Good luck Ms. M!

Tomorrow is Ms. M's next belt test. I wanted to wish her GOOD LUCK tomorrow. I am sorry I won't be there to see it, but I do expect that you will rock your test 100%!

More steps

So, in my determination to escape my desk at work, I managed to jump out and went super fast on my first walk in a year! I am paying for it today. I told my friend SS that I felt the outside of my thighs, which was really odd. I don't recall feeling like that before. I'm also feeling the pain in my shins (that I HAVE felt before)! I also don't recall being able to walk a mile and change in less than an hour!! I'm going to repeat the effort tomorrow at lunch...unless of course, I manage to sneak out of the office at lunch and not plan on returning.

I have to remember to start stretching before I go out and walk. Tomorrow's walk will be most interesting as it's supposed to be ONLY 68 degrees for a high. I know I can do it though...I am setting my mind to it. I went to the doctor's office today and found out that I have gained 17 pounds since the day of my last belt test. This does NOT make me a happy camper. I hate that I have lost my control. I am watching myself and trying to manage it the best of my ability. I know that I can use the skills I've learned at Weight Watchers again. I just have to take that step.

Before I head for bed tonight, I'll get my things together and be ready for my walk tomorrow.

What to do about stress...

I have been stressed out at work so much that I am daily experiencing headaches. I finally went down to HR and talked to her about it. She told me to get myself out of the office at my breaks and lunch time, so I actually listened. Yesterday, I made sure I didn't stay at my desk during breaks and left the building with a friend for lunch.
Today, I had an early lunch, so I went out for a walk. I used to walk with DB before he got his new job (this was last year...haven't walked for about a year now!). We would walk about 1.9 miles, I want to say. That was round trip. We did that for a few months, then got adventurous and changed our route up a bit. I think our total distance was about 3 miles. I could be mistaken. (It's been so long ago, I have fuzzy memories.)
Today I went out and walked our original route. It took me 35 minutes to walk 1.9 miles from start to finish. I feel pretty great about that! I was able to get out, get back in, change clothes AND nuke my lunch by the end of my hour! I feel good about that! I am not walking tomorrow unless I do it after I get home, but I plan on walking on Thursday again. If I play my cards right, I should be able to repeat the 35 minute walk on Thursday. If I walk every other day, I should start building up my endurance and cut my time down. Master G said that I should strive for a lower number on the mile, so it stands to reason that I could walk a mile in 15 minutes or less. If I was REALLY smart, I'd actually start RUNNING, but...there's a lot of sidewalk to run on. Need to make sure the ol' legs are in better shape first so I don't mangle my knees with a run.

What we wish for

Yesterday I was sitting on the couch, looking out the window and mentioned to the hubby that I'd love to see a cardinal sitting in the live oak outside. He said, "It won't happen. They're migratory and they've left by now." I was okay with that, but this morning, as I'm sitting here on the couch, enjoying another sunrise and listening to the birds sing and the miscellaneous traffic noises, I happened to look out the window and saw a cardinal sitting on the railing of my patio. Of course, I didn't have my camera out, but he was sitting there, eating a seed or something. He looked at the building, and then casually flew into the tree. I was trying not to make a lot of noise, but he was something else to see! I haven't ever gotten my wishes fulfilled quite like that!!

Next weekend I'm going camping with my son for Cub Scouts. It's all set. All I have to do now is just get our stuff together and we'll be gone. Putting together a tent for the first time in a LONG time will be fun, but we'll be able to do it. I just have to hunt down his sleeping bag and mine. I had them when we went to the Lexington this past summer. I think I know where his is. Mine should be in a closet.

I'm actually getting excited. I think this will be a fun trip. We will get to do all sorts of cool things. There's a "Pumpkin chunk" at this one...it's a pumpkin catapult. I think I'm more excited than my son is because we're going there. Just call me a big ol' kid!!

Sunrise

I love early morning. I love seeing the sun start to peek up over the horizon. I'm lucky enough to have an apartment that faces due East. I can get up and sit in the living room with the blinds open and see the first flickers of light as it starts to fill in the window. As the sun climbs higher in the sky, the first flickers turn to streams of gold and red. It's a beautiful sight. It's calming and energizing at the same time.

The weather forecast on my taskbar says "Mostly sunny and delightful" for tomorrow's weather. If we are FINALLY on the downside of the upper 80s and 90s, I will be a very happy person!

