like that! I already don't get along with my mother--there's a long, sordid story there. The sad thing is, I told her months ago that I would NOT be visiting until she finally dragged her butt out here to see MY family. My family is a family of FOUR. There's my hubby, my daughter, my SON and me. It's not my daughter and me. It's FOUR of us. My mother has a seriously mental block about my son, so she won't even talk to him. I had the kids call and wish her a Happy Birthday last year. She talked to my daughter and ignored my son. My daughter's now asking those really rough questions ("Why does Grandma ignore Aidan?"). It's a hard thing to answer. I just tell her that I'm not sure. We'll have to ask her some time. Of course, I'm avoiding all issues because I don't go to my mother's house. That's a huge bone of contention for us too...we have to go to her house all the time. She refuses to come to our house. We think it's because we're in an apartment. There's nothing wrong with the apartment but she sees it differently. I'm sending her an invitation to the black belt test. She won't attend. I know she won't. She doesn't understand the pull martial arts has on me. She doesn't understand the discipline it takes to learn the art, to put the time into practicing it (and sneaking in time at work counts too! LOL!!).

Sunday

Ahh, Sunday. It's a day to relax. I had my Black Belt Prep class yesterday for two hours. I have to say, I popped out one of my absolute BEST round-house kicks with my left leg EVER yesterday! My left leg is not my best kicking leg. I have more power and strength on my right side for some silly reason. Well, he had us kicking pads. We had to stand exactly in front of the person holding the pad, raise our knees, then turn our hips over and kick. It was all very controlled, but I could definitely see a HUGE difference over just throwing my leg out there. Now if I can just do this during the test! LOL!! I will. I know I will. Control is the name of the game. I'm learning it.

Here's a bit of amusement for you...out of this black belt class, there are only FOUR girls/women. Two of them already have their black belts and only one is an adult. I find that amusing. I think we'll have a rather large group when we test as there are only around 15 CDB's and then we have the three or four Black Belts who are testing or recertifying for third Dan. I think some of the newest Cho Dan Bo's will be in the test too. Should be fun. It's only 39 days away now!

The kids are down at one of Tony's cousins' house this weekend. They left Friday night. The house is just quieter than quiet with them gone. I miss them. It's nice to not have them stomping and scuffing around on the floor, but man is it QUIET!! I had to turn on a CD to listen to because of it.

I finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Friday night. It was GOOD! I was surprised by the ending, but that's probably what Rowling wanted when she wrote the book. I would recommend it to anyone! Really, I would. I truly enjoyed the series and am going to re-read it at some point.

Not a whole lot is planned for today. I'm currently downloading mail and planning on what I can do to surprise Tony when he gets home from work. I think I'll just go in and make something he likes for dinner. I have a recipe I call "Hubby's Favorite" that uses hamburger (browned) with tomato sauce and elbows, topped with cheese and baked until the cheese is all melty. That's probably his dinner tonight. Then he can take it for lunch tomorrow too. IF it lasts that long. He likes it a lot, so it could disappear rather quickly. We shall see.

Well, the washer has stopped, so I need to do a little maintenance in that area. I may hang some clothes out on on the back porch on hangars. It's hot enough that they'll dry very quickly!! LOL!!

CIT Tuesday

I had CIT tonight. We did a drill where we broke into teams and "taught a white belt class". It's intimidating when you're standing up there in front of a bunch of black belts who are pretending to be white belts. We got a lot of good criticism from those 'classes'. I jumped up and took control of my "class" but not once did I call them by name, nor did I praise them or explain to them what I wanted to do. I did manage to tell my 'class' what I wanted them to do, but need to improve my delivery. These things I can do. It was very good to get this feedback from my peers. I appreciate it.

We talked about what makes a successful instructor. That was pretty cool.

Successful instructors (and the Dali Lama, the Pope, the President , CEO's of large and small corporations) share these traits:

1. Persistence: NEVER GIVE UP!
2. Avid Goal Setters: Set goals that you need to achieve in order to succeed.
3. Ask Quality Questions: talk to them. This can tie in how their day has been and can help the instructor teach, for example, if the parents say that the child/ren/student has been, for example, fighting with siblings.
4. LISTEN: Listen to what your students and their parents, other people, teachers are saying.
5. Are PASSIONATE about what they do. You teach better if you're passionate about your subject matter.
6. Are ENTHUSIASTIC about what they do. Enthusiasm is contagious.
7. Take Responsibility for their results: Don't blame someone else for something that is unsuccessful--don't blame competition, etc.
8. Work Hard. Be committed, attend classes, teach classes, make phone calls to white or yellow belts.
9. Keep in touch with their students (follow up with phone calls, etc)
10. Show Value (ask yourself, what can I do for my student/co-worker/etc)

I think it was an eye opener tonight. He gave us an assignment, which ties in to our other discussion, which was about Self Image. Our assignment is to remind ourselves that anything we can conceive of and believe in, we can achieve.
That's what I'm off to do.

Another loss!

I went to WW for the first time in almost a month and found that I've managed to pull off a two pound loss. Not too bad, considering last Sunday I went totally nuts and ate 42 points! Today hasn't been that bad. I managed to eat my 25 points I'm allowed and not go over. I also ate quite a bit of vegetables, so I'm a very happy person! I've been determined to make my second 10% goal, which I set for myself when I hit that first 10%. When I hit 197, I will hit my second 10%. I'm only about 7 pounds away from that right now. My total loss is 37.4 pounds. I will take it! I am very pleased with it, despite my seeming failures at times.
I'm not overly happy that I lose weight, then gain it...but I'm looking back at my journals and am using that as a base. The biggest thing I think that has helped me is that I'm drinking more water at work and not using the excuse that "we have calls holding and I can't go to the ladies..." as an excuse anymore. If I have to go, I go. Period. End of statement.
I have noticed a disturbing trend though. When I lose "big" (for me, it's 2-5 pounds), then I'll turn right around and gain it back by not eating right or not drinking water. I'm tired of that trend. I WILL break it! I've been on plan for about a year now and have managed to lose close to 40 pounds. The month of August is going to be a very tough month for me with my martial arts training, but...I'm going to make sure I lose at least 3 pounds this month. I'm taking my loss and adding to it.

Transformation

September 21st is a red, or should I say, a black letter day. That's the day I test for my first Dan in Tang Soo Do.
With the test rapidly approaching. I've stopped telling myself "I can't"...I did that about 3 years when I first stepped foot into Unlimited Success Martial Arts. Since then, I feel that I've transformed myself into something a lot different. Instead of "I can't...", now it's "I Can..."

I'm a totally different person than I was. Back then, I followed unhesitantly and did what I was told without questioning things. I tend to not be as much of a follower anymore. I wouldn't say I'm egotistical, but I feel that my confidence level has improved greatly since I started these clases. Back in 2004, I would never have thought it possible that I could break a board with my hand or foot, much less perform rolls and such. Now I can. I enjoy it.
There's a certain thrill there when I break a board because I know that *I* did it. Just ME.

I have made some really wonderful friends who I consider absolutely my BEST friends and feel honored that they think enough of me to attend my test. One of my best friends from USMA is someone I can confide in about any number of things. He listens and offers advice. You'd think we were related in the way we natter on and on at each other. We pick at each other, but are genuinely happy for each other's successes. He'll be attending the test in September alongside those of us who are testing for our first Dan. It'll be fun. I'm a little intimidated by the fact that the head of our Federation will be there, but at the same time, I'm not going to worry about HIM. I'm going to worry about ME. I have to make sure that I'm ready for this test.

"How much or how little you are prepared to give of yourself will determine how far up the success ladder you travel."

