Vacation doings

We're having a "staycation" this year, but it's turning out to be fairly pleasant. Yesterday, we did very little, just hung out at home, watched movies and played games on the Wii. Today, we went to the National Boy Scout Museum in Irving and had a lot of fun, walking around. We looked at many paintings by Norman Rockwell and some of the other paintings and drawings by his successors. That was very impressive. For a while, we were the only ones in the painting gallery, so the docent came over and talked to us. He explained the paintings to us and helped the kids find the "problem" with one of Rockwell's paintings. It wasn't a problem, per se, but it was an unusual one for two reasons: 1. Rockwell painted himself in it and 2, one of the Scouts shown was painted with only one leg. It was really a neat painting. Rockwell had some serious talent.

We went into a different gallery and watched a quick movie on Scouting. They had a mannequin of Lord Baden Powell, the founder of Scouting that was so lifelike, it wasn't even funny! It watched us, literally. We found out that a lot of famous people had been Scouts. People like Presidents Gerald Ford, Franklin D. Roosevelt and Jimmy Carter; Buzz Aldrin, Bill Gates, Neil Armstrong (he was an Eagle Scout), the late Robert McNamara. It was a good learning experience.

After the museum, we came home and worked on the little man's requirements for Weebelos. He described to me what three of the parts of his uniform are (the kerchief, slide and hat), plus told me when and where he could wear his uniform and where he couldn't wear it. We also looked at the requirement for his "Forester" Badge and his "Handyman" badge. He's on the verge of earning the Handyman and on the verge of earning a science and math belt loop. I didn't know how much was involved in Boy Scouts!!

Tomorrow I have a visit to my dentist to fix a broken filling. That should be loads of fun (NOT!). I'm highly fussy about my mouth and can't stand things like shots and whatnot. I won't be in a good mood because I suspect I won't be able to have my morning coffee. I think I'll just make sure I drink a ton of water before I go.

Note: Today was a "rest" day, so I don't have a workout to talk about today.

Day 6 of the 30 Day Challenge

Since we bought the Wii Active, I've been faithful to the program. I AM working out every day, even if I'm not blogging about it here. I've noticed a few minor changes. The changes I'm seeing not everyone else will see right away as they don't see me as I do. I'm pretty happy about it though. I'm noticing that I am getting smaller and it looks like my arms are gaining definition. I'm going to stick with it because it's a lot of fun. I can only imagine what my poor downstairs neighbors think though...there's an "inline skating" thing that has me jumping to do "tricks". I haven't quite mastered that yet. I hate jumping, but I'm getting better.
Tony pointed out to me today that I have a tendency to land hard on my heels when I'm running, so I need to work on that. It may be the cause of some of my foot pain. I'm not sure yet. I'm going to practice running on a track tomorrow, not on the carpet in the living room. It's a "rest" day for me on the Active, so I CAN go to the track. I am noticing now that I'm happier when I'm exercising daily. Must be that endorphin high I keep hearing about!!

I have 20 more workouts to do on this 30 day challenge thing. I'm happy to keep at it. Once that challenge is over, I might just start a second one. I'm not sure yet. We shall have to see. I know I need to start working on pushups and crunches too. Those are important to my martial arts studies, so I'm going to work on them too.

Day 5

Sunday we broke down and bought the Wii Active. Since then, I've been using it regularly, as part of my "normal" exercise routine. I feel pretty good about it. I'm not the best at some of the exercises, but they will come to me. They will also help me with my martial arts. Today, for example, I had lunges (oh, ick!) and boxing. The lunges are a necessary evil, I believe, because I need to build the strength in my legs and Master M told me that they were a way to do just that.
I also had some "boxing" today. This is nothing like the rhythmic boxing that the Wii Fit has. This is aiming at actual targets. If you "break" the target, that's good, but if you at least make the attempt to hit it, that's good too. I definitely will have to learn to use my hips as I'm doing the game. It's a good plan of attack because it'll help me improve my kicking skills too. Kicking=use of hips. Boxing=use of hips. See the correlation?

Anyway, this was day 5 of the Wii Active 30 day challenge that I'm doing. I'm pretty pleased. I've managed to keep up with it so far. I'm not getting discouraged. I'm actually laughing because it has "inline skating" that makes you first crouch way down (to gain speed), then JUMP really high. It's to do a "trick", but that depends on when you jump. If you don't jump at the beginning of the ramp, your avatar lands very hard. (If a person landed the way that avatar does, they'd have broken ankles!!)

I'm on vacation now. I won't be at work until the 15th of this month. I don't know what the guys are going to think. I don't know if I'm even going to worry about it. I've stressed out over doing a good job for so long, it's good to just let someone else worry about it. Of course, in the back of my mind is a small "what if they don't do it the way I want it done?", but...I'm not going to let it bother me. I'm going to enjoy myself. We're going to do home stuff and hang out here. We MIGHT go to Houston for a day, just to see Tony's Grandmother and uncle. That is a "might". We could also go to Oklahoma and also to Shreveport. I'm considering all of those things.

Forms

Tonight I think I FINALLY got my head wrapped around forms again! I practiced Pyung Ahn Ee Dan, Pyung Ahn Sam Dan and Pyung Ahn Sa Dan tonight and was able to do them. Ms. M corrected something I was doing incorrectly on Sa Dan, and I was able to pick it back up and keep going. That made me very happy with myself. So after class, I talked to Master G and was talking about how I "couldn't remember" Pyung ahn Oh Dan. Well, guess what? Not only did I apparently lie about that, I managed to do the *entire* form in front of him and did it all the way through, correctly!

Bear in mind, I've been fighting myself for the past 9 months to convince myself that I did know Pyung ahn Oh Dan. I hadn't actually TRIED to do the form, just reviewed it mentally. That wasn't enough. I figured that since I've been working on trying to reclaim my forms, I'd go ahead and brush up on them and get them back. After all, I am a Dan and need to remember them. I'd been setting myself up for failure by saying "I can't". Well, I CAN!
I was literally jumping up and down and getting excited in front of Master G because I DID!!! It was so exciting to see that I DID remember that particular form!!! YAY!!

Ms. M made the recommendation that I just pick a form and drill it over and over. I'm so glad that she made that recommendation! It felt really good to hear Master G call out a form, which I had been doing and I was able to do it and do it RIGHT!!! My next step is to keep working on Pyung ah Sa Dan this week, plus review of Sam Dan and Ee Dan.

Methods of training

I talked the hubby into going out and letting me get the Wii Active today. One of my FB friends recommended it. I tried it as soon as I got it home. I went through a hard 20 minute workout, but I'm not complaining! I enjoyed that workout and feel like I accomplished something. I need to make sure I warn my downstairs neighbors that I'll be doing some running, in addition to other things. I need to be careful, however, since I've somehow managed to hurt my right heel. I don't know if it's Achilles tendonitis (which is what hubby thinks) or if it's Plantar fascitis, but whatever, I don't plan on aggravating it too much! If necessary, I'll talk to the Masters on Tuesday and ask to be excused from running...or I'll just walk. We shall see. I don't want special dispensation from anyone. I just want to do my best and work hard. They expect hard work, I expect to give it.

In Open Training yesterday, I worked with Mr. D about a rear choke hold grab. It was interesting. It's a matter of someone grabs you, then you smack them in a highly vulnerable spot, twist, elbow them in the ribs, on either side of their body. It worked very well for me. Of course, he was about my height. I haven't tried it with someone taller than me...YET. I need to make hubby practice with me. I worked with the little boy on wrist grabs. I needed the practice and he can help. It was a good thing. He's learning (somewhat by osmosis, maybe) how to get away from someone who grabs him by the wrist. I'm going to keep working with him and also with Ms. A on the wrist grabs. They're good for both kids to know. I talked to Master G about working on them with little A. MG said that it was okay for him to work with me. I have a goal to learn the Ho Sin Sul by the end of the year. I need to get all of the Ho Sin Sul learned. I have no excuses. It's a reasonable goal. I even let the cat out of the bag and told Master G that I have set myself this goal. I WILL make it happen! I know at least 3 of the Ho Sin Sul by memory--they're all wrist grabs, but still, I can do them.

GOOD LUCK BBM!!

Good luck tonight, BBM!!
I know you'll do well! You won't settle for less than 100% effort!

Go get 'em!!

Results of the first week.

I know, logically, you don't actually SEE results from working out in a short time, but...it's been officially two weeks since I started adding in weights at the Y to my pre-martial arts class workouts. I swear that I am seeing results in the mirror. I see my shoulders looking more...well, more defined!! I know it's not really something you see right away, but to me, I'm going to continue believing it. Half the battler is belief. If you believe in yourself, you will have a lot of confidence to continue. That's why I'm going to start telling myself I CAN and WILL finish a lap as I'm running around the building on Tuesday.
I have lost two pounds since I started working out daily. I have to admit that I took Friday off, despite saying that I would work out, but that's fine. I've done cardio every day since (yesterday and today) and I've also done my workout during the week. I'm starting to feel much better.

An update on the creepy caller

I just got home from taking A some clothes so that she could spend the night at a friend's house. She went to Hawaiian Falls (it's a water park) with this friend and called at 4:00, asking if she could spend the night. I said yes because she deserves a break from us. I'll go pick her up at 10:00 tomorrow morning and she'll be mine again. LOL!