I'm the first one up this morning, so I'm hoarding the sunrise. I'm not sharing it with anyone except the cat. I needed the beauty this morning. I spent all day yesterday being stressed by work. I don't need that stress now, so I'm relaxing and trying to put it out of my head. I'm going to have to learn to control my stress and anger better though. I don't like coming home from work so stressed out that all I do is snap and snarl at my kids. I also don't like waking up in the middle of the night, not being able to sleep from the pain of tense muscles.
I think that starting today, I'm going to practice some breathing techniques and see how that works for me.

For now, I'm listening to the birds chirping in the trees and enjoying the feel of the morning breeze through the open window. I have the sun to light up my living room. I can hear people talking at Firestone next door, but even that doesn't bother me. I have my own tiny piece of paradise right here, right now. It is morning, I have had the sunrise to remind me that I'm just a small part of the bigger picture.

Sloppy kicks are not acceptable

Class last night was different. It was a major eye opener to me.

We did warm ups that consisted of hand and foot techniques. We did reverse punches for hands. 30 total...10 for technique, 10 for speed, 10 for power. 30 on each side for a total of 60. I felt it last night in my shoulders because I've been sloppy in my training and have not trained well in my opinion. I was not keeping my elbow tucked down by my side for the punches and kept rolling my shoulder up. Master G had to correct me a number of times. He was watching all of us and making comments about improving our techniques.

We also did kicks for warm up. Again, here's me noticing how sloppy I am in my technique. I feel like I'm just learning all over again. It feels very much like I'm starting over. I read on a blog (Ikigaiway) that black belt is when you start to learn. This is really true for me. It hurt me to not spend a lot of time practicing except for black belt prep classes. Realistically, I think in the three months between leaving USMA and joining BTK as a full time student, I kicked my own butt. I didn't practice in between. It is showing too.
During the kicking drill, Master G reminded me that I needed to turn my hip over when I do side kicks. Amazingly enough, I found that I had more power when I did the kicks correctly. I could hit the target more than I was when I didn't turn my hips over. I know I've heard "turn your hips over" many times. I just didn't put it into practical application. I have to now or else I will NOT move ahead. If I plan on earning my Ee Dan in April (not that I'm seeing it very likely, realistically), I have to kick better, punch better and perform forms MUCH better. I need to learn Bunkai so that I can explain the WHYS of my forms.

Learning about class

Tuesday night I got a wake up call and a reminder that I am not exempt from learning. Master M asked me if I knew the commands to open class. Do I know them?

I know Jun Be, Cha Ryut (these are the ready stance and "attention" stances). I know Ku Gi Ba Rae (saluting the flags) and Ba Ro (return to attention stance). I did NOT know Ku Gi Tora (turn to the flags), nor Kwan Jang Nim Tora (face Grandmaster's picture). Kwan Jang Nim Kyung Yet is bow to Grandmaster. Tora is turn. You say "Kyung Yet" to instruct everyone to bow to the instructors. Ahn Jo is sit (I knew that one!!). Muk Nyum is a moment of silence at the beginning of class. I had heard that terminology before but didn't know it was used in classes.

I am going to have to work extensively with a couple of my co-students and see if they can beat the Korean into me. I need to make sure I have the commands for starting class in case (please no!!) I'm the most senior student in class!! EEP!!

Let it be known...

I am officially IN TRAINING for my Ee Dan! I started out by walking tonight. It wasn't a really long walk in terms of distance, but it was a start. I walked for about an hour, all told. I have to make sure that I'm up to par with the physical fitness, so I started that today. Tomorrow morning, I will do my push ups. I will start out with ten. I know it's a low number, but I do "girlie" push ups and I need to make sure that 1. I have my arms at 90 degrees and 2. I don't let my belly sag. I will make sure I do the push ups properly. I am also going to make sure I start practicing basic forms again. I have to do them all or I will lose them. (I actually learned something, I believe!)

We went to the BTK family picnic today. It was a lot of fun! I enjoyed it immensely. We had a bit of a time finding the park, but when we finally got there, we were welcomed by Ms. H. I gravitated to Ms. S, Ms. Mad and Master Mac, plus Master G and Mr. and Mrs. L. I know them better than anyone as they're in my class. That was really a nice thing. I enjoy being able to talk to people I know. I like that I am welcomed to this group. It's a good thing. I haven't felt like an outsider ever. Any weird "outsider" feelings I have had were of my own making and I've gotten the equivalent of a swift kick to the butt.