Mark your calendars now, if you're attending. September 21st. It's a new start. I'm going to be there and I'll be proud to be announced as one of the newest black belts from USMA.

CDB2

I earned it last night, DESPITE totally blowing Bassai!! Oh well! I did the best I could do. I spent my Ho Sin Sul (self defense--hip throws) time coaching my partner on HOW to do the throws. I didn't get to throw her. Oh well. I fell nicely!!

Today's been a fairly uneventful day. The kids had karate this morning. I don't usually attend the Saturday classes. My Saturday classes start NEXT Saturday. Hopefully I won't have to work that day! I'd MUCH rather spend two hours in Martial Arts as opposed to 4 hours at work, but...work must take precedence since it pays the bills! Ah well.

Beyond that, not much else is going on. The usual Saturday things. I spent a few minutes texting with a friend and didn't even know who it was until she gave me a HUGE hint (her name, LOL!!). That was funny. Then she called me as I was trying to tell her her phone number was different from what I had in my address book. Scary. LOL!!

Tony's read Harry Potter and the Ghastly Hallows. I'm reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. All I can say is "WOW"!!! He finished it today. Now if I can finish Order of the Phoenix, I can goi see the movie. I have to read Half Blood Prince next, then I'll be able to start on Ghastly Hallows. I hope to have finished at least Order and Half by next Saturday. I may or may not finish them, but it's worth a try.

Back to back classes

I took back to back classes last night. I went to martial arts with the kids and worked out in their class, then went to my own class and worked out again. We're doing mock testing this week to get ready for our belt test next week. The kids are doing pretty well, but I won't put my blinders on and say they're perfect. I know better. Amanda's picking up the form pretty well! She does well and pays attention in class. I'm challenging her daily to give more. I told her that if she gives 100%, the next time she needs to give 110% or 120%. So far it's working. I would dearly LOVE to be able to watch her test but since she's testing at the same time I am next week, I'm going to miss it. I told Tony that he has to go in and watch the kids this time instead of me. Our little ham is going to do pretty well, I think. Since my friends, DB and S are running the test, it'll be okay. They'll get full effort out of all the kids.

We got our assignment for the black belt essay on Sunday. I've already decided that I'm going to use something I wrote on June 3rd as my essay. It needs to be fine-tuned, but I've already got over 500 words. The rough draft is due August 18th. I'm ready for it. September 15th is when my final draft and all the Federation paperwork/Dan application is due. Should be fun between now and then. Plus, starting the 4th, I'll have classes for two hours, so I'll go up to the dojang with the kids for their Saturday classes, then I'll stay for another two hours. The first class I have to miss, unfortunately, because of a silly mundane thing like WORK! Oh well. He already knows I'm going to miss and he's told me it's okay. Once is fine. More than once and you're going to have to make it up in a private lesson on a SUNDAY. I sure hope the other kids aren't going to goof off and skip classes.
I'm really excited. This is a big thing for me. One of my co-workers told me I was obsessed. I think he's right! LOL!

Countdown to the Black Belt is on...

I attended the CDB/BB class last night and am VERY glad I went. I think it'll be something I will be attending more often. The class is Tuesdays and Thursdays. Tuesday's at 6:00 and Thursday is at 7:00. I already have to be there at 6:15 for the Little Ninjas class, so it makes plenty of sense to just stay. I can do this. I'm really looking forward to it.
I was the oldest person in my class tonight. I can laugh about it because I'm 42 and I'm testing with a bunch of pre teen to teenagers. The next oldest people are my good friend S and our instructor. LOL!
We did a LOT of work on our forms tonight. We started with Basic Forms #1, 2 and 3, then moved on to Pyung An Cho Dan (which looks really incredible once you do it SLOWLY!). After that, he had us work on Sip Soo. I feel like I can practice and show off to the people at work---if I do that enough, I'll do it very well. We found out tonight that we're not going to do the entire form at the test--we're only going to do the first part of it. We'll hit the rest of it in the next testing cycle.

Now we're starting in on the hardest part of things. We're going to start in with MANDATORY 2 hour testing preparation classes. This will be on Saturdays starting August 4th. I'm looking forward to it. I also have to start researching my black belt essay. He's going to send out the topics to us and we'll have to turn in the rough draft on the 18th of August. The completed essay is due in September.
Black belt test has been bumped up to October 13th, one day after a dear friend's birthday. I wish I could fly her out here to see me test--that would be so awesome! I know she'll be thinking of me anyway, so I can be happy with that.

What's next? I'm already looking forward to the next part of my journey--I'm going for my second Dan. (pronounced DON). I'm not going to stop with just being a first Dan black belt. I'll be able to test again a year after the next test for me (my recert is April, 2008). I'm already planning ahead and I'm not there yet.

Word of mouth is important...

It has been quite a week! I actually saw 6 people logged in today at work which was amazing! Of course, *I* left early today (and didn't say "BOO!" to anyone when I left!!), so they were down to 5 people for 30 minutes, IF someone stayed on the phones today. It was incredibly busy! I haven't figured out why it's been so busy unless it's because people were off for the holiday last week.

There's a thunderstorm going on outside my window right now. We're still under a flash flood watch. I'm very glad we're up on the second floor right now! It may be absolute HELL when the people upstairs stomp around up there, but at least I know I'm not going to float away any time soon!

I read a blog tonight that made me want to reach through the wires and give her a HUGE HUG! She's had some pretty serious things going on in her life and has gotten crap for care! I think that's pure BS in caps!! I don't care WHO you are...you can be an Amazon or a Pygmy. You can be a Rubenesque person or someone who can be blown away by a stiff breeze. It shouldn't matter HOW you look. What should matter is that you're treated LIKE A HUMAN BEING!! I
wonder how the people who we pay for caring for our needs--mechanics, shop-keepers, doctors, lawyers, etc--can get away with poor treatment of their clients? If we don't pay you for your services, you don't get to keep your doors open. Mechanics rely on word of mouth, among other things. Shopkeepers are responsible for having our business. We buy their products or they don't stay open. If you don't provide services/products equally to all people, how are you going to stay in business? If you're a rude shopkeeper, people won't come in to your store and you can forget staying open. If you're any other type of professional and you aren't empathetic, why the hell are you in your chosen profession then?

I'm on a tear! Whoa! I guess I'm fairly pissed about the way this poor lady has been treated. Her biggest "crime"? She's working on losing weight, as are all of us. How is that a "crime"??? Oh it makes me livid, reading her story. I haven't gotten her permission to tell her story, but I wanted to post here that I support her 100%!! I think that she's getting the short end of the stick and all I want to do is to go scream at people she has to deal with!!!

Doing a Happy Dance here!

I am in an incredibly GREAT MOOD this morning!!! I have been back from WW for about an hour and am getting a chance to share my good news!!
I didn't go to w/i last week or the week before. Last week we had company leaving on Saturday morning, so I didn't go. The week before, I was afraid of gaining and didn't go because, well, I just didn't. Today, I weighed on my scale at home and it showed me at 206. That was a real happy number for me, so I thought about it and finally decided at 7:00 a.m. that I would go to WW. I went, got on their scale and it weighed me at 206.2. Alright!! Our scales are within ounces! I am so happy!! I've lost 35.4 pounds now! No, it's not HUGE losses, but it's losses!!! I am so doing a happy dance right now!! It's made my day!!
I've actually got to fly--I'm meeting a couple of people down at the fitness center to practice our forms and things and I need to get my uniform on. I haven't practiced for a week, so this will be fun.

Something fun!

This is just a little something fun I lifted from a friend's 360 blog. I enjoyed it!!

Your Gemstone is Emerald

Balanced, liberated, and peaceful. You bring luck into any situation.

What Gemstone Are You?

Sunday mix of things...