While I was dropping off the clothes for A, I took the opportunity presented to me to talk to S's mom about our caller. Apparently he's also been calling S. NOT cool. From what they told me, this creep told S that she was "retarded". She answered him "How nice." and hung up on him. Good for her!! I told her parents how to trace the call (*57, $9.00/call but they WILL be able to trace the boy!) and how to block anonymous calls (*77, IF your phone service allows it!!).
From what I gathered, when he was talking to S's parents on the phone (also after 10 PM on that first call!), it sounded like there were multiple people in the room. S's mom is going to go to the Police Department and file a report as well.

We had one more call on Wednesday when A and S were chatting on the phone, but since nobody answered the phone, he may have given up. One can only hope. If not, we trace his calls and get him that way.

YAY! I'm last!!!

We ran before class last night. I was one of the last ones out the door and DEFINITELY the last one in from the run. We only did two laps around the building, but sheesh! I swear, I'm in class with a bunch of gazelles!! They're all MUCH younger than me and in better shape. I didn't get discouraged by the fact that I was last though...I even made a joke to Master M...I came in and told her later, "Yay! I'm last!!!" We only had to run 2 laps around the building, but man! That was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I walked most of it but did manage to shuffle myself into something resembling a run for a little bit. Master M told me to keep at it...just do my best. Eventually I'll get myself into a better place, running wise. I'll never pass a physical torture, er, test, if I don't start working on it now.

We focused on doing the forms with weights in class this week. It was a bit of a challenge to not just flail out with the weights. On Tuesday, I used 5 pound weights and last night, I went down to 3 pound weights. Before class, I ran on the elliptical for four minutes (with only ONE break!); did triceps presses, some sort of lift for the deltoids and a machine that was called a "fly". I tried to increase my reps and decrease the weight. My chiropractor told me to go for more reps, lower weight, so I listened. (yes, she *can* be trained!)

I know what I need to do to improve my overall health and fitness. It's called KEEP WORKING! I didn't do my Wii workout this morning, but I am NOT beating myself up over it. I figure yesterday was a huge workout, in terms of the weight lifting before, running and weights during, then the kicking workout (15 reps per leg, three different kicks--side, front and roundhouse) was enough to allow me to skip working out this morning. Tonight is another story. I definitely plan on working out when I get home!!

Day 3

Well, this morning I wasted a good 15 minutes of my workout time trying to figure out the television controls. I finally had to wake up T and get him to show me how to work it. I'm the only one who doesn't use the remote for the television...if I did, then I'd know how to change things to the video setting.
It all worked out though...I did get in my boxing and felt pretty good, all things considered. I'm planning on doing it again in the morning. I asked my chiropractor about it today and he said it was good. He wants me to continue with my plan to work on my triceps and biceps and recommended that I use the butterfly machine as well. He wants me to use less weight and do more reps and really PUSH through the last set of reps. I'll put that to the test tomorrow. I'll be back over at the Y at 6:30 and can wait out the little boy's class while working out.
Dr. B also told me to start running on the elliptical machine 3 times a week. He said in about a month, I'll have the endurance to run on it for 16 minutes. Hmmmm. I'll work up to that!

Anyway...I'm off to get my rest so that I can attack my workout in the morning again.

Say goodbye to the Couch Potato

I'm a self avowed couch potato. I have spent the better part of my adult life being a couch potato. No exercise to very little at best. Then I discovered martial arts and that changed my life a bit. At first, I worked out only in class, but as I improved my skills, I realized that I was losing weight and having fun with it. At one point, I had the grandiose plan to run a 5k, so I trained for it with friends. That happened in 2005. I was out *every* Saturday morning, running or walking with friends. It was hard work, but a lot of fun and definitely something I enjoyed for a bit. After that race, we kind of let our walking/running fall by the wayside and never picked it back up again. I was back to being a couch potato.

During the end of 2006 to 2007, I was in some pretty heavy training for my Cho Dan. I was in full training from July to September of 2007 to get in shape for my test. After that, my training went downhill a bit. It picked up a little in January of 2008 and lasted until March. After that, I wasn't really working as hard as I had been for the past year, so I started gaining weight again. It was just a little here and a litte there, but it got me worried about it. I didn't do that much for it--I assumed that I could just keep up my intermittent workouts and that I'd be fine. After all, I had lost weight by doing a lot of intense working out in 6 months. That wasn't the best thing for me, but I truly wasn't motivated.

I think something finally "clicked" for me. I have to take 100% responsibility for my own health. I can't afford to sit back and let the pounds creep back on.
I've joined that "Biggest Loser" thing at the complex and haven't really done that much exercise. Saturday, I went swimming with the kids. Sunday, hubby and I walked for at least 4 miles. We don't know the exact distance because we don't own a pedometer. I feel really good about what I'm doing. I have made two days of playing on my Wii Fit. I put in 30 minutes yesterday and 45 minutes today. If I plan to make that time to play, I think it'll be a good thing.

In addition to the Wii today, I plan on getting onto the eliptical machine at the Y and trying to build up my time on it. I went 2 minutes on Tuesday and 4 (with many rests both days!!) on Thursday. It's a start. I am starting to find that I LIKE exercise. Why it has taken me 44 years to learn to like it, I don't know, but I'm just pleased as punch for it.

We have Wii Sports too, so I'm going to play with the son in a few minutes.
My goal is simple--I need to lose thirty pounds again by the time I visit my doctor next year. Thirty pounds in a year is a good goal. It's roughly 3 pounds a month, which I'm sure is doable. I will feel better and I KNOW I'll look better.
My martial arts will also improve as I improve myself.

So, who is this suddenly new person? Was I taken over by "pod people"? I am finding that I LIKE working out. Couch potato? Bye!!

Birthdays

My oldest turned 14 today. I have been teasing her about being "old", but I'm really proud of her. I almost can't believe she's 14. We talked about that today as we were going from Target to Walmart and then back to the house. She has really been patient, all things considered. I told her I'd highlight her hair for her this summer as a present to her. I think she'll like it.

So, this has been a great day for us. I made her a birthday cake...and I think we shall do many, many more home-made cakes. She requested a "Red Velvet" cake, so I made that for her and iced it with white icing, then sprinkled red and blue sprinkles on it. It was a hit with everyone. I'm glad because I wanted to make sure it was something everyone would like. Mr. A is fussy and won't eat chocolate. I get tired of white cake, so the red velvet cake was a good compromise.

Take a hint

Unfortunately, our caller from Monday night decided to call back. I answered, he asked for A and this time I let her talk to him. He gave her his "name" and she, smart cookie that she is, said, "Sorry, I don't know who you are. Goodbye." and hung up on him. THEN he decided to call back, so T answered the phone. He called not once more but twice more. The first time, he told T that he was someone else. THEN he called back again and started in on T about something. I didn't hear both sides of it, only T's side. We tried anonymous call block on the phone, but it apparently isn't activated. T called the Police Department and went down there to file a complaint. I hope they can trace that phone number because I'd really, really like the boy's parents to know what he's doing. He's not being "cool" or "funny" or anything else. All he is doing is irritating the adults in the house and making A think she's got a stalker.

Let's all keep our fingers crossed that they can find out who this is and stop him from calling.

Four days off

As of the moment I walked out the door of my office tonight, I am on vacation!!
It's only for a couple of days, but I wanted to give A a break from her brother. She's been wonderful with him for the past few days. They went to one of her friends' house yesterday and did "girlie things" while he played on the Wii.
Then Tony picked him up and took him to the dentist and she stayed at the friend's house. I met them at Braums and picked her up. (Braums is a local dairy/ice cream shop/food market. Small and yet...mmmm! I'm spoiled. I won't drink milk from the grocery store any more. Braums milk has me spoiled...but I digress...)
So, anyway, we came home and I got ready for karate.

On the subject of karate, Mr. A is now taking lessons again. Tuesday was rough since he hadn't taken his medication, but yesterday was a different day. I didn't hover outside his classroom TOO much yesterday. I took advantage of a recommendation from my friend, Ms. S. I hit up the eliptical machine again. She recommended it on Tuesday as I was so wound up and stressed that she thought it would do me some good. I used one on Tuesday for *maybe* 3 minutes. I'll say 2 because that's more likely the case. Yesterday, I went for a whole whopping 4 minutes. That was including many rests. I am not going to get down on myself...I tried! That's the big thing there!

I also used a machine to help me build my triceps and deltoids. I did two sets of fifteen reps on the triceps and two sets of ten on the deltoids. I also fiddled with the weights to get an idea of what I need to do to fix myself. My friend DB told me, "You go, girl!" when I texted him about it. LOL! That was a fun text to receive.

Class last night was all about One Steps and Ho Sin Sul. Master F had us partner up and work together from our books on our One Steps and the Ho Sin Sul. Our instruction was to read the book, then attempt to execute the movement by what was written in the book, and then to practice it until you were comfortable with it. We did green belt, fourth Gup Ho Sin Sul and then worked backwards toward white belt, tenth Gup. Our instruction was to start with our highest One Steps and Ho Sin Sul and work down toward the lowest.
It is a fantastic learning experience for those of us who are just starting out in the school. I paired up with a young man who is very tall. He was a good partner to work with. We practiced a side headlock and a full nelson, plus using a backpack and of course, a few well placed kicks. In reading over the side headlock Ho Sin Sul, I looked up at him and said, "you're going down". He kind of snickered, but we both knew it was written to be a take down. I need to practice it as a takedown because that's the best way to learn it. It has to be highly controlled and I made a note on that. I actually read the Ho Sin Sul book before class started and made myself notes. It was a bit fun to have Master F call that particular drill for class.