Saturday

Today was a relatively quiet day. I spent the day doing laundry and we cleaned up our patio. I'll go out tomorrow and have a cup of coffee on the porch.
I've been working on the dining table--it's almost to the point where I can put the Halloween tablecloth on it. That'll be the highlight of the week. The kids will be able to sit down and do their home work at the table again.

We were 'invaded' by one of Aidan's friends today. Aidan called him up and invited him over. They spent the afternoon playing Sonic on the Wii. It was kind of funny to listen to them. They were both reasonably well behaved. I'm impressed. Usually I see this boy running around, playing with the other boys at Kids' Club. Today, he was very quiet. He and Aidan spent their time playing with his "Indiana Jones" hat and whip. I have to admit that young C looks really good in his Indy outfit. I wonder if he's wearing that for Halloween?

Tomorrow we have the BTK family picnic. I've signed up the entire family to go. I just have to make *something* to take. I think we'll take a salad of some sort. I'm not sure yet. It all depends on my mood when I get up in the morning. I'll have to get up early, have my coffee and HOPE that everyone stays in bed until late. That would be nice for me. I need some quiet time. I've got two movies I need to watch--The Kite Runner and Reservation Road. I've read one book (RR) but not the other (TKR). It'll be interesting to read.

Ahhh, apartment life is wonderful (NOT!!). One of the neighbors is outside yelling. Gotta love it. I wish we had a house...or something...

Feeling pretty good

Apparently I benefit from talking to people. I'm not talking about my co-workers, even though I talk to them sometimes. I don't actually TALK to them.
I'm referring to my talk with Master G the other night. I feel like I can take a lot out of that conversation. He mentioned that I wasn't in a race with anyone. I mentioned that I was in a race with myself and he politely reminded me that I am NOT in a race with *anyone*. It's all a part of retraining myself not to think negatively. I will work on that.

I'm presently at work, being annoyed by one person. He knows he annoys me too. I am sure he does it on purpose. It's worse today because we're down by one person again. That was unexpected, but hey, it happens. I won't let myself get all stressed out with no-one to choke because I need to overcome that. It is counter productive to me. The whole stress thing is annoying in that I let it become me. It takes over my entire life. That's not going to happen any more if I can help it.

I'm really looking forward to class tonight. I'm not sure if we're sparring or what, but I am sure that I'm going to learn a lot again. It's not a drag going to class. My biggest issue is that I get hyper before class. I have a horrible tendency to get so worked up that I get the shakes. Tuesday was a good example. Master G caught it too. He may not have seen me shaking, but he definitely saw me telegraphing that I was nervous. I should not be. They are NOT going to take my belt away and leave me in the dust, starting over. I earned that belt. Now I have to refine it. Makes sense to me.

I think I'm going to just plan to start doing little things, like push ups at home. I also have the stretching book by...well, hell, I don't remember off the top of my head. It's called Stretching for Martial Arts. I rather like it, although I find that several of the stretches require that you be in a LOT of good shape. (round is a shape, right? LOL!!) Some of the stretches aren't as good as I'd like. I prefer what Mr. L had us do the other night.

Well

I learned a LOT last night at class. Yes, I actually went to class!!!
We did a warm up and I'm happy to report that the brace I had Tony buy for me worked to keep my ankle stable enough to do jumping jacks. I don't know how many we actually did, but we each counted two..."Hana, dul..." I actually think that counting in Korean is a better idea than counting in English. I don't know about other people, but I know that for me, counting in Korean makes me NOT think about the actual jumping jack, but instead, concentrate on getting a workout. It works too.

We did a number of stretches and then Master G got people separated out to work on forms. He took some of us into his group and worked with us on Nahainchi Cho Dan and Bassai. He had us run through the forms on our own counts, and also on his counts. One of the things he reminded all of us about was that we need to use our hips. Then he separated us to work on Nahainchi Cho Dan while he worked with another studen on her form. We worked on our material for about 30 minutes, then we broke off to the other room.

When we got into the other room, he gave me a Ho Sin Sul book and another copy of the One Steps book. (the house has mysteriously 'eaten' my other one.)
He told me to familiarize myself with it, so that's what I shall do.
Then he worked with me on Nahainchi Cho Dan. He explained *much* that I don't recall learning. He taught me the bunkai (spelling?) of the hform and explained quite a bit. Each form has a practical application. It's not all about looking pretty, but it's about defense. Each movement has a specific defensive meaning. For example, much of Nahainchi Cho Dan was constructed as if you were on a horse or up against a wall, depending on how you look at it.
I found the class very informative last night. I can now explain why I do specific things during class, such as a ridge hand, etc. It's a defensive move.