Weigh in first...last week, I weighed in at 208.5 at home. I didn't make it to W/I because I got up too late. The next morning, I weighed in at 207. Talk about shock! Unfortunately, it went back up to 210 on Wednesday, but it was back to 209.5 yesterday. Are you confused yet? Well, today...it was 207. I'm fluctuating right around the 208-210 range. I'm pretty happy with myself.
I didn't go to weigh in yesterday either--we had company from out of town who was leaving in the morning. She'd been here with her boys since Thursday afternoon. We enjoyed ourselves while she was here. They live in Idaho but had been visiting her parents for the month of June.
We've not done too much else this weekend. I went out shopping with a friend from Martial Arts and visited a wonderful kitchen store called Le Gourmet Chef. I picked up some Stonewall Kitchen mixes...things I've wanted to try but hadn't been able to buy from their catalog just yet. This way too, I find out if I liked it. We had the cinnamon swirl quick bread this morning. I calculated it at 4 points since I couldn't find anything to match it with. Not too bad.
For lunch, we took the kids to On The Border and I found out that they have a wonderful (MOST WONDERFUL!!) grilled salmon!! Needless to say, that was my lunch and probably dinner too. I'm not very hungry. A bit thirsty, despite having somewhere around 3 1/2 glasses of water with lunch. I didn't eat the rice either--it wasn't appealing to me. I wanted the salmon and the vegetables. I'm in a vegetable mood today. Last night, hubby and I sat down and for a late-night snack, we had cucumbers. Cucumbers and The Sopranos. Definitely a weird combination. It worked for us.

This weekend was also the Kodanja in Jackson's Gap, Alabama. i really wanted to be there--it would have been a wonderful experience. It just wasn't in my cards this time around...I'll be in much better shape next year anyway. That's my thought. I can't wait to hear from everyone who went how it was. I am envious of them! Hopefully I'll be able to go next year.

Personality Traits

Personality Traits I'm scheduled to take a customer service training class on July 21st and we've been given an assignment to determine how well we listen and what the different types of people are. They describe them as "DISC". It's a personality assessment that was created by William Moulton Marston. I've identified myself as an "I C". My manager is most definitely a "D". I don't have the definitions here, other than a "D" is demanding, brusque, doesn't like chit-chat. An "I" wants to be popular, likes to be praised for the job they do. Wait! I just found it on Wikipedia... The tests classify four aspects of personality by testing a person's preferences in word associations (compare with Myers-Briggs Type Indicator). DISC is an acronym for: Dominance - relating to control, power and assertiveness Influence - relating to social situations and communication Steadiness (submission in Marston's time)- relating to patience, persistence, and thoughtfulness Conscientiousness (or caution, compliance in Marston's time) - relating to structure and organization These four dimensions can be grouped in a grid with D and I sharing the top row and representing extroverted aspects of the personality, and C and S below representing introverted aspects. D and C then share the left column and represent task-focused aspects, and I and S share the right column and represent social aspects. In this matrix, the horizontal dimension represents a factor of "Assertive" or "Passive", while the vertical represents "Open" vs. "Guarded". Dominance: People who score high in the intensity of the 'D' styles factor are very active in dealing with problems and challenges, while low D scores are people who want to do more research before committing to a decision. High "D" people are described as demanding, forceful, egocentric, strong willed, driving, determined, ambitious, aggressive, and pioneering. Low D scores describe those who are conservative, low keyed, cooperative, calculating, undemanding, cautious, mild, agreeable, modest and peaceful. Influence: People with High I scores influence others through talking and activity and tend to be emotional. They are described as convincing, magnetic, political, enthusiastic, persuasive, warm, demonstrative, trusting, and optimistic. Those with Low I scores influence more by data and facts, and not with feelings. They are described as reflective, factual, calculating, skeptical, logical, suspicious, matter of fact, pessimistic, and critical. Steadiness:(Submission in Marston's time): People with High S styles scores want a steady pace, security, and don't like sudden change. Low S intensity scores are those who like change and variety. High S persons are calm, relaxed, patient, possessive, predictable, deliberate, stable, consistent, and tend to be unemotional and poker faced. People with Low S scores are described as restless, demonstrative, impatient, eager, or even impulsive. Conscientious: (Compliance in Marston's time): Persons with High C styles adhere to rules, regulations, and structure. They like to do quality work and do it right the first time. High C people are careful, cautious, exacting, neat, systematic, diplomatic, accurate, tactful. Those with Low C scores challenge the rules and want independence and are described as self-willed, stubborn, opinionated, unsystematic, arbitrary, and careless with details. A common general public misconception is that if one is described as having either a D, I, S, or C style that all people are simply categorized into one of four types. The 1970's work by Dr John Geier brought DISC into practical application with substantive research. The Geier research delineated the distinct differences of persons within the 4 factor styles with the advent of the Classical Pattern definitions. It was found that there are distinct differences between persons within each of the 4 style profiles. For example not all D's behave in the same way. The same is accurate for the other styles of behavior. In 1983, Dr. Sanford Kulkin, Ph.D., founded The Institute for Motivational Living, Inc., a training and publishing organization designed to help people communicate better and work together more effectively. As a licensed pastoral counselor, Sandy has trained thousands of pastors and counselors in the use of behavioral and consulting techniques. Because of his experience in behavioral understanding, he has become an internationally recognized expert in developing individual ownership of corporate goals through the use of DISC Assessments. Pretty interesting stuff. I think I rate as a "High I" and a mid line C. I also rate as an "S" too. Everyone has a little of everything in them. I find it interesting. How would you rate yourself?

Well...

I know how to avoid brownies, which are my downfall...if I bake them with pecans in them, I won't eat them. I just don't like nuts, so that makes them safe for me.
I had a request to make brownies today for the department, so I did. Little did they know that Betty Crocker makes a "Low-Fat" brownie mix, which I made using Enova (less is converted to fat--it's metabolized differently and more goes to energy) oil and Egg Beaters. It'll be healthier for them despite anything. LOL!! I haven't told them about it. YET.

Lessons learned

I think I've learned a valuable lesson. Drink LOTS of water and *never* get on the scale after a day of very low water drinking. I was up 1.5 pounds this morning. I KNOW it's from not drinking enough water. I'm supposed to be making every effort to drink more water. If I drink more this week, maybe I'll see a better loss. I'm back to working out heavy duty now. I can run again. There's a story behind that statement...I tore my left quad a few weeks ago and wasn't able to run. Last night I actually ran for the first time and it didn't hurt! I did lunges too. I can do that without pain now! YIPPEE! I also went out and walked with one of the girls from class on Tuesday. We walked about 2 1/2 miles. It was a good walk. It was hot still, but cooler than it would have been if we'd gone out during lunch. Now that it's full summer in Texas, we're not walking during lunch anymore. We'll wait until the weather cools down in September.

Sunday

No loss to report for yesterday. In fact, I *gained .2.* For the past month, I've been flirting with tenths of pounds. Have to figure out what to do to improve that number and lose what I need to lose! I pretty much knew it wasn't going to be a loss this week. I haven't been working really hard in classes and I haven't drunk enough water to do myself any good. Time to up it.
Mr. M gave all the kids in the school cards to give to their dads for Father's Day--it's for a free month of classes, so guess who signed up?? Yep--my hubby!! I found out yesterday when Mr. M told me he'd given Tony a uniform. I was like, "WHAT?!" He has repeatedly told me he wasn't interested, but because the KIDS asked, he agreed to try it. I don't know if he'll be interested beyond the first month, but we'll see. He'll at least get to a belting ceremony and have the opportunity to say yes or no after that.
Mr. M the Younger (Mr. M's oldest son) worked with Miss Mandy yesterday and taught her some one steps and Pyung an Cho Dan. Like I've said before, it seems like it's out of sync, but he's got a cycle he's working on. I found out that I need to know more of Sip Soo than I know. I THINK I can get myself up to the part where you "push" (looks like alligator hands) without anyone showing me. I watched Mr. M working with the Cho Dan Bo's and Black Belts yesterday. That's a cool looking form. We have a young man in the class who apparently broke his foot (or an ankle) but is wearing a boot. I was surprised, but he's determined to learn what he needs to learn. He does pretty much everything everyone else does!! He's someone I'm watching closely. He's a pretty inspirational young man.