After class, I talked to Master M for a bit and told her that I felt like it was all coming together for me. She gave me some tips on strengthening my legs so that I can get up and down during the opening of class or any time we have to go down to the floor and get back up. She also made a recommendation on doing my crunches. Still have to work on getting to goal. I know what my number is and I do plan on getting there. I won't set a specific date here (after all, you never know who reads your blogs), but if anyone's interested in asking outside of the blog, I'll cheerfully tell you.

Anyway...I'm going to spend the next four days practicing martial arts and relaxing. I am also sneaking in to see my chiropractor and get my back adjusted because it's been a month and I can now feel my back again. That's not what I want!!

Rest. Martial arts. Rest. It's going to be a couple of really nice days.

Late night phone calls are NOT allowed...

I just fielded a phone call that was supposedly for my daughter. Mind you, the phone rang at 10:10 PM and I answered it. I heard a whispered, "I'm going to ask for Amanda..." as I said "Hello?" No answer. I said hello a number of times and finally got a "Can I talk to A?" I said "NO. Who is this?" He then proceeded to tell me that he needed to talk to her. I literally had to pry his name out of him. I told him that I don't allow phone calls at 10:00 at night. The last time we allow phone calls is 9:00. This "young man" let me have it, telling me that my daughter was going to be "of questionable morals" because I was "over protective". I came close to telling the little thing off, but I settled for telling him I didn't appreciate phone calls late at night. He asked for her cell phone number and I said, "she doesn't have one." That led to an expletive and question about "what kind of a child are you raising?" Hello? I am raising a child who is respectful of her elders, one who at this point hasn't gone into the "ahhh, boys!" mode and I'm happy about that. I went so far as to wake her up and question her about this person. She doesn't know who he is, but thinks it's one of the boys who gave her hell this past school year. I would dearly love to find his number and tell his parents about the late night phone call and lecture.
Am I over protective? I don't think so. I just think that I'm looking out for her best interests.

Eye opener

Yesterday, I had the good fortune to assist at the latest Gup test at BTK. I volunteered to help and was put to work, timing the runners during that part of their physical fitness testing. I guarantee this...after seeing an older gentleman blast past the younger people he was running with, I am GOING to learn to run. He made it look easy!!

I really was impressed by the way this test was run. I hadn't been that closely involved in the testing process at the old place, so I didn't realize how much work goes into setting up tests. I never had the opportunity to do anything in a helpful capacity. Basically, at the one or two tests I attended as a Dan, all I did was just lurk on the sides and make sure the kids weren't talking too loudly or goofing off.

This test was serious. It's not an automatic thing that you'll test. In our school, you have to be invited to test. I realized yesterday exactly how much the instructors see when they're running class. I know that they see a lot, but still...it was an eye opener to realize this. They have to see a lot of things in order to invite people to classes.

This school is a quality school, not a "belt mill". As I watched the students sparring, performing Ho Sin Sul and One Steps, I realized that there is a high expectation placed on each student. If we walk through the doors of this school and we sign up, we are accepting that expectation. We say, "Yes, I commit to working hard, to giving my best." During one point of the test, an examiner asked someone to show him more technique because he wanted to further observe and make sure that the student had learned what they were supposed to learn. They don't just run tests every month and at the end of the test, hand out belts and say, "Congratulations, you passed." This school makes you WORK for your belt.

Another thing I learned at the test yesterday...this school truly IS an extended family. I knew almost everyone there, with the exception of one Dan I didn't get to introduce myself to. When I walked in, the Dans from our other Dojang greeted me by name. They treated me with courtesy-we all know that karate begins with courtesy and ends with courtesy, but this is a living example of it. They are courteous to everyone. They demand the same courtesy from the people within.

What else can I say ? It was an experience that will remain with me for a long time to come.

A little of this, a little of that

Saturday was the Open Training and I was very glad I went. I got a chance to work on the first eight one steps and Ho Sin Sul. I remember the Bear Hug one and am going to make Tony practice it with me. It's always good to practice, especially when you've got someone who doesn't know what you're trying to do. I won't hurt him or anything, but I want to make sure I can perform that Ho Sin Sul properly for when we run through them in class this week. I'm going to attend one class...I have Cub Scouts on Thursday, so Tuesday is my only day.
That's my birthday, so I am hoping that I get a wickedly killer work out in.

Saturday afternoon, I got a quick lesson in picking out wood for the Gup test too. My friend, Ms. S, took me with her as she picked out the boards. That was an interesting concept. The first plank of wood we picked out was very light (for an 8-10 foot piece of wood!). The second one was heavier than the first. It was amazing--we could tell how wet it still was. Like I said, that was definitely an eye opener.

I got a very nice surprise from Miss Amanda on Saturday as well. We received (finally!) the scores from her state mandated tests in Social Studies/History and Science. I knew that she'd do well, but I wasn't prepared for HOW well she did!
She was commended on both of them! This is her third test this year that was Commended!! I am really proud of her!!

I signed up for a "Biggest Loser" thing with my apartment complex. I've finally decided to get smart about working on my health. We had to weigh in, plus they ran us through a fitness test. I did 32 crunches--my fitness goal for testing purposes, for my age, is 34, so I'm on target there. I don't EVEN want to mention the pushups, but I will anyway. I only did 5. I'm supposed to do 36 of them for fitness requirements, so that's something to work on. The trainer didn't allow "girlie" pushups (on your hands and knees). No, these were full on, "military style" pushups in a plank position. Can we say "more work needed"?? Yep, that's me!!

I was the shortest person there and the largest as well. All the other women were so small, I was questioning the "whys" of them, but I decided that I really don't CARE why they're there. I'm not going to be all self conscious about why I'm there. We all want to be healthy. *I* want to be healthy. I want to get some guidance in my work outs so that I can drop close to 100 pounds. It won't happen in 8 weeks, which is when the BL program runs, but if I lose about 4 inches, I will feel great. I am going to start pushing myself to get my butt out and exercising during lunch at work. I'm not taking being "large" anymore. Ms. S reminded me of something I said in my last black belt essay. I had written that "a black belt is an example to the rest of the martial arts community and others" (paraphrasing badly, I think), so I need to make sure that I'm providing a good example!

Full Circle

I recently had the opportunity to forward a copy of my black belt essay to a friend for her opinions. She came back with some incredibly interesting observations, ones that I wouldn't have even thought of.

One of the things she pointed out was that I had mentioned self discipline. That has been, up until recently, sadly lacking in my life. I had let myself get kind of ho-hum about my training. I worked really hard from October of 2006 to September of 2007 to earn my black belt. That started in March of 2007 and went onward to September, so I had six months to work on myself, to get myself into a better frame of mine mentally and get myself physically conditioned. Of course, at that time, the belt test only consisted of doing some physical things--jumping jacks (100), pushups, sit ups and then much technique and finally into forms and sparring. At the very end of the test, we broke boards, then the test was over.

I felt like I was really on top of my game at that time. I had to write an essay on what becoming a black belt meant to me. I still feel that it means that my hard work paid off. At this point, if someone asked me what does being a black belt mean, I'd seriously have to tell them that the journey is not over once you earn that belt. It's just beginning. That's actually how I feel right now.

I had a unique opportunity starting in July of 2008. I left my old school, feeling rather bummed and annoyed with the way things had been going. I didn't feel like I had been appreciated and there were hard feelings. I'm since over that because I've moved on. I built the proverbial bridge, so to speak. I gave up my irritation with the old ways and moved on to a school where things are different. I'm not complaining. I feel like it was a good move. Yes, I've had melt downs. I've gone through a period of time where I felt like I wasn't good enough for this school, where I doubted myself and my abilities. It took a good friend to send me an email telling me to get over myself for me to actually open my eyes.
In this school, nobody judges you on your abilities. If you don't know the Korean, well, they'll help you learn it. If you don't know a form quite the way this school does the form, they'll help you refine your ways. They're supportive, they help you and they encourage you to keep going. As an example, during Thursday's class, when we were doing our "ladder drill", I asked Ms. M if she could recommend something for turning my hips over more during kicks and she was happy to offer advice.

I've come full circle. I'm now looking at things in a new light. I feel like I'm learning discipline again. Yes, I do still have issues, but recently, I haven't found myself griping about how I "can't" do something. I attempt everything with an open mind and give myself the chance. I put myself into my training. You're only going to get out of your training what you put into it. If I want to get a good technique out of it, I need to put a good attitude into my training. I will not help anyone else if I'm negative and whiny, most especially myself.

For all this, I have to thank someone who is proving to follow one of the class tenents..."Honor Friendship". She truly is a person I'm honored to call my friend. If it hadn't been for her and several others, I wouldn't be thinking positively. I wouldn't be where I am now. At the beginning of *every* class, I tell myself that I will do my best. I don't care what I'm asked to do and I'm not going to make snarky comments to myself about what I'm doing. I'm actually learning to laugh at myself and the biggest thing...I'm leaning on my FRIENDS and working on improving things.