Another thing he explained to me was how many opponents you could face during Keecho Hyung Il Bu...both the maximum and minimum number of opponents. The maximum number is 8 (He and I did the form and he explained it to me as we did it--he counted). The minimum is 1.

That class was highly informative. I'm glad I went. I feel like this will help me.
I talked to Master G a lot last night. I feel confident that I'll actually be able to get my butt off the ground and get that Ee Dan. I have a lot of work to do to get myself into shape, but...if I get myself into some sort of shape that is good, I will get myself ready for the next testing cycle (next Spring).

YES!!!

Went to class tonight. I'll post some tomorrow when I get to work. I am tired and as I JUST got home, I need to go offline. I'll post more tomorrow when I get a chance to think. It was an awesome class!!

Form reviews

It's official. If I don't get my butt into class tomorrow, I shall be hunted down with small, yappy dogs and tortured. (This is coming from a friend. She specifically said that she's got a dog that jumps really high, so I'd best get there!!!)

I'm going to work on material that I need to practice tonight. I need to practice some kicks (Hook kick comes to mind). I need to practice Bassai and Nahainchi Cho Dan. I THINK I know NCD, but am not 100% on the fine tuning. I have to keep practicing. I will do the basic forms tonight and make sure I know them. I know Keecho Hyung Il Bu, Ee Bu and Sam Bu. I also know Pyung Ahn Cho Dan, Ee Dan, Sam Dan (well, yeah, I BETTER!), Sa Dan and Oh Dan (again, I BETTER!). I feel confident that I can do Sam Dan. LOL!! I think Sa Dan I'd need to practice a little more...wait..."splat!" to the left, "splat!" to the right...ummm, gotta think on that one. It's the interesting form where you're doing a "grab the collar, twist, kick, punch, punch" type of move...

Going with the flow

Not working on the weekend is my idea of wonderful. I haven't done more than go to Circuit City (got mugged by no fewer than 6 people, so I didn't stay long!), the grocery store and then back home. I know I said I was going to go to karate, but...my right Achilles tendon is not feeling 100%, so I took the lazy way out and stayed home. I'm sure I won't be chastized for it. I have to take care of this or I'm not going anywhere and I need that foot!! LOL! Imagine that! It is a wake up call to lose weight though. I have found that in the past 9 months, I've gained back 12 pounds. Not quite what I wanted to look at this year. I think a lot of it has to do with my decreased activity level. I haven't been nearly as active as I was this time last year. Last year at this time, I was coming off a heavy workout schedule...I'd been in training since mid-June for my black belt test. The last time I worked out really hard was January-March. I did my second black belt test on the first Friday in March. After that, things rapidly changed and I didn't do much to push the fitness/exercise issue.. I went with the flow.
We were told that we were going to be required to run a mile, to do a serious fitness test in order to pass our next black belt test, but no training was done for the actual running or the fitness. That was left to us. I'm not sure about other people, but I'm lazy. LAZY. I don't do more than I have to do. That's why I'm seeing my weight creep back up. That's why I've got to get on the ball and start pushing myself. I need to see success. I love the feeling of empowerment I get when I see success.

I won't be running anytime soon...my ankle feels, well, MUSHY is a good way to describe it. The other ankle doesn't feel the same. If it keeps hurting, I'll go find my doctor and see what he thinks. For tonight, I'll take an anti-inflammatory and do some stretching. It'll help. If it's not feeling too squishy or sore tomorrow, I'm going for a walk.

AMAZING!

It's amazing! I'm calmer today. I haven't let the job stress me out today!
I think I'll go home and go outside for a walk when I get home. The kids will like that! We might even just go to one of the local parks for a while. I think that will be great! They'll get a chance to get some fresh air and I'll get to tire them out. Heh heh!

Plans for the weekend include cleaning the apartment, plus I have a workout plan in mind for tomorrow. I haven't checked the BTK calendar to see if there's an Open training class tomorrow. If there is, I'm totally there. (checking...) Yep, the calendar says there's an OPEN class tomorrow, so I'm going to go in and work on Bassai and some other things. I'm also going to pin Ms. Stokes and Ms. Mad down and see if either of them would be willing to give me some ideas on how to get my fitness levels up...I know the obvious--work out!!

Setting Goals...

I am working late tonight. With any luck, everyone will clear out by 6:00 so that I have a few minutes to run over my material in my cube. I like doing my forms at work when nobody's around. It gives me a chance to make mistakes and pretend that they're on purpose. Not that *I* make mistakes. ha! Me of the flubbed Pyung Ahn Oh Dan!!