The kids are in playing on the Play Station today instead of the Game Cube, which is a change. I put my foot down yesterday and took away the Game Cube from them--they were fighting over it, so they lost it. Amanda was going to a friend's house anyway, so I had Aidan just play Battleship with me. He's pretty good, although he did try to hug me a lot to peek at where my ships were! LOL!! After Battleship, we watched The Incredibles and then Cars. It was a great afternoon. No electronics. That made my day!! I would love to see the kids do more of that. We've told them that we never had the electronic toys that they have when we were growing up. We made forts out of blankets and pillows, we played Cowboys and Indians in our backyards and we were out running around up and down the block, or riding our bikes out there.
I wish sometimes that things were as simple as they were back then--I know that they wouldn't have the issues of obesity and other things to deal with, simply because they'd be super active. I've been reminded time and again that it's my job as the parent to ensure that they DO get the activity level they need in, so I'm going to encourage more of the running around outside. For Aidan, it's not a problem. I have him in Kids' Club during the day and they have a bunch of different things set up, like "The Dungeon" where the boys can play with dinosaurs and things (those are cool!). He goes outside and he swims on Wednesdays. Mandy's a bit harder as she's not in KC. She was in camp last week and had a blast. I think I'm going to look at Band Camp next. She'll need the extra practice and I'd love to have her get into that. Then we'll see what else I can schedule for her. If I was a stay at home mom, it would be easier--I could just kick her outside and say "go play" or "go ride your bike", but since I'm out of the house 8+ hours a day and have MA on Mondays and Wednesdays, it's a bit harder to do. She's got tomorrow with me and I'm off on the 28th and 29th to hang out with her too. The following week, they're stuck with me on Wednesday and Thursday. I'm already planning a picnic for those days. We'll go to the school and play on the playground.

Yesterday

Yesterday was pretty good, all things considered. I had a loss at weigh in of .8. I was actually surprised. I made the mistake of getting on the scale every single day last week and saw the scale go down, up, down, up, up, down and down. I wasn't expecting a huge loss--more like the .2 I'd been losing but hey! A loss is a loss and it's all the same to me.
The topic of the meeting was managing yourself. Our leader played "$10,000 Pyramid", WW style. We talked about things you count, things you measure and things you manage. Managing yourself means keeping up with your journaling, among other things. If you don't keep up with the journaling, you'll be tempted to think you've actually done better than you may actually have done. I know that I used my flex points last week and I DID calculate them in...but I didn't keep up my journal properly to know exactly how many points I used this past week. I'm actually keeping up with it today--trying to re-make the habit. One of my good friends has done WW and says that if she doesn't journal daily, it is much harder to eat healthy and make good choices. I have to remind myself constantly that I'm making lifestyle choices. One of the choices I'm making is to make sure I've given myself healthy food choices.

So, after WW I went home and celebrated a little. I had a cup of coffee and then took my son to his martial arts class at 10:00. He didn't want me to participate--he wanted me to watch him, so I got to be JUST a parent. Suited me! I did watch him very closely though...I was worried about him doing what we wanted him to do. He was fine. Since he's moved into the Beginner Basic class, he's working very hard at following directions. He's doing pretty well, all things considered! After his class, he and I walked down to Learning Express (it's a toy store with educational toys and other things). I got him his "sticky mosaic" he's been asking for and then got some things for his sister's birthday on Friday. After that, we walked back to the car and went home. I had a little bit of time to kill before going out to the CVS pharmacy event that our dojang was doing. We were invited down there to show support for the ALS Society thing they were hosting (there was a blood drive going on, among other things). We also handed out brochures and did some board breaking demonstrations. I was the only non black belt there. It was pretty cool. I got in on a picture with all four of the black belts who were there. I won't complain! LOL!!

Came home and spent the rest of the day doing NOTHING. Tony went out and got us dinner. The Great Outdoors (a sub shop) has WW friendly foods, so I had a salad and was very happy with that. It was a turkey chef salad and only cost me about 4 points. By the time I wrote everything I'd eaten down, I came out with 3 points left over. I also earned 2 activity points for walking with my hubby and for other things I'd done. I feel like I did well in working on my 28 a/p's for the week!

Halfway through the week

It's halfway through the week. Not too bad, so far. My manager is out of the country on vacation, so things are fairly quiet around here. It's been kind of busy off and on. I haven't had any major stresses this week, which makes me a happy person. I made up my mind to NOT carry the stress of work home with me. I decided while I was on vacation to turn over a new leaf, so I did.
Found out Monday night at the CIT class that we've got something going on at the CVS Pharmacy on Saturday for a couple of hours. It's probably a drive to get more people to sign up. My "boss lady" (my friend, Susan, who is my black belt team leader) says I can pick my shift--either 1-3 or 3-5. I'm going to be where she is so that I can take notes.
We also went over some leadership training. He recommended a book, The U.S. Army Leadership Field Manual for us, so I went ahead and ordered it yesterday. It's got a lot of information in it about leadership values. Mr. M has read it and recommends it, sooo...it's now going to be in my possession, as soon as Amazon ships it out and I receive it!!
I also gave myself permission to buy three CD's which are going to arrive with the book. One is The Renaissance Album by Windham Hill Artists, Thanksgiving by Winham Hill Artists and English Renaissance Music by John Bull. I wanted to listen to older music, hence the Renaissance music.

I've been taking a page from a friend's book, but instead of running, I walk. We go out at lunchtime and walk. It's been just DB and me, but one of my co-workers (from a different department) asked to go with us, so she's out walking with us too. She and I went out together yesterday--DB couldn't go because he was late getting to work yesterday. He's supposed to go today, so we'll see how that works.

Ramblings

This was written 6/3...

My mother made a comment yesterday to me about “I don’t know WHY you’d want to do that anyway” when I was attempting to talk to her about the fact that both my son and I are taking martial arts. Her comment made me defensive (usually a conversation with her will) but I calmly pointed out to her that I initially joined to lose weight. Over time I’ve fallen under the spell of martial arts. I can go into class on any given night and whether I’m having a great day or a lousy day, I’ll soon work hard enough to start feeling better. There is no competition there, other than what exists in my head. My instructors know how to ask for more and get it. They don’t belittle or make fun of me. They just provide gentle coaxing.

Why did I join martial arts? When did I join? Nearly three years ago, in 2004, my husband and I took our daughter in to Unlimited Success Martial Arts to see if it was something she wanted to do. Mr. McGee, the owner, took her in and led her through a class along with a young man. My daughter, then 9, felt awkward and didn’t want to do it, but I was intrigued. I asked him if he could take an out of shape and extremely overweight old person (meaning me) and put me through the paces. He said yes, and I attended a class that evening. I attended yet another class and was hooked. I came back and officially joined in September of 2004. Classes haven’t always been a bed of roses. It was extremely hard to convince myself to move, but I always had the motivation there. My instructors and classmates, many of whom I can now count as very dear friends, were always supportive and encouraging. Not once did I hear anything negative about my weight. Not once did I hear “you can’t do it unless you lose x-amount of weight.” Instead, I heard “You may have to modify the movements, but you CAN do it!” Classes were encouragement themselves. It was refreshing to come in after a long day at work and see people you knew, people like yourself who were there to learn. It made for a very fun and interesting class.