The next time someone asks me about my friends, I can honestly tell them that the martial artists I have met are some of the most loyal, most steadfast people I know. If it wasn't for the bluntness, patience, support and most of all, the sheer love these people have for their sport, I woudln't be feeling like I belong.

I've come full circle. I'm starting over and it is wonderful!! I'm back to being "obsessed" with martial arts. I feel something even more important. I. BELONG.

Memorial Day

On this Memorial Day, we need to remember the people who have fought to preserve our freedom. We salute those who fought for us and those who continue to fight on many different fronts.

Class review

This week has flown by quickly. Tuesday was class...Master G taught us a few things about sparring. We did a drill called "sticky feet"...you reach out with your foot and touch your partner with your foot. Hold it for about a second. Then you draw it back. The point of that drill was not to be quick to kick, but to think about the technique, the way you were doing the kick. We did it with front (ap cha gi) and side (yup cha gi) kicks. After that, we worked on a lunging drill where you lunge forward by pushing off your back foot and not jumping, but lunging forward. It's a bit like a fencer's lunge. Master G said to think of your rear leg as the gas and your front leg like the brakes. You let off the brakes and give it gas. You have to think of moving both feet. It was a good tough workout that night.
Thursday was another fun class. We did a "ladder" drill that night. That was a kicking drill...low kick, chamber, mid-level kick, chamber (and try your best to fight the urge to put your foot down!), then a higher kick. I have to think about that drill and work on it more. In the past, I have been allowing myself to touch the ground after kicking....that's going to change because I see the need for it.

Today I went over to Ms. S's house and worked with her and her daughter on Ho Sin Sul. We started at our highest and worked our way down toward the white belt Ho Sin Sul. I got a good idea of how it should be done. I made some notes and will review them. One of the Ho Sin Sul is one that I need to practice with hubby as I need someone heavier than me to pin me down so that I can escape it. That's a practical application and I should work with that.

I'm really enjoying class now. It seems like I had to cross a line in order to reach this part of it. Now I can see what I have been missing. I am settling into my role in this school and will continue to try to improve. One of the things I like so much is the fact that everyone learns the same thing. It's not groups breaking off and working on different things. Instead, everyone learns the same information and it's up to you to keep practicing outside of class. We keep training journals and write after class what we learned. It's a good review because you can go back and see what you've been doing, what was taught and how you think you did. I know I've been working on the lunges outside of class. That is a useful skill to know. Master G said that we need to think beyond moving backwards, to learn to move to the sides and diagonally as well. We also want to learn not to leave any part of yourself behind when you move.

Sunday reflections

Last night was the End of Year banquet for Cub Scouts. I am proud to say that my entire Den was able to be promoted to the next level, to Webelos. That's a great thing! I'm really proud of the boys. They all worked hard to achieve their ranks.
We had to hand out their Bears first for the ones who didn't have them along with their other achievements. I gave my assistant Den Leader the opportunity to hand out the awards. I figured he could do that. I'll have to work on my public speaking...but that's something that can be done at almost any time.

While I was out with the young man last night, hubby got to chaperone our daughter and a friend. They played video games until Aidan and I got home. We finally chased them off to bed at 11:30, but when I got up this morning at 6:30, they were up in Amanda's room, giggling and laughing. We found out just a little bit ago that they didn't sleep all night. UGH. I can't deal with a lack of sleep. I don't know how they did it. I guess they're more resilient than I am, but still...it's crazy in my eyes.

Not a lot is planned for today. I need to work on my one steps. I have 1-4 memorized. I want to advance to the next four and get them nailed, then I can work on the next four. I'm going to get them done in increments. I like the idea of learning more. It feels good to learn. I may drag the hubby outside and practice on him.

Feeling pretty good!

I'm feeling pretty good, despite feeling like I've just had my arms beaten to a light pulp from the one steps we worked on during class tonight. If I rest them on the computer, I can feel a couple of spots where there will be wickedly awesome bruises tomorrow or Thursday. Cool. I know, I'm odd. I am proud of my bruises because it means I worked hard!!

Tonight during class we worked on one steps and sparring. The one steps were great. We went through the first 8...and now I have to look at the highest one steps (tomorrow), grab the hubby and practice at least the top few and work my way down the list on them. I am feeling pretty confident I can do it.

We worked on sparring as well. The sparring was "contract sparring" where we told our partners what we wanted to work on. It was blocking for me, plus kicking and punching. At the very end, I worked with my friend, S, on sparring. She showed me how to put together combinations that would be effective. She suggested that I work on remembering that if I block with the front hand, I need to hit with the low hand or so on. Her suggestion was "think Rock 'em, Sock 'em Robots".

Master M called upon me tonight about a one step and fortunately, I had a bit of coaching from my partner, so I wasn't a complete boob about remembering. I did remember #4 without being prompted. I appreciate Master M showing us what she was expecting because it helps me get a clear picture in my mind of what I am expected to do. I think I've about decided I'm a visual learner. I have to be shown what to do in order to learn it. I think my kids are the same way. It makes sense though.

Tomorrow I'm going to work on Ho Sin Sul for a few minutes in the morning. I do have the first two memorized. There are 20, so I have 18 more to go. (hmmm, same number as the Funakoshi Codes I have to memorize. I'm on #13 there...)

Happy Mother's Day!

I hope that everyone has had a wonderful Mother's Day. It's been a great day to do very little. I accomplished two things today. I got my daughter to the high school to work on her marching stuff and I walked a mile in ten minutes. In addition, I actually *ran* a little bit! I feel really good about that! I enjoyed that! I walked up around the end of the oval, ran the back straightaway to the second end of the oval and then walked the rest of the track. I did that twice. The first time, I actually managed to run sideways as well as running forward. I was trying to get Aidan to keep running. He was running with me but complained about it. I was trying to convince him that he could keep running since he's younger than me. He stopped, but that's okay. I just kept running until the end of the track. I did that twice, so I'm feeling pretty smug.

I also got Aidan to practice my first couple of Ho Sin Sul with me. He liked that. I have one and two down without much trouble. The next step is to get busy and learn 3 and 4 properly. I'll work on those at work this week. I made myself a bit of a promise--I'm going to learn my Ho Sin Sul and work on One Steps outside of class. My next step is to grab Amanda and get her to work on them with me.

Whirlwind

It has been a really busy week! I traded hours with someone at work so that I wouldn't have to work until 6:30 pm on Monday. Tuesday, I took Amanda to her "First Steps in Band" practice. She had a blast. I was impressed by it and have to admit to suffering from "Helium Hand". I volunteered to help with the March-A-Thon the band holds every August before school starts, to raise money for the band. I'm going to walk with the kids about 3-4 miles. We'll be walking about a mile to get from one elementary school to another. The kids play their instruments during this March-a-thon. I think I'm more excited about it than Amanda is.

She did get chosen by a Drum Major to try out for his squad. Basically, what it means is that a Drum Major earns leadership points or something for teaching a Freshman to march. We're going to the school on Sunday for her to work with this boy. I"m going to be there, walking the track.

We also have Cub Scouts getting ready to end for the school year. I'm going to be the Den leader next year too, as Aidan's in Webelos (that will be his next rank). We have a camp coming up next month that I need to get ready for. After that it'll be Amanda's Band Camp in August. One of us will have to drop her off at the school practice field at 7:30 and pick her up (unless she gets a ride home from someone) at 3:30. It's going to make for a very long day for her. I kind of hope her friend, Sammi brings her home. It'll make things easier on us.
The first week of August is the Freshman camp, then there's the full band for the next three weeks. Their first performance will be the last Friday in August, in Longview, TX, which is 3 hours East of Allen. THAT ought to be fun!!

I spent the greater part of today in major stress. I'm not going to go into details, but I've decided that I'm letting it all go away. I'm not holding on to it.
Tomorrow is a new day.

I have letters to write that I have started and put off. The people I owe the letters to are extremely patient with me. I think it's time i sat down and scribbled out a note or three while I'm running my virus check tomorrow.
That's another day..

Mini Goal for May

Okay, I've set a mini goal for May.

I have to learn something for martial arts and I've decided that I will learn it by June 2nd. It's all of 20 lines, each of them referring to a saying by Master Gichin Funakoshi. I have the first 7 memorized, so I'm going to work on the last 20.

I can do it...

Balance

In talking to my chiropractor this week, I mentioned to him that I needed to learn to turn my hips over better when I'm doing side kicks. He mentioned to me that I needed to get a wobble board to work on improving my balance. My chiropractor is a martial artist and knows that you have to have balance in order to be able to get the movement down for the turn. When you perform a side kick, you need to be able to 1. Turn your hips over and 2. Allow your supporting foot to pivot. If you don't, you will not perform the kick correctly. He said that the wobble board would improve my balance and would allow me to be able to execute the kicks properly.

I missed a good class on side kicks a few weeks ago. K said that Master G had everyone lay on the floor and practice kicking. It helped improve the positioning. I have to make a point of practicing that at home. It will definitely help with the ability to learn how the kick should feel.

Tony told me that the Wii Fit board we have should do the same as a wobble board, but I'm not 100% convinced. Yes, it will work on balance, but is it enough to improve the balance properly? I'm going to keep that in mind.
I have the Wii Fit, but I don't use it. I haven't used it in nearly 6 months. It is time to dig it out and start using it.