I set myself a couple of goals for the next month or so. I'm going to start practicing my forms one through whatever I decide I need to work on. I also need to work on the jumping kicks (cha gi). I like the fact that there are jumping kicks that I can do. I may not kick as high as I'd like, but I'm at least trying to clear some ground, so that will help. I particularly like the jumping hook kick (no Korean on this one, sorry!). It's a fun kick. Ms. S had to remind me to tighten up my leg on this one and try to kick my own rear. Okay! I feel like I need a refresher in kicking one oh one, but I'll be giving myself that as I practice more.

Another kick I know I'm weak on is the back kick. DB has always reminded me to "LOOK at where you're kicking" and I've heard it from Master G as well. Gotta LOOK or you'll be way off base! I'm going to have to dig out my pads and start getting Tony to go outside and hold them for me. I could always get Aidan involved in that too, to help him keep sharp.

I need to set some fitness goals and start working toward those as well. I have read the requirements for passing the belt test (no matter WHOSE belt test it is!). For my age/weight, I should be able to run a mile in ten minutes. I don't know if he'll insist on straight running, but I'm betting anything that as long as I clear it in the ten minute time frame, I won't fail. I have to start conditioning myself, so that means walking first. I wish I lived closer to my friend, S. I'd love to have her coach me again. I worked with her a couple of years ago and managed to do a 5 k in an hour or so. I don't remember the exact time. I know that we both ran and walked it. She was a sweetie and really pushed me when I needed that push. I'll have to call her and ask her if she'll push me again.

I guess I can put my fitness goals over at the other blog (Martial Arts Musings) and update that as I make my goals. Might be worth a shot. That way I have both of them updated. I may mirror this blog at that one.

Ideas to relieve stress

I decided that I was going to try a few different stress relievers today. I have a bottle of lotion from Bath and Body Works. It's called "Tranquil Mist Stress Relief Body Lotion". It smells absolutely heavenly and it was open quite a bit today! I'm also listened to music. I don't care what other people think, I HAVE to have that distraction! I like to listen to Jazz...currently, I'm listened to a CD called "Smooth Jazz Party Grooves". It's soothing to me. I have to have music or I'm finding that I'm a basket case. (case in point--last night!!)

I also made sure I got up and moved around today. I am not going to sit at my desk without moving for 8 hours. I got up, walked around the room, then went back to my cube. It was a lot better. I won't say that I'm stress free, but I'm less tense tonight than I was last night. I was able to NOT grumble at my husband for the entire drive home!!

I may start trying to do some other stress relieving tactics. Of course, breathing is number one. Number two is to try to keep myself from letting the calls/co-workers affect me. I made sure I kept my music playing all day and did my best to try to disconnect from listening to the people around me. It's hard when the phone rings next door and the network guy is immediately over in my cube, asking me how to do something. It's frustrating to do my job PLUS to tell him how to troubleshoot a machine. I can't really say anything about it to my manager because I have been ordered to help him. I normally don't mind but...it's frustrating because he has been trained but he doesn't troubleshoot. Then I hear, "Hold on while I transfer you to another department" because he can't understand the customer or doesn't know what to ask to troubleshoot. I understand, but it's hard for me to be as understanding as I need to be because I feel very much like I'm doing the work of two people--my own and "network's" too because he doesn't have the experience. I know I have an unfair advantage. I've only been there 19 years. I know I need to be understanding, but it's frustrating to answer a call, only to have someone immediately jump into my cube and start talking to me. That's something else to work on, my understanding.

Tomorrow I have to work 9:30 to 6:30. HOPEFULLY everyone will show up for work so I don't have to sign on early.

Stress is not good for you

Stress is definitely not good for the body. I'm sitting here, thinking about class and wondering if I'm going tonight. My back aches from the base of my neck to just below my shoulder blades. There has been so much stress up at work that it's driving me nuts. I'm not sure how much more stress I can take. Work has been nuts and has made me so angry, I have been on the verge of tears.

In one way, going to class would have been good for me, but then again, not going is possibly better because I'm feeling sore and ill. I'm not even going to my new leader training meeting for Scouts tonight because all I want to do is hole up in the house and not do anything. I just want to sit and be very quiet. I don't want to do anything.