Soon I was earning belts—I advanced from white to yellow and then up from there. At some point, I stopped wearing sweat pants to class and started being able to fit into my uniform. That was a milestone as I knew I was accomplishing something. I started feeling less like I was just there for the humor factor. I haven’t felt like I’m the laughingstock of the classes anymore. It’s hard work but it’s definitely something that has caught me. I’ve come to realize that this is where I belong. It’s my outlet and I like that. The discipline and routine of class is something that I was needing and probably craved, although I didn’t realize it at the time. I’ve been working to improve myself.

People at work question me as to why I am taking martial arts as well. Is it for the self defense? No, probably not, although we do learn self defense techniques. Again, it’s mainly for the self-improvement I’ve seen. I find that I have more confidence now than I used to. There are people who doubt that I’m learning ‘self defense’. That’s fine. I’m not out to please them. I’m out to please myself. I’m out to prove to myself that this challenge is one that I’m up for.

I recently received my blue belt, putting me at Cho Dan Bo status. The biggest honor I found was when my instructor gave me HIS belt. At the belting, I got tears in my eyes and choked up as he explained the belt’s history. That was a very high honor to me. I want to be as good as my instructors. I think I’d like to say that I’ll be better, or I’ll strive to be better. For this, I have to keep learning. I would let myself down if I did anything else. I would also let down the people who have dedicated themselves to helping me improve myself.

Not once have I thought of quitting. Even when I was feeling the challenges and feeling like I wasn’t as good as everyone else, I still didn’t quit. I kept going. I will continue to keep going. My friends have stood behind me and are as encouraging as they can be. I’m not the best runner, I’m not the youngest person in class and I’m certainly the biggest, but…I can do it! I am a martial artist. I will not give up because this is something that calls to me. It’s a pull that I haven’t ever felt before. I’m trying to ingrain it into my life. I’m trying to live by our student creed. One line in particular reaches out to me…it says “I will practice self discipline in order to bring out the best in myself and in others.”

So why am I taking martial arts? I have developed a true love for the sport. I may not be involved in competitions, which is fine. I am drawn to it for the sheer fact that it’s something that makes me work hard and do my best. Every day is a competition to see how much I can improve myself. I can do it.

Random Sunday thoughts

Yesterday was a fun day. I went to WW and weighed in...minus point two, which isn't anything to sneeze at. For me, to have a loss for several weeks, that was a great thing.
I was given the "You make a difference" award yesterday by the member who received it last week. She said that I am always cheerful and upbeat, even on days when my losses aren't great. That brought tears to my eyes.

I sat down this morning and wrote for the first time in a long time. It was an essay on martial arts. It was inspired by, of all things, a conversation with my mother. I don't talk to her very often for at least two reasons who are very dear to me...my kids. (I don't get along with my mother and I won't hide that. She has a tendency to not acknowledge Aidan's existence at all.) Anyway, I'd mentioned that I was going to be testing for my black belt in October and got the response of "I don't know WHY you're doing that anyway!" I sat down this morning and wrote an essay on why I am taking martial arts. It was a small thing but I'm going to share it with a couple of people from class and see what they think. I may also send it to my instructor because I wanted him to see what's going on in my head. I haven't ever shared any of my writing like that before. I usually don't even get my thoughts on paper the way I want them to be. Today, I decided that I'm going to start writing more than I used to. I'm not claiming to be a grand author, but at least I'll have these thoughts on paper or on the computer. It's something that matters to me. There's something about writing, something that makes sense to me. I have a lot of thoughts in my head that I want to share. Writing, to me, helps me put thoughts together. I like to write. It's always been something I've dabbled with. If anyone wants to read it and offer critique, I'd love to hear it. I can forward it to you if you're interested, or I'll post it here. It's all up to you guys. If you want to see my random thoughts, please ask and I'll share.

Belt tests, graduations and a realization

Friday night was wonderful! It was really incredible to be able to see my son receive both his black belt as a Young Warrior and his new uniform, complete with ORANGE belt! He's not starting all over! He knows two of the basic forms, so that qualifies him to be promoted to orange! I'm so proud of him! He really has tried very, very hard in his classes! We'll see how things go now that he's graduated. I'll be going to his classes with him for a while as they'll be at 6:00 on Mondays and Wednesdays. This means that he can now stay at Kids' Club full time! Woo hoo! He'll love that! It'll give him time to get help with homework during the school year. I like that idea.
While the Young Warriors and Little Ninjas were being promoted, people started arriving for the test at 6:00. Mr. M had me round them up and herd them off to the small room. Of course, I raced out of there after rounding people up and went back to the big room so that I could see Aidan get his belt and his uniform.
We had something like 55-60 people there for the Beginner/Intermediate/Advanced test. I was testing with the other Cho Dan Bo's for our CDB1, then we had four people testing for Cho Dan Bo and everyone else was advancing. I had to cheer very loudly for three people who went from white to Yellow belts because they're in the Adult class and they all have been working VERY hard!
Board breaking. I tried three times to break a board with a front snap kick and just could NOT go through the board!! One of the dads came up to me afterwards and asked if my foot hurt. You can say that! It was hard trying to put the ball of my foot through a stubborn piece of wood! I even tried my elbow and just didn't get it! I finally wound up breaking a smaller, thinner piece of wood. I wanted to break the one I started out with but it wasn't in the stars last night. Oh well. I have all summer to practice for my black belt test and that WILL have the harder wood, I'm sure!!
This week we start our Summer schedule. I'll take Aidan to school, drop him off, pick him up after work, come home, go to class, watch him and then I'll get ready for MY class. Tony will pick him up from his classes while I'm in mine. It's possible that Amanda may join the classes too, but we'll see. Our school is family oriented. I would love to have my entire family involved but this is my obsession, not theirs. Aidan so far is the only one who is truly interested in it like I am. He's looking at it from a different perspective though. I originally joined these classes to lose weight and somewhere along the line, it hooked me and I've developed a true love for the sport. If you liken this to school, it's rather like going to college. By the time I get my black belt, it would be the equivalent of graduating college. Okay, maybe that's not the right thing to compare it to because I know that college is/was a lot harder than this is, but when you start out to do something that requires this commitment, it's pretty close.

Amanda and Tony went out to see Pirates of the Caribbean yesterday. I wanted to go but didn't. I got up at 5:30, got myself dressed and ready for WW. Skipped weighing in (I had a "get out of jail free card, basically), but attended the meeting. The meeting was worth it. I heard a lady in the meeting say that she'd just come back to meetings after falling off plan because she was getting seriously frustrated. Our leader sends cards and emails to encourage us, so that's a good motivator too. Mollie said that she came back and is working on not getting frustrated that the weight isn't magically melting off. Another member said the same thing and I realized that I'm not alone--I thought that my 31 pound loss in 9 months was a bit too slow, but...it's not!! It's actually fairly normal for some of us. This is something I need to keep in mind the next time I get irritated with myself about my perceived lack of progress. It may be a slow loss, but it means I'm more likely to keep it off than to put it back on.