Great week

This has been an interesting week. I went to class on Tuesday and on Thursday. By Thursday, I was counting in Korean. I learned a bit about the Korean flag. I can explain what the bars on the flag mean. I haven't learned the name of the Yin/Yang symbol in the middle of the flag, but I CAN tell you that the blue is Female, the red is male. On Tuesday, I worked with Master M and K on Pyung Ahn Ee Danm. I feel like I'm doing it better. It's definitely coming together. I learned how to transition to the inside/outside block, kick, reverse punch. That looks better now.

Last night we worked on hand techniques, then went on to work on kicks. Master F gave us a drill where we worked on a high x block. Please pardon me...I had the Korean for that but just let it escape. Sang Soo Sang Dan Mahkee...that's it!
We used a blocking tool, but I can just imagine how that would have felt if we'd been using actual swords/bats/whatever. That and one steps are my next things to work on at home. Well, one steps and Ho Sin Sul. I need that. I want to go back to class and be prepared.

I am also working on learning the Funakoshi codes. In our school, every first gup should be able to know these codes and explain them. It stands to reason that if I am walking into the position of Dan in this school, I must learn it as well, so that's what I'm working on. I DID just learn to count to ten in Korean so that's a good thing. I feel like I've crossed a bridge there. I'm getting somewhere.

In talking to my chiropractor about a few things, I mentioned that I didn't turn my hips over when I was doing side kicks.. He's a martial artist, so he had an answer for it. I need to get a "wobble board". My friend, S, said she got one after one of her knee surgeries. She swears by it. I'm going to look into it. Dr. B says that working on my balance will fix my kicking. I'll be less rooted and more balanced. I think it'll make a huge difference in everything--forms, technique, one steps, ho sin sul. I might even get past the fear of falling that I have. It's certainly worth a shot!!

A little of this, a little of that...

I am doing amazingly well in NOT going absolutely bonkers and nuts, all things considered today. It's my late day, and I had training first off. I didn't get off my last call until 2:00 and will have to get back on the phone at 2:30 because I will run into someone else's break if I go until 3:00. It's a crazy thing. I don't believe in taking other peoples' breaks...they prefer that courtesy, I hope. That doesn't mean that they'll return it, but you know what? I'm making the effort! That's all that matters.

I've about decided that I'm a closet writer. I don't write the best things, but I love to write. I really need to decide WHAT to write and then actually sit down and write. I may surprise myself. I haven't truly decided what I want to do "when I grow up", but I'm sure that another 20 years of answering the phones may do me in.

Hubby gave me a new camera as a combined Mother's Day/birthday present. I've got to find myself a CF card or an XD card for it now. It can take either one. I charged the battery yesterday, so now I have to get busy and read the manual.
I won't call myself a photographer, only an amateur, but I'm enjoying it. I have a dear friend I learned a lot from. I have to credit him for how some of my pictures turn out. I took a close up picture of a bluebonnet that I can credit Rhys for because I wouldn't have ever thought to get that close to one before we became friends.

Anyway...I suppose I need to get back on the phone. I only have a little over 3 hours left until I get to leave for the day!!

The return of me....

I've been working on my mental issues this week and this weekend. I may finally be feeling less moody and less down on myself. I know I haven't been in the right place in my head, but I've been working on that. I'm trying to tell myself nice things daily. I tried it a few months ago and gave it up, but I'm starting over. I want to give myself a fighting chance to be the person I know I want to be. I want to be happier and healthier.

I'm looking forward to this week. I have to work, of course, because I haven't won the darned lottery (YET), but...I'm making the best out of THAT situation. I can't control the crap that goes on--the people who appear to be doing other things than answering the phones, but I'm not going to worry about that too much. I'm not in charge. Someone else is. Until they give me the go ahead to worry about the phones, I'm only going to worry about me, not about others.

We're going camping with the family next weekend and that's going to be a great thing. I'm really, really looking forward to it. Getting out and about, enjoying being disconnected from cell phones, mp3 players, etc. I'm looking forward to that. I promised the boys that if I could get their Den leaders to agree to it, we'll all go out in the woods, close our eyes and listen to the sounds of the birds we'll hear out there. I also volunteered to be the MC on Saturday night at the campfire, when the boys are doing skits (this is a Cub Scout Family campout). I think I can handle it. Anyone who knows me, knows I have a big mouth. LOL! I'm going to have fun with it.

Tuesday and Thursday is karate. I wasn't in class last week due to Cubs and not feeling 100%, so this is going to be a good thing. I'm seeing my doctor on Wednesday and will have a good report from him, I hope. As of this past Friday, he said he was fairly satisfied with my progress. I'm happy to hear that. It means that I'm doing better at controlling things like sitting with my foot tucked up under my rear, etc. I'm consciously thinking about that and correcting it if I happen to find myself doing it. He also told me that I need to build up my upper and lower body strength as well as my core strength. I found a series of exercises in Self Magazine that are great for 'tush tighteners' and they also work the arms and legs as well. I just have to remember to do them on non-consecutive days. I want these exercises to work, so I have to work on them three days a week. Monday, Wednesday, Friday mornings, then Tuesday and Thursday are karate. This will work out. I'm going to ask another friend who teaches mixed martial arts classes if I can come in and work with him a couple of times to get some serious cardio work in. I think I finally got serious. I really do.

I was able to find a couple of things I wanted to find this week...I found my language CD so I can review my Korean for class. I also found my other "foot" hidden in my closet tonight, so I have my complete sparring gear again. YAY! Now all I need to do is to get a mouth guard and I think we have one hiding around here somewhere. I'm almost prepared. My next step is to get myself physically fit and I'll feel better. I've decided that I need to get off my (bleep!) and start working on myself. I will feel better and will have a lot more self confidence.

Japanese Festival

Yesterday, Amanda and I went to the Japanese Festival in Fort Worth at the Fort Worth Botanical Gardens, in the Japanese Gardens. We went with the BTK ladies. It was a lot of fun. We heard Taiko drummers, saw some dancing and of course, martial arts demonstrations. The first martial arts demonstration was a Hanbo-Jitsu demonstration. That was interesting. They used various grabs and arm bars. We watched one big guy pick up a girl and she showed everyone how to get out of it. She literally swung her feet up, then used her momentum to get her feet back to the ground. Then she dropped a shoulder and threw the guy over her shoulder to the ground.
We watched them, then wandered off to the Zen garden area. Amanda made an origami crane (which I put into her purse, so it got mushed) and got her name written in Kanjii. We tried to do fish painting with the kids since we had three kids, but the ladies at the fish painting pavilion said they were out of paper.

We went out and had lunch out by the Rose Gardens. There were a lot of brides there, taking pictures. It was really neat to see. I think there was at least one wedding taking place because we saw a party of people who were in green dresses and of course, tuxedos. I don't think I saw the bride, just the bridal party.

One of our members, K, and her family brought lunch for us all. She spoiled us immensely. We had a mushroom and rice dish, Japanese meatballs, an egg dish that I liked (need to get the recipe from her!) and for an end, we had cheesecake. It was really good. She likes to cook and it shows. We were spoiled rotten by her. Thank you for that meal, K!!

After that, we wandered around a bit. The weather was misty, humid and very nice. It was peaceful in the gardens. They have a Zen garden that must take a long time to get it just right. There's also several connecting small ponds that are interconnected. They have very large koi in these ponds. The koi know that whenever something is dropped into the water, it's food. They literally will swarm the bridges and the areas near the edge of the pool that are accessible to the public. The caretakers of the gardens have set out food dispensers with kibble specifically for the feeding of the koi. Those fish are HUGE!! Amanda had a blast feeding them. This was her first visit to the gardens. I've been there before, but it has been many years since I was last out there.
There's also a large blue heron out there who regularly eats the koi. From what I was told, the groundskeepers call him "jaws". He's protected, so they can't do anything about it. I got a couple of pictures of him but I was too far away for a good shot. I need to get a new camera for long distance pictures, but that's a dream for another time.

We watched another martial arts demonstration before we left. This one was a combination karate and Tai Chi demonstration. His Tai Chi class demonstration was very serene and looked nice. I would like to take classes some time. If he wasn't out in Fort Worth, I'd be more than happy to take classes. I liked the way the Sensei ran his demo. He didn't have JUST his high ranked karate students out there. He had the full range of students, from white belt to black belt. I really enjoyed seeing it. He ran the demonstration as if he was teaching a normal class. He had the students run through katas. I could see the similarities between the forms I do in Tang Soo Do and the karate kata they were doing. At the end of his karate demonstration, Sensei came down to the mats and did a kata, which I think was Bassai. It was beautifully executed.

They had the Tai Chi students come back out afterwards and they had a group Tai Chi session with the audience. Amanda participated in that and says she enjoyed it. She followed the person in front of her and beside her and did fairly well.

This was the first Japanese Festival I've attended. I think if I'm invited again next year, I'm going.

UIL Competition

Oldest child had a UIL competition today. It was held at one of the local high schools. They had a competition in both playing and sight reading. The band, both Symphonic and Honors (which #1 daughter is in) took 1's in the competitions. I am very proud of them. They did a great job of preparation leading up to the competition. Last month, they had a pre-UIL competition and did very well according to their director.

The next step is for the kids who are getting ready to move on to the Freshman Center get ready for Marching Band. That happens on May 5th. Then we have a Spring Concert on May 28th. At some point, her hectic school schedule may simmer down a little bit, but I'm not 100% sure. There's still a summer time band camp for her to attend.