Part of my problem is that I am too serious about my job. I like what I do, for the most part. I like helping people. I find a minor challenge in listening to a problem, then determining the best route to repairing it. Sometimes I'm right, sometimes I'm wrong. Anyway...beyond that, it's frustrating to know that others in my department don't look at the job in the same light that I do. I'm the only woman in the department now. This isn't a huge department anyway--there are only 6 of us. One person is supposed to man the 'network' line full time. The rest of us are supposed to man the 'main' line and three of us cover the 'network' line. It gets very frustrating to hear a couple of the guys getting together in someone's cubicle and talking while calls are holding. It's EXTREMELY frustrating to see calls holding and know that you can't knock the calls out because as soon as you answer one call, three more pop in. When the calls start holding for as long as they did today, people get irritated and frustrated on both ends of the phone.

Today, we had a lot of calls holding. I went to lunch early today as I had to get my daughter's flute to her for her fourth period class. I was back within an hour. After I got back, someone else signed off and was gone until well after 4:00. During that time, it just kept going on and on...like we couldn't get any of the calls under control. It didn't get better until just around 4:30, which is highly unusual for us. Normally our peak hours are 10-2 and then another small peak from 3-4. This wasn't the case today.. I sure hope the rest of the week isn't like this because I will be a basket case. I've already missed karate today because I was so stressed. I don't want to miss class on Thursday. I'm already unhappy that I missed tonight. I have to get myself back on track to my Ee Dan!

So...hot...

Our air conditioning unit would appear to have bitten the dust. It's not too horribly hot, but not cool enough to go without, soooo...we're going to have to make do with it. I'm not sure if the compressor has died or what!! It's pushing uncomfortable in the apartment and wreaks havoc on our electric bill. SHEESH!
I'm going to management tomorrow to report it. I will NOT live without an air conditioner that works!! This will be the third time it has stopped operating. Even worse, it'll be the second or third time it's had a dead compressor.

I worked today from 8-4:30. We learned about color copiers today. I don't know that I've absorbed it all yet, but...I'm sure that I'll learn more as we go along. It's a new technology for my company. I think I'll be having nightmares or questions about "subtractive color" and "additive color" for a while to come now. Plus, having to learn the codes RGB=red, green and blue while YMCK= Yellow, Magenta, Cyan, Black. One of the guys who was training us started singing to the tune of "YMCA" and I nearly laughed myself silly. We told him that if he started doing the arm movements to go with it, we were running away.

It has been a very long day. I hope tomorrow will be quiet (cool!) and uneventful. I have a thousand things to do at home and not enough weekend left to do them. LOL!

Starting over...

It's pretty interesting to re-think the way my forms are performed. It's fun to see how another school instructs and guides you through the forms. It's great to have someone take you under their wing and pretty much guide you through what you need to do because you haven't got the Korean. I am feeling confident that I'm going to make Ee Dan because I have fabulous support at BTK. I had fabulous support with DB and ST at USMA, but when things started changing and he switched the curriculum, I felt lost. Up until I joined BTK, I hadn't been seriously practicing. Anything. Now I'm back to working on jumps, especially when I'm wearing slacks at work and I'm the last one at work. Then I have a lot of room and can show off for myself. Nobody will see me look silly. Even if they do, there's one guy there who takes Jiujitsu and will understand my need to practice. He has a tendency to try to knock me down. He always goes after my knees when we spar. I'm learning to watch him for his signals. I think that'll help me with my sparring too.

Isn't it funny that a martial artist is awfully proud of his or her bruises? I have a huge bruise on my left shin that I took in sparring over a week ago. I also have a bruise on the underside of my left arm, courtesy of the young man I spar with at work. He pinched me in an attempt to take me down. The pinch was unintentional, but man! It hurt and is ugly now!! The bruise on my leg is now a pretty purple color. LOL!! I can tell you where each of my bruises is from and who gave it to me. That's pretty sad, isn't it???

Tuesday night, I have a "New Leaders" meeting for Cub Scouts at Starbucks. It's at 6:30, so I'm going to go down there *in uniform*, stay for 30 minutes or so, and then I'll head down the road to BTK and will attend class. I have my sparring gear in the car, my notebook will migrate there this weekend and I'll be set. I don't think anyone at the meeting will freak out TOO much for me attending in a dobahk. If they don't like it, I'll leave earlier and go play with the kids at BTK!
I do believe that I'd be allowed to help out if I wanted to, but until I feel more comfortable in my skin (and that means I need to stop the negative self talking I'm hearing in my head again!), I won't feel like I can adequately demonstrate something. Instead, thank you, I'll be a student. I won't be JUST a student. I will also be teaching myself how to be a better person.