Much has happened in a month

It's hard to believe it's been a month since I last blogged. Wow. I keep up with my 360 more than I do here. I need to remedy that.
Well, let's see...I'm working hard in martial arts to prove that I deserved the promotion to Cho Dan Bo. I'm learning a new form. It's called a "Bong" form--a "bong" is a staff. It's a neat looking form. It's just hard to learn it because there's a lot of twirling and whatnot involved in it.
I'm walking around with bruises on my ribs from where I've used my body to stop the forward momentum of the bong. I'm not complaining because I'm really enjoying it!
I'm also now training to become an instructor. I asked MY instructor if he'd consider me for leadership training and he said yes, so now I'm in training for that. He's starting an adult leader training class on May first. It'll be Monday night, so I'll be out for 2 hours on Monday and won't be home until well after 9:30. It'll be good. There will be some sales training involved in too. You have to be able to explain to someone who walks in what we're doing, what our mission is, etc. Mr. M may not always be available to talk to parents so the instructors need to be able to explain it to the parents who may ask. It's good to learn PR for that reason.

In the weight loss department, I'm now at 30 pounds lost. For almost a month after my belt test, I had *gained*, which really pissed me off. I know that there was a lot going on that could have contributed to it, but I still didn't like the gains. I went in yesterday and had *lost* 4.4 pounds, which thrilled me no end!
We had a lady there celebrating a loss of 10 pounds. She mentioned something that struck a note with me--it took her 14 weeks to lose 10 pounds. That's familiar because it's taken me 7 months to lose 30 pounds. It's not even 5 pounds a month. I won't complain because like she said yesterday, she knows she didn't put it on overnight and she knows it won't come off overnight. That was something I appreciated hearing. Yes, in my head I know it's better to lose slowly, and I know there will be "bumps", but it's frustrating as all hell to gain! I know that sometimes there will be gains, but I'd prefer more losses to gains. I'm working on correcting that. I've added MORE exercise to my former couch potato life...I now walk at lunch with a friend. We walk at least 2 miles a day. Sometimes it's not quite 2 miles, sometimes it's a tad bit over 2 miles. My walking buddy wants me to consider walking in The Half in November, so it's something I'm considering. 13.2 miles isn't that big a deal, especially not considering that I walk almost that much during the week. I'll keep you guys posted if I do it.

Great day for a test

It was a great day for a test. I went to WW for my usual meeting (excellent meeting, got to "bone up" on my forms by reading my book before the meeting started), then came home, posted a quick note to my Support Team and got ready for the test. I don't have very long hair anymore, but it's long enough to make me go nuts if it's on my neck. I pulled it up into a double ponytail, put tons of styling stuff in it to hold it in place, curled, crimped and relaxed. I read a little bit of my book, Size 12 is Not Fat by Megan Cabot and listened to music. One of my friends went to the dojang early, so I ran over there with Amanda. (My kids actually watched the test!!!! I was impressed with them for that!!)
I said hello to the people in the previous test who are in my adult class, gossiped and got a chance to run around and connect with people who were coming in for the test. My friend Beth came in after her Krav class and watched. She and Susan were there. I lined up near them, so I could look over and talk to them during quiet periods in the test.
We did Basic Form #2, Sa Dan, Bassai, Naihainchi Cho Dan and then we did our one steps. Instead of goofing up a simple form, I instead goofed up my one steps but...I didn't quit. I kept going. Nobody knew I'd goofed! Yay me!
We didn't do any sparring, but we DID break boards. My friend Beth held my board for me and I did an excellent front snap kick, hit the board and broke it on the first try. I think everyone pretty much broke on the first try.
We had our belting ceremony--my instructor belted the lower ranked belts first, then he did us. I'm no longer a first gup. I'm now officially a Cho Dan Bo. He gave a brief history of each belt as he tied it around our waists. My belt is extra special to me--he gave me a belt that is about 15 years old, faded but has history--it was HIS belt and my best male friend, DB's belt. That means a lot to me. He said he selected the belt for the recipient based on the history of the belt and the person who earned it. I broke out into tears when he tied that belt. I just couldn't help it. That belt means something to me. I will wear it with pride!!

Interesting

I haven't figured out why I double posted and now can't completely delete that old post.
Well, Okay, fine. Here's just some fluff.
We're watching Stargate SG-1. Good show. I heard there's going to be a Stargate Continum (spelling's wrong) sometime soon.

Recap of Weigh In

Yesterday was a good day for me. I lost 2.6 pounds and am back to -25.4 pounds *and* my 10% mini-goal. I may start setting little 10% goals because that seems to be my stumbling block. It took me over 5 months to get to the 10% goal. I don't know how long the second 10% is going to take but I'm thinking I'm going to work on that. Interestingly enough, I didn't eat all my points all week and I lost. Bernice wouldn't be too pleased with me for that. Last week she told me to eat all my points because I wasn't nourishing my body, but I just was NOT hungry most of the week. Today I've done pretty well with keeping within points. I think I've made better choices. I'm pretty happy about it. Now to maintain this all week long and generate another loss!

I have the test on Saturday for my blue belt. We'll be running classes like the test starting Monday. We'll run through practicing forms, one steps and sparring. Hopefully it'll all stick. I'm taking off Thursday and Friday for "mental health" days so that I can work on keeping myself unstressed and calm. I'm slowly but surely starting to get some Spring Cleaning done here too. I cleaned up Aidan's room yesterday--got rid of a HUGE bag of junk--displaced toys that were for someone 7 years younger, broken race track, etc. I also weeded out his clothes that were too small. I've discovered that my son has more shirts than I do!! He's set for the next I don't know how long!
Next up is Amanda's room. We think she got mad at me for tackling Aidan's room first today--she went into her room and put a sign on the door that said "no parents allowed--this means you Mom". I was NOT amused and told her so. That blew into a serious discussion. Tony says I was overly repetitive in asking questions and trying to hammer home a point. He says that he doesn't have any suggestions on how to do it better. Sheesh.
They (Tony and Amanda) were supposed to go to the Allen Philharmonic and he dragged his feet. He says he didn't want to go. I think he should have taken her--it would have been a good "date" for her. Uninterrupted "daddy time" without her brother butting in. Oh well. I guess I wonder why did I ask for them from Aidan's teacher if they were wasted?!! sigh. He's more interested in watching the stupid basketball games on television which he professes not to like to watch!!! I feel bad that she was going to get to go out and then he backed out on her. GRRRR!!!

I'm a slacker

I am such a slacker! My friend's out of town, so I've only walked ONE DAY this week! I took yesterday off because the weather looked ugly. I didn't go to boot camp last night. I had a terrified little boy who needed some mommy time because he was afraid of the storm we had last night. I took off today to get my hair cut because I wanted to be sure to get it done by next weekend. I was tired of looking like Cousin IT.
I have class tonight, so that's a good thing. It's not boot camp, but it's martial arts and I'm definitely going to be moving. I'll probably go out and walk a few laps around the quadrangle at the apartment complex when I get home so that I can say I walked today. I'm not 100% sure about that. After class, I'm usually pretty tired and ready to get on the Internet for a few minutes, checking mail and stuff.

I guess I can use this week as an experiment to see if my gain of last week is related to the extended working out I did last week. If I skip the lunchtime walks for the rest of this week (all two days of it!), and just do boot camp and martial arts, we'll see what the weight is. Of course, I'm trying to drink water too. I'm not drinking as much as I should. Yesterday I only drank 96 ounces. Today, I'm barely into my first 32 ounce cup. Not a good day for me so far.
I know that water's essential for things.