Bring on the ice packs

Today I went to see a chiropractor for the first time in many years. He was recommended by a friend and I decided that I'd finally get off my butt and go see him. They were able to get me in today (hooray!). He was a very kind and thorough guy. He doesn't strike me as the type to run a thousand tests on you (nor did he!) to get more money out of you. He doesn't have a huge office, nor a ton of people waiting and I think I liked that the best.

He examined me, took some x-rays and then put me on a "tens machine". They were trying to get the nerve in the lower back stimulated to respond better. That was a neat experience. It's like getting a lot of little shocks but it felt good, if that makes sense? It wasn't like a shock of putting your finger into a light socket or whatever. It was just a really good, tingly feeling.

After that session, he manipulated my back some. He had this table that was a bit like a "rack". He strapped my legs down and *stretched* the nerve that runs down the back. He also interpreted my x-rays and told me how we needed to approach the pain I've been feeling. (The pain has been a numb, tingly, sharp, off and on pain that has been with me for over a year. I thought it was my I/T band (ilio-tibial) but he thinks it's a pinched sacral nerve. I forget the name of the nerve, but he thinks that's the problem.

So, after he "tortured" me on the rack, he told me to go home and ice myself. I wasn't able to do it because I had to get Mr. A from school and make dinner, then I had class to go to. I went and had a lot of fun. It was an intense class!
We worked on a lot of things--Ho Sin Sul, One Steps. It was well worth going. I dont' regret much...other than not knowing how to speak Korean. We started out class with a warm up that included 10 jumping jacks per person. PER PERSON!!! 100 jumping jacks. YIKES!! LOL! My poor calves are a bit stiff and sore right now. I've already knocked back 32 ounces of water and may attack another one. We shall see.

It's time to get an ice pack out and and put it on my hip. I feel like I did a lot of good today. I got adjusted, then I went to class and worked hard. I feel like I made a huge improvement in my technique. I do need to remember to ask for help when I don't know something.

Now I'm going to relax.

Reviewing myself

I had Dan training yesterday and I had a chance to talk to Master G. I told him that I was in a better place in my mind. I'm not 100% over myself and my "wannas" but I'll get over it. There's a saying in the dojang--check your ego at the door. I'm not stupid enough to think that I'm as good as the Dans I trained with. I know I have MUCH to learn, but they were there to help me. I worked with Mr. L and had a lot of fun learning. He was so serious but such a good person to learn from. He made no bones about grabbing me during the Ho Sin Sparring. His goal was to grab me and my goal was to get out of his grip. In the past, I would have tried to avoid any sort of thing like that and would have made excuses for trying to get away. I had no option to do that. It was a serious training. It wasn't a "you have to do as little as possible". I like the challenge. I promised Ms. S that I wouldn't flinch (much!) when someone hit me. She warned me that I would be taking hits, but not to say "Ouch!" because they would exploit it and would work on me for that. I'm pleased to say that I didn't flinch (much!) about taking grabs. You know what? I'd be ready to do it again.

I am going to be working on myself. I want to get myself to the point where I'm not afraid of being me. I'm not going to be a whiny person if I can avoid it. I rather like myself the way I think I'm becoming. I didn't like the whiner I was. I've since been working on how I think. I'm leaving the "I don't..." outside the dojang. If I need help, I'm going to have to put aside my ego and ASK.
I do NOT know the Korean (hangul?), but darn it, I WILL learn it! I can now count to six in Korean...I'm working on that. I'm working on terminology. I'm not afraid to ask now. I make mistakes and now can laugh about it. (Ask my classmates about the 7 Class Tenents that turned into 8! There was extra credit for knowing the 8th one according to Master F!)

I still have much to learn. In terms of my learning, I'm just starting out on my journey in BTK. I'm feeling a lot of love and exasperation from my classmates. There are days when I'm sure they want to whap me upside the head, but you know what? I don't think I'd blame 'em for it!

Sore, but knowledge filled Saturday

I love hurting. It means that I actually LEARNED something!! Today was no exception. I attended the first Dan training I have attended in quite some time. You know what? I feel awesome (despite hurting)!! I truly feel that I learned a lot and can put it toward my training in my normal classes.

Master G taught us. He started us out with a quick self warm up for a couple of minutes, then, as there were enough of us to have to form two lines, we paired up with the person in the line ahead of us. I got to work with Mr. L. It's really good to work with someone different because you can't predict what they're going to do when you're sparring. More on that later...

We did a partner warm up with a medicine ball. We had to stand back to back, then one person lifted the ball up over his or her head to their partner. The partner then brought it down and passed it through their legs and stood back up. We did 10-20 of those. I think I blanked out on the exact number. It doesn't matter. It was a warm up.

After that, we did an "oblique twist". MG didn't call it that, but it fits it. With your ball, you are going to twist to the side and pass the ball to your partner, who is going to twist past the midline to grab it. It was a challenge to NOT grab my partner's hands. I got dizzy and when I talked to Master G after class, he said that if you don't breathe, you will get that dizzy feeling. It's good to know. He also gave us some pointers about practicing moving our hands to get in an extra workout for our hands and wrists. It improves the flexibility there too.

We worked on targeting our kicks. As Dans, we should be able to execute a kick well, but to be EFFECTIVE, you have to know how to target and how to hit your target. MG had us pay attention to hitting the target (we used the 'clapper' things and big pads). The first kick was an 'outside/inside crescent kick'...need to work on my terminology knowledge because I can see that I'm missing some thing.

After the inside/outside crescent (12 on each leg, twice), then we switched to side kicks. Again, we worked on targeting and on using our hips. You have to pay attention to how you move your hips and you have to PIVOT on that support foot, not lock it.

We also worked on sparring and Ho Sin Sul, in combination. We went slowly, but had to put the Ho Sin Sul in.. Basically, as you are sparring, let yourself be grabbed, then get out of it using the appropriate defense. It's a lot harder than it sounds. I had a hard time breaking free from Mr. L because he has a good, hard grip. I like things like that because I can learn from him while I'm working with him. I liked the combination of sparring and Ho Sin Sul. I would like to do that again.

Came home from class and have basically done very little. I wrote things in my training notebooks, but nothing else. I'm currently sitting on the couch with the cat and my computer.

Nice night for a walk

This is a bummer. We walked up to the junior high school tonight to go use the track. When we got there, we found that the track is locked up. No entrance. Big padlock on the fence. boo! That meant that I couldn't go running. Since I couldn't run, we just made it a nice round trip walk. It's 1.2 miles from our apartment to the school and I'm assuming it's another 1.2 miles back, so we walked 2.4 miles today. I've got karate tomorrow night, so a walk is out of the question, but probably on Wednesday we'll go walking again.

One of my friends had warned me not to let the weather get to me. I came close, I'll have you know! I came home, sat on the couch and thought about excuses. Then I got up, put my shoes on and we went walking. No, it wasn't the run I wanted, but at least I walked!! We were out for about 30-40 minutes, but we weren't walking fast. I'll work my way up to that. Google Maps says that the route is about 16 minutes on foot. If that's the case, I can cut it down in successive walks.

So. There you have it. I walked. Part one down.

SUNday

These little flowers are so bight, they appear to reflect the light. They were part of the pictures we took yesterday. I enjoyed that. I want to get out and go look for more wildflowers. I may have to wait for about another week or so in order to get some really GOOD pictures.

I'm sitting by the window, looking at the doves that keep flying up to the patio and tormenting the cat. Last week, we were sitting on the couch when a dove came up, perched on the ledge right outside the living room window and peeked in the window. We had the window open and Skeeter saw the bird. He went to the window really fast. We just laughed ourselves silly. That bird apparently wanted to find out what we were doing and Skeeter surprised them!!

Next weekend, I may actually start attempting to run. I figure I'll go to the track and start out with one lap first, then work up to two and so forth. I'm going to drag the kids with me. We might walk it first, then attempt a run. It'll be a good challenge. I don't know if the Middle School track will be open, but if it's not, the High School track will be. There are always people out at that track.
I'm setting a small goal--by the end of April, I want to confidently run 1 lap around that track. I don't know how long I want to say it should take me, but 4 laps is a mile and I should be able to finish THAT in 10 minutes. Time to work up to a ten minute mile. The whole point is to NOT get disappointed if I don't make the mile. The point is to TRY to get the quarter mile first and then work up to the mile.

First Saturday in April

This morning, we went out early and went hunting. We were hunting for bluebonnets. For those who aren't from Texas, the bluebonnet is the state flower. When they bloom, they don't bloom onesies or twosies, but rather full patches, like in the picture above. They are very impressive when they're in full bloom because the color is so blue, it's nearly purple.


The bluebonnets are hardy plants and very pretty. If you're lucky enough to be able to find some that haven't been invaded by visitors, you can get pretty good shots.

Whenever you see the bluebonnets, you will know that Spring has sprung.

Hooray for Friday!

First of all...HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ML!!
I don't know if you even read this blog, but Happy Birthday anyway!

I'm so happy it's Friday! I'm planning on taking advantage of the great weather we're supposed to have this weekend to open windows and let in some fresh air. Spring cleaning is here. I just hope I stay motivated. I haven't been too horribly motivated lately.