Ramping up for the belt test

Tonight was Tang Soo Do class. It was tough but well worth it. Next weekend is the belt test. I'm still in shock that I've been taking lessons since August of 2004 and am almost at the point of getting my Cho Dan Bo. For those of you who aren't familiar with my tradition of martial arts, Cho Dan Bo is a black belt candidate. I think I'm ready for it. My good friend (the one who's been making me go walking) has been helping me tweak my forms and get them into more presentable shape. There is one form called Ee-Dan, which I have managed to do properly. It looks so much better now and actually FEELS better as I'm executing it! I am really looking forward to it. I WANT to prove that I'm every bit as good as the people who have gone before me. I am following some really talented martial artists. I admire people who succeed at what they're good at. I didn't used to think I was good at anything, but I've really gotten to the point where I feel like I'm doing something I am good at. I've seen a LOT of improvement from where I was this time in 2004. I have not given up on this. I've pushed through a lot of self negativity. I told myself "I don't know if I can do this." but I'm doing it. I feel a strong sense of accomplishment. I still get down on myself at times for things-I know that it's no reflection on me, but I hate being last. Not everyone can be first and I'd do well to remember that.
Next week he'll run classes as if it was an actual test. This means that I have to settle down and work hard because I want to make sure I'm ready for that test!! I will be ready! Like I said, I have some really talented people whose footsteps I'm following in. I don't want to let them down.

Yesterday's weigh in

Yesterday's weigh in was not what I had hoped for. I gained 2.6 pounds this past week. I don't know if it was from the exercise I've been doing or what, but...it's annoying. I've been exercising every day--one of my good friends started me in on walking at lunch time. We are in martial arts together and he decided to help me get into better shape by walking with me. It's convenient because he's right across the parking lot from me at work, so I have no excuses. He wasn't there on Friday, but I walked anyway. I just emailed him when I left and when I got in, so that helped.
Another friend, who has been immensely successful on WW told me that she wonders if it's not some of the weight I lost when I had strep. Even if it is, I'm not happy about it. I'm working up a good sweat every day at class. I'm sure that eventually it'll even out but I don't have to be happy about it. I just want to get it off. I've gotten to the point where I'm drinking three or four 32 ounce cups of water a day...I drink at least two at work and two after work, usually after martial arts. My instructor says that for my weight, I should be drinking a litre of water per 50 pounds of body weight. Okay, that I'm getting in when I do the 4-32 ounce cups. I know it's not a full litre (33.3 ounces is a litre) but still, I'm drinking it. I just need to make sure that I drink the four cups of water.

Today,we all went walking. It wasn't a fast walk, but it was a walk. I'm counting it because I needed the exercise. I'm going to make sure I go every day. I like walking and feel better afterwards. I like getting out of the office at work--I get to decompress myself for a little while and don't have to think about my job until after lunch.

Weigh in and other things

Well, today's weigh in was a lot better than I expected it to be. I was only up by 1.2 pounds. I am still at 10% lost and still minus 25 pounds. I can take that! It makes me happy. I practiced the 'reframing' tool as I was driving to the meeting today. I told myself that no matter what the scale said, I was going to be satisfied with it. I'm not going to beat myself up over it. All I can do is to pick up the pieces and go on. I am watching points and not going over points. That's pretty much all I can do.
My martial arts instructor told me last week that I was obsessed by my journaling but that I needed to concentrate on the exercise end of things. He said that if I have 26 points in a day, I need to earn at least 40 points in a day to build a deficit so that my body will burn the fat I'm storing. Of course, that had me in a tizzy. I'm not going to stop journaling because it works for me. Once I stop, I set myself up for failure. My biggest issue for the past couple of weeks was that I had been weighing in every day AND I had been taking the glucosamine. I'll just cut that out and talk to my doctor about it before I take it again.
Since the weather here in Texas is just as beautiful as can be, I'm going to drag the family out for a picnic or something tomorrow. Then again, maybe I'll just get up and sneak over to the fitness center here at the complex and walk on the treadmill for a while. It'll help get me going. Maybe that's something I can look into. It all depends on whether or not I can get up. I have a habit of sleeping and I'm grumpy if that's interrupted!!

So, here's the points for today:

Breakfast:
1 Weight Watchers non-fat Strawberry yogurt-1 point
2-8 oz cups coffee: 0 points
Total: 1 point

Snack:
1 Weight Watchers Breakfast Anytime Cinnamon Swirl bar: 2 points
Total: 2 points

Lunch:
1 Thomas' Whole wheat bagel: 5 points
1 Tbsp peanut butter (Jif!): 2 points
1 Tsp Land o'Lakes soft margarine: 1 point
Total: 8 points

Snack:
1 Mission Whole Wheat tortilla: 1 point
1 oz Kraft Mexican cheese: 3 points
Total: 4 points

Dinner:
1/2 C frozen peas and carrots: 0 points
4 oz roasted turkey: 6 points
1/2 C Stove Top stuffing: 3 points
Total: 9 points


Total points used so far: 24. 2 points remaining. I still need to drink some water today and that's something I'm going to do shortly. I may be able to go for a walk in a bit. Right now I'm watching Stargate SG-1 and am not going anywhere.

Activity: none

Obsession

I found a good thing at the grocery store AND it's points friendly! Chicken of the Sea ("Ask any mermaid you happen to see...") has an "Ahi Tuna Steak", so I got it. It is ONLY *3* points! It's a single serving package too. 5.25 ounces. Okay, not quite 6 ounces but it's GOOD! I also cooked brown rice and had that with my tuna. I WAS going to eat a salad but I'm stuffed, so it's gone. I have 8.5 points left over, I think. The only reason for the half point is that I ate a medium tomato and it counts for a half point. Not sure how but I won't argue.

Here's sad for you. Yesterday I got convinced to go to Quiznos with one of my co-workers. I had really wanted Subway--their Veggie Delite Salad is awesome! Anyway...we went to Q and I looked at the menu. I didn't want a sandwich. (I had a Weight Watchers Smart Ones meal for lunch already that would have been a late snack.) After debating the menu, I ordered the "Roman Chicken Salad". I figured it would be like 6-7 points. I got back to the office and went into shock. It was 16 points. **16 points!!!** I was stunned! I wound up giving it to another co-worker. I absolutely REFUSE to spend that kind of points on lunch! It would have left me like 2-3 points for dinner. I wasn't going to do that. It would have made my week that much worse than it was already...

I've had a couple of weeks from hell already because I listened to my hubby and weighed myself daily! (That was a nightmare. It's NOT a good idea unless you LIKE stress!!!)
I lost my 10% and had lost the 25 pounds too as a result of the strep. When I got back into a "normal" eating habit, I started putting on weight. That panicked me. I went virtually psycho and was on the verge of screaming daily. One of my dearest friends in the world has been following WW also and she told me very nicely "don't you get on that scale! Stay away from it!" (sorry, I didn't listen...I'm a mule.) I talked to her and told her how frustrated I was. We agreed that I've been attempting to eat right. I was panicked and she reminded me that I need to just count my points, get my activity in and drink my water!!! I haven't been drinking nearly enough water and it was showing. Plus, I was taking glucosamine for my joints at my doctor's recommendation and would wake up every morning feeling "puffy". I stopped taking it yesterday and this morning, I was down 3 pounds (shhhh! I know, I was on that scale! I'll put it away tomorrow, really, I will!!). I didn't feel puffy. Now I know that your weight fluctuates because of TOM and other things so I'm prepared to deal with that. I know that I hadn't been eating when I lost my ten percent and that 25 pounds. I'm okay. I WILL get it back off!!
I'm trying to get back on track. I've actually had 32 ounces of water since I've been home from work, just so you know! I had a pretty good meal too!

Just so you know...here's my journal for today:

Breakfast:
1 Weight Watchers Smart Ones English Muffin Sandwich-4 points
2-8 oz cups of coffee-0 points

Lunch:
1 Weight Watchers Smart Ones Santa Fe Style Rice and Beans: 5 points

Snack:
None
1-8 oz cup of coffee

Dinner:
1 Chicken of the Sea Ahi Tuna steak in a grilled herb marinade (tasty!)-3 points
1/2 C Mahatma brown rice, cooked in vegetable broth (can we count that as a veggie?!)-6 points (actually, it was more like closer to a cup, so 6 points is a reasonable calculation)
1-medium tomato-.5 points.
1-32 oz glass of water with 0-point "water mix-ins" from Walmart. That made it a Raspberry-lemonade thing.