I'm leaving work at 4:00 today (or 3:30 if my boss will approve an extra 30 minutes), so that makes me cheerful. I can start my weekend off early. Little things like that make me happy. It's all about being happy. (snicker)

I think I've been happier this week than I have been in a while. I've been reading a book by Bob Harper called Are You Ready! Yes, it is THE Bob, one of the trainers from Biggest Loser. I found his book a couple of weeks ago and hubby decided that he'd buy it for me. I started it and while I have put it aside periodically, I've picked it up and am back where I started.
Chapter 2 was a definite motivator. It is titled "Accept where you are and forgive". Hmmm. Think that one speaks volumes. I have read that chapter all the way through once, but put the book down, so I'm going to pick it back up and re-read it.

Review and conquerI

I got to refresh my mind the on the Open Handed Arnis and the arm bar I learned last night from Ms. M today. I had a chance to demonstrate to the resident BJJ (Brazilian Jiu Jitsu) student at work.

I was able to demonstrate this to him because I trapped him in my cubicle. He had come in from doing an install of a fax machine and had forgotten something, so he came in to check on it. I reminded him of how the machine operated and then was able to show him some non work-related things. It was well worth it.
Of course, he had to show me a few things from his class. We talked about the similarities to that arm bar and one he showed me.

I also refreshed my memory by typing my notes to a couple of fellow students in class. It's fun to go back and look over your notes after they're not "fresh"...it's a good refresher. Tomorrow night I'll miss the next part of the Arnis...I've got a Cub Scout function I need to go to. I only have 2 more...would have been only this one but I didn't go to the meeting at the first of March because I was sick.

I am also reviewing forms and my 'c-step' as I want to get back into 'fighting form'. I really think I'm getting my head out of the darkness! YAY!!

Cubs. Karate. Missed classes

The last Tuesday of the month is a busy one. We have Cub Scouts at the end of the month, so I have to miss out on classes for that. The first Thursday of the month is also Roundtable, so I will miss class on Thursday.

When we finished with Cub Scouts, I took the young Bear (he was awarded his Bear tonight, so he's ready to advance to Weebelos ) with me and we went to my class. I had promised myself that if I had the time, I'd go to observe. I'm very glad I did. Ms. M was teaching some Arnis which was wickedly awesome.

They were in the smaller room, but at about 8:35, they moved to the Wooden room and they allowed me and the youngster to go in there with them. Ms. S told me that I should have gone in since they had been working on the Arnis. I was allowed to come in, observe and make notes, so I had to make sure that I got some really good notes.

I found out that Mr. B had also been there, teaching the first part of class. He had a tool box with him. In his toolbox was a hammer, a sledgehammer and I forget what else Ms. M said was in there. There wasn't anything in the bottom of it, but there was a really good lesson there. I've asked Ms. M to give Mr. B my email address so that I could get his talk on the toolbox from him. I'm a bit disappointed that I missed out on it, but...I'll just have to see if I can get the info directly from the source.

After class was over, I got Ms. M to show me the Arnis techniques she'd been teaching in class. That was incredible and awesome. I was thrilled to be able to work with her and learn from her. It meant a lot to me to get the opportunity to get some time after class to work on what I was missing out on. Even the young man jumped in and did the one exercise, a "wall press". (It wasn't actually sitting on it, but it had to do with inner strength.)

I also got to talk to Ms. M and apologised to her for my temper fit after class and during class last Tuesday. I told her that I had behaved inappropriately and that I owed her an apology. I explained why I'd felt like that. She said "everyone goes through it". I really appreciated her taking time out of her night to talk to me after class. That was something I appreciate.

Even though I didn't go to class officially, I think I learned a lot. I'm very happy and feel that I got a lot out of it. I am going to take what I learned tonight and put it to good use. I'm a lot happier and in a better place in my mind.

I'm ready to learn more!!

Epiphany?

I had an epiphany of sorts today. It all has to do with attitude and how you approach life.


Due to the way things have been lately, I've done a lot more soul searching and thinking than I would have done normally. I let my poor self esteem ruin my confidence and thought about that a bit. I put myself into a friend's shoes and then decided that I could do a bit more being like her. I owe her a huge THANK YOU!!

Thursday night I had one of the best classes I've let myself have in forever. I felt...surprisingly GOOD about it. I have told myself "I don't remember..." (fill in a form). That's self defeatist and I'm not going there any more. I will not allow myself to say "I don't..." Instead, I'm going to ask for help and refreshing my memory. I have to start that or I'll just hurt myself. I mean I'll hurt myself mentally and emotionally. I don't need that. If I'm going to stay in martial arts, I have to toughen myself up. I have a quote on the signature of my email that has maybe finally sunk in..."He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still. ~Lao Tzu "     

Wish List

We recently had visitors from out of state stay with us. They live in Idaho Falls. I've lived Washington State, but have never been to the Northern states such as Idaho, Montana, the Dakotas, etc. Hubby and I got to talking today about making plans. We had asked our guests if they were close to Glacier National Park in Montana. They aren't too horribly far, probably 2-4 hours drive, I think she said.
We are a 28 hour drive (Google Maps said it was 1 day, 4 hours to get there from here) away. We're now looking at the possibility of traveling up that way this summer. It would be a great experience for all of us. I know I would love being away from the 100+ degree temperatures that are Texas in the summer. The average temperatures during the summer up there are the 60s-70s. Can we say "climate envy"?!

So, on my wish list for now is a trip up North for the summer. It'll do us all good to get out and go electron free for a while. We may enjoy it!!

I feel good

I'm pretty tired and wiped out, but I have to say that I feel so much better tonight than I did the other night, it's not even funny! I got to work with a very patient Master who helped me overcome some differences in the way I learned and the way I need to do forms now. I feel much better about doing them.
We worked on the Keechyo forms: Keechyo Hyung Il Bu, Keechyo Hyung Ee Bu, Keechyo Hyung Sam Bu. Then we broke off and worked on forms with different people. I worked with Master M and Mr. S. We reviewed Pyung Ahn Ee Dan and I learned some neat ways to improve what I knew...It was a great refresher and I think I feel a bit more confident about being able to remember the forms now. n
We also worked on Pyung Ahn Sam Dan (that's the form I call "Superman". I'd love to see Oldman's take on that!), Pyung Ahn Sah Dan and then Pyung Ahn Oh Dan. I feel that I have a better grasp of the forms. I can actually SEE a few basic moves and why you'd do them.
During Pyung Ahn Sah Dan, I did the thing I have always done...I reached up as if I was grabbing a giant. I have to keep in mind that the grab (it's a collar grab) is not meant to be grabbing giants. It is meant to be grabbing a person who is roughly your same size. I would not be reaching for a person who is 6'9 when I'm only 5'3!!! Keeping that in mind will be beneficial.

We ended with Pyung Ahn Oh Dan. I can't call it "Oh dam" anymore because that one I actually had mostly in my head. Of course, I'd been talking about it with a friend via text messages and it's still on my phone, but that doesn't count. I wasn't looking at the phone when I went through the forms.


Over all, I feel MUCH better about this class than I did on Tuesday. I felt that I had a more open mind, that I was receptive to working hard on my forms and that I was receptive to asking for help. That's what I needed.

Don't make goals if they're unrealistic...

I think I just learned a hard lesson.
Last night, during class, I felt like a total failure. I called myself a fraud and let myself get discouraged and irritated with myself. I wrote a note on Facebook, whining about my "failure". My friends responded by telling me to think about it honestly and realistically. They told me that I'm only as good as I allow myself to be, but that I might be setting goals that are unrealistic, therefore causing me to lose my way.

I've let my own stupid ideals and "goals" get in the way of what I wanted to do. I thought that the natural progression of things was to keep pushing, to go to the next belt, and so on and so on. I lost track of ME. I lost my focus. Along the way, I think I alienated a couple of people I depended on. I SAID I wasn't focusing on a belt, but in secret, I set a 'goal'. I didn't live up to that goal and therefore disappointed myself.

I have spent days thinking about being "inadequate",and "incompetent". I was getting this, not from an instructor, but from my own misguided feelings of "this is the level I should be training at..." I set a bar too high and in my "quest" for that bar, I fell to earth. Hard.

Crash landing is rough.

I've had to rearrange my thinking. I won't say I'm totally over my whining right now, but I'm going to take a long, hard look at what I want. I've had a recommendation to start over at a different school, in a different style. Actually, I've had two recommendations. I do not want to start over. I prefer to stay in the school I'm in. A friend told me that I wasn't just going into a school, I was moving into a family.

I wasn't used to the family atmosphere. I came from a school where it was all "here's how you do this." There wasn't a WHY. I am not used to asking 'why'. I'm not used to the way things are done in this school. I am going to remove the scales from my eyes and open my mind.
I got a very good email from someone who is helpful. She's proven that she's a good friend. She pointed out that the number one thing about advancing is COMMITMENT. If you don't commit, you won't go anywhere.

I'm going to refocus myself and work on my commitment. I have to first commit myself to what I want to do. I need to commit to working hard. Hard work is not a bad thing. I work hard at work, so why not commit myself to the hard work of martial arts. If I want to be my best, I need to get off my butt and work NOW for what I want.

I need to look at what I do want. Do I want glory? No. Do I want to be a good martial artist? Yes. Emphatically, YES! I'm not going to get there by sitting on my butt, doing nothing. I have to practice or I won't get where I want to be.

In the meantime, I need to lower the bar. The goal is not to raise that bar so high you can't reach it. Instead, the bar must be at a reasonable level so that you can work toward raising it.
That is what I must do now.