Total points: 18

Exercise:
walking 1 hour-2 points.

I'm not hungry anymore. I'm cold, but that's just me. I'm always cold! LOL!

If you see anything you'd recommend to me to change, I'm listening!! I know I need to get more veggies in. I'm sure I could do better there. I'm going to talk to my doctor next week and see if he's heard of a reaction to the glucosamine like that. If he has, I'll have to change what I'm doing. It was to prevent me having to take medication for my knees (they hurt if I'm very active at all!). Ah well. I PROMISE, I will call the doc on Monday.

I'll be back to post an update tomorrow after the meeting. I want to get back into going to meetings. I missed last week because I had to work. I won't miss this one. I need it.
Someone's got to help me hold myself accountable!!

Today's horoscope

February 24, 2007 Peaceful Mind, Peaceful World Gemini Daily Horoscope You might have strong reactions to circumstances outside of yourself, which could make you feel on edge today. While there will always be unsettling things happening in the world around you, if you can keep in mind that peace of mind begins within you, you may find it easier to view events in your life with a greater sense of calm and steadiness. Perhaps for today you can imagine that you are enveloped by a cocoon of healing light. Even though the world may rage around you outside of this energetic shell, you might visualize that inside there is nothing but peace and tranquility. You could even use your breath to expand this healing aura so that it is even more difficult for negative energy to affect you. This energetic nest could give you a protective buffer in which to compose and heal yourself. Visualizing a space around us filled with peace allows us to restore our energy and face the outside world with greater serenity. If we let the events around us affect us, we chink away at our peace of mind bit by bit. In reality, however, there is little we can do about our world except to change our reactions to it. When we create a place that is safe and filled with healing energy, we infuse our lives with tranquility, which makes it easier for us to react to external events more calmly. Remembering that peace starts from within will help you create a more peaceful environment outside of yourself today.

Boot camp last night

First boot camp after having strep and my legs are *still* jelly. We won't talk about the fact that my stoopid scale shows that I gained 6.5 pounds since MONDAY!! We won't talk about the fact that I was a fool and weighed daily this week at my hubby's recommendation. I'm mad and I'm doing something about it. Here's what the day looks like:

Breakfast:
1 Weight Watchers Smart Ones English Muffin Sandwich-4 points
8 oz coffee-0 points
1 cup pineapple chunks-1 point
1 cup red grapes-1 point
3 strawberries-0 points
1 lettuce leaf-0 points
1 Weight Watchers Smart Ones Santa Fe Rice and Beans-6 points

Total so far, 14 points.
I have 26 points, so I'm doing fine there. I've drunk 14 ounces of water so far out of my 32 ounce mug. I can drink more tonight.
What sucks is that I have to go to work tomorrow, so I'm not going to my meeting.

Minus 26.4!!!!

Weigh in day. Minus 26.4 pounds!! I got my 25 pound magnet!! I am so pleased with myself!! Not only do I have more energy but I can execute my martial arts a LOT better!! Two years ago, when I was just starting out, I wouldn't have expected this, but here it is! I'm on the verge of getting my blue belt AND I'm almost 27 pounds lighter than I was! I don't know what I weighed when I started, but in August of 2006, I was 245 or somewhere in that neighborhood. I'm now a whole lot lighter than that and I feel GREAT!!!
I'm thrilled. In fact, I'm so thrilled about it, I'm going to go out for a walk to celebrate.
We talked about a "hat trick" today in our meeting. We had to write down a challenge, a tip and a success.
My challenges: Staying focused. It's easy to lose your focus and say "I'll get back on the bandwagon tomorrow." It's a whole lot harder to stay on plan when you're surrounded by temptations (cookies, candies, etc.)
My tips: go to meetings. You can say "I can do it alone." but you really need the support. Your meeting is important because you will be able to talk to the other people in the meeting and share tips for losing. If you gain, they help you refocus your energies into positive channels. They were teasing one lady who made Lifetime today because she had a binge day a few weeks ago. She admitted it and kept going. She didn't fall off.
My successes: I am fitting into my dobak a whole lot better than I was 3 years ago. It's actually gotten baggy on me and the new uniform I bought is going to be perfect...once I get the pants hemmed! LOL!! I have to get that done before the big test in March because I plan on wearing the new pants to the test.

Anyway...I'm in a great mood. Now I'm going to actually attempt to PLAN my meals for this coming week. I'm not a planner but I'll learn how to do it in order to stay on plan!!

10% on February 10th

Today I reached a milestone. I am now 10% LESS than I was when I started out my weight loss journey on September 2nd! I am so happy about this!! I'm so totally OVER the whining about not losing weight as fast as other people do. They can lose at their pace, I'll lose at mine. I'm not upset anymore--I've learned that patience is the key for MY loss! I'm the snail...you have your tortoises, your hares and your snails. I'm the snail and I'm a happy snail!
Granted, strep ain't the way to lose weight (I'm still not eating "normally") but it was a great boost to me. Nothing like a rebound off your plateau! LOL!
So, now I get to get back into counting points. I haven't counted points for well over a week. I had started last week, but by the end of the week, when I was feeling so blah, I just didn't do any of it.
One of the ladies in my meeting is very supportive--she told me to take my card back and have them hold it for a celebration, so I took it to Bernice. I love Bernice. She's a hoot! She's an assistant leader and has a wonderful sense of humor. Anyway, she told me I did good on my loss, which I take cheerfully. Like I said, I like her.
Lori told me to go back and give my card back--it was good that I did because there were two of us celebrating our 10%. I didn't get with the leader to plan my goal weight but I've already set it. I'm setting my goal to be 136. I'm now 81 pounds away from my goal. I am so happy about that! The "100 pounds over goal" isn't there in my vocabulary anymore!! I'm happy! Can you see me doing the happy dance???

Getting sick is for the birds!!

I have had strep for the past several days. I went to work on February 2nd and was looking forward to going to weigh in on Saturday. Well, by the time I left work on Friday, I was miserable. I'd gone in feeling like I had a golf ball or something in my throat. That didn't get any better as the day went. I also was running a fever. Yippee. When I went home from work, I took a bath, then got into bed and stayed there for the next three days. I was up a little to see the family, but for the most part, I stayed in bed, under the covers.
I had an appointment on Monday to see my doctor. We had to get my son a quick appointment at the same time because he suddenly spiked a huge fever (103.4!) at school and I had to go pick him up. I was tested for the flu (negative) and then he decided to test me for strep. Guess what? Yeppers! I have strep. I've got antibiotics and was probably good to go back to work yesterday, but the little boy wasn't ready to go to school until today. He's been running a low-grade fever. It's broken now and he'll be going to school tomorrow. It's a bit weird having him home for two and a half days and sending him back for two, but...he needs his education.
There is a bright side to this. I haven't been able to swallow so I haven't really been eating. I lost 6 pounds in the course of the weekend. I hope it stays this way because I'd really, really like to see that lower number in the meeting on Saturday. It'll definitely be a celebration!! I want to hit my 10% and IF my scales are accurate right now, I will be at 20 pounds lost (over, actually!) and 10%. That's been the hard thing but I'm pretty sure it'll be close. I know that I just need to either get sick like this more often (not an option because I hate being sick!!) or I need to be uber careful about what I'm eating and how I'm eating. I've still got a good 15.5 points left for today. I haven't even decided what to do for dinner yet. Must be something good and healthy. Maybe I'll make some sort of chili for the family. They're getting used to me giving them high protein foods like beans so...I may have to work on that idea.