Reality Check

I had a doctor's appointment this morning and got a hefty dose of reality. I have gained 21 pounds since my last appointment (last year). I actually got a chance to bring up some important points that have been bothering me, such as the stress I'm under at work. He listened as I explained to him that part of my "stress relief" is eating and eating and eating when I'm stressed. I admitted it, which is part and parcel of beginning to help myself, I hope. In a way, it feels really good to admit that. I am an emotional eater and I explained to him that I eat when I get overwhelmed at work. That's something that I need to work on. He suggested that I look into Weight Watchers again. It's got an accountability factor built in. I'm considering it. I may have to weigh the difference between Weight Watchers Online and actual WW meetings.

After the appointment, I came home and hung out with my husband. It's our anniversary, so we took a few days off together. We watched The 300 together. It was the first time I've seen it. Not a bad movie. It was a bit gory, but it depicted an interesting time in history. If you haven't seen it, it depicts the Battle of Thermopolye. It was the Spartans against the Persians. Very interesting historical references. I liked it.

My boss called while we were watching the movie and left me a message to call back. He thenasked me if I would be willing to come in tomorrow and work. I told him, "NO. I have plans for tomorrow." (Hub and I initially had planned on going out of town tomorrow but we're going to go look at a house instead.) Anyway, I *had* to say no. I always say "yes" and am feeling used and abused and not respected for doing so. Well, no more. I'm standing up for myself. I know that the department will be hurting with two people out (one of the guys has jury duty tomorrow), but I'm sorry. I just cannot keep interrupting MY plans for the company. If it makes me less of a company woman, well, I guess that's my loss.

We just got back from a walk. We walked over to the school and picked up our son from school. It was about a mile and that wasn't bad at all. My doctor wants me to go walking daily. He said that most of the patients he has who have lost weight successfully have done so by portion control, watching what they eat and exercise. I'm trying to start out on the right foot.

Vernal Equinox

Happy Spring! It started at 6:44 this morning for us here in Texas. Unfortunately, I know it's still deep winter in other parts of the world and believe me, I would much rather share my sunshine with you than know that you're buried under feet of snow!

Driving in to work this morning, I fairly conscious of my surroundings. I noticed how the trees have gone from the grayish brown of a few weeks ago to sprouting leaves. They're now a soft yellow-green color in addition to the grayish brown. It's definitely been Spring here. There are the Bradford Pears (my nemesis, apparently as I get stuffy when they show up!), and then the redbuds bloom out. Right now, there's a riot of birdsong every morning. We hear cardinals, mockingbirds and of course, the ever present doves. Those birds are around year round, it seems! I think there are blue jays out and about too. Every so often you hear a loud "cawing" noise, which Tony says is a blue jay. He's a better birder than I am. It's another thing I'm just learning as I get older.

Anyway, Happy Spring. I wish a pleasant and warm day to everyone.

Award!

Claudia, of Claudia's desk nominated me for a "When Life Hands you Lemons" award for my blog. I am honored and excited to accept this.

Now, there are some steps to go along with the award:

Post the logo on your blog.

Nominate blogs that show great attitude or gratitude.

Link to the nominees within your blog post.

Notify the recipients of the award by commenting on their blog.

Share the love and link back to the person from whom you received your award.

I have to share this award with Go West and Ferland Family. Go West, just simply because I love to follow her blogs. I enjoy keeping up with her as she's moved from one part of the country to another. Ferland Family--she's a determined mom who is doing her part to change the world. I'd like to nominate Black Belt Mama as well because she's been through a LOT in the past year and a half, overcoming a devastating injury to her knee, the recovery and then another surgery and now she's back into her dojang, working hard!!

Cub Scouts on Wednesday

It's been a fun day so far. Today we went to an FBI office with Aidan's Cub Scout Den. It was a very interesting day and one that I am glad I got to participate in. We all met at the school at 9:15, then caravaned out to the office, which is out in Dallas. It took us about 45 minutes to get there. I wasn't prepared for the one bridge we had to drive over---it was in the hov, or high occupancy vehicle lane. It took us from one highway to another and I wasn't expecting it. That was a bit disconcerting, to say the least. I had to have the mom who was riding with me talk to me or I'd never have made it. My poor daughter knew I wasn't very happy and kept asking me, "are you okay?" That's something I'll have to talk to my doctor about. There's nothing like driving and suddenly having your heart race and your hands tremble!!

When we arrived at the office, we checked in, walked through the metal detector and then went to the inner offices. We were able to learn a little bit about the history of the FBI, saw several things that they use in the course of their days and talked about how the FBI works. The boys got to try on bulletproof vests and were finger printed. It was a highly informational day. I truly enjoyed it.
We took Amanda with us and she enjoyed it too. Her comment to me was that she liked the guns. They had a display case that referenced the now infamous Bonnie and Clyde. They had a display about the assassination of JFK as well.
Overall, it was educational and well worth attending.

Since we got home, I managed to break the carafe for my coffee maker, so I havne't had any coffee at all. That kind of distresses me but I'll get over it. I'm debating walking over to Starbucks and getting a cup of coffee now. I'm in an "at home" mode, so that may not happen. We shall see.

Mail time...

Wow. I actually mailed a couple of letters out today!! I wrote them LAST MONTH, but I got them out today!! I'm excited. That was quite an accomplishment for me!
I've come to letter writing late in life. I haven't written nearly as much as I'd like to, but I'm trying. Most of my problem is that I get persnickety about what I write and then wind up tossing the letter. I wrote the letters, carried them around for a while and then mailed them. Not an accomplishment, but it works. I didn't chuck 'em out, which I usually do!

Why do I do this? Part of it is that I don't want my friends to think I'm a total bozo when I'm writing to them. I don't like rambling at times--I think it'll make people read my letters and say "HUH?" I'm seriously hoping that the three people who are destined to receive my letters don't run for the hills and ask "WHY ME?"

Full panic mode

Have you ever had a week like this?

Monday, I had a doctor's appointment, which I went to. Hated it, but went anyway. Tuesday was class, which worked me over. Fun, but I felt like I'd been seriously worked over. I would do it again in a heart beat. Really!
Wednesday was 'eh'. Yesterday, I had to miss class due to an Open House at my son's school. We had to go to that. I'm very glad we did, but it was tiring. I did get a chance to talk to my son's teacher and we discussed some strategies for helping him read better/more.

I told my daughter yesterday that I was going to write a check for her Six Flags Band trip last night after I got home from Open House. Did I? Oh no. Not only did I NOT write the check, but I didn't think about it again until I got an email from my husband, telling me I'd forgotten it. Nice! I had to email the band teacher and tell her I was a dope and forgot. I'll get a chance to make it up by sending the check the Monday after Spring Break.

On top of everything else, I was late to a meeting this morning and the guys will not let me live it down. I despise being late! I didn't get out of bed on time, so that was part of it. Then, when I got out the door, it was 7:08. If I wasn't already stressed out, that was enough to put me over the edge!! I wasn't the only one who was late, but that's not the point. The point is, *I* was late and I'm not pleased!!

This morning, I've had to help someone program a machine and install the print drivers on a computer in a remote location. Since it was me and the IT guy, we had to talk the end user through programming. That pulled me off the phone for an hour while we installed, loaded drivers and did some basic training. One of my co-workers wasn't pleased that I was out of commission for that hour, as it meant HE took the most calls. Yikes!
I'm going to have to work hard to get caught up. So far, I've only taken 8 calls. I have four hours left in my work day. Do I think I'll take the 30-40 calls I normally take? Not likely.

I feel like my week has suddenly spiraled out of control. I had a few questions I couldn't answer, I've got customers who are leaving me messages as if I'm the only one who can answer them and I'm tired. Stressed, tired, grouchy.

I need a vacation. I need to go outside, sit under a tree and listen to the rain falling. Did I mention that it's raining? Lovely, wonderful rain!
Right now, I'm listening to the guys in the corner, yukking it up. They do that a lot. I wish I had as much free time as they appear to have. I'm sure they're in between calls, but damnit, it's not fair to this side of the room to have them laughing and giggling and being so loud.

Warm weather

It was up in the low 80s today, so we took the family out walking. I seem to have recovered (mostly) from whatever it was I had last week. We walked past a house that we had considered going to look at. We skipped the house and kept going to the school, where we stopped at the playground. Aidan found one of his classmates to play with. Amanda and I swung on the swings and Tony went over to the basketball hoops and shot a few hoops. We're not serious about our athletics in our house, so this was just a mild Spring outing.
When we got tired of the playground, we walked over to the grocery store to get some things to finish a project Aidan has due tomorrow (it's a planet project) and dinner. Then we came home and are now cooking dinner and enjoying the evening.
I managed to get slightly pink, so I can say that I definitely got some vitamin D while we were out there. I've also nearly finished a 36 ounce cup of water, so I'm doing great there. I told hubby yesterday that I wasn't going to be content being an out of shape person, so I'm doing something about it. It's ultimately up to me to improve my fitness. This walk isn't going to improve my cardio very much, but it WILL make me feel better, and ultimately, that's what I'm after.

One of my friends asked me earlier if I'd made it to the track at the high school. I didn't go, but this was just as good. I did get my backside up off the couch and moved it. It was a perfect day for it. I feel really good about myself right now.