A day without caffeine?

Let me tell you, starting your day off without caffeine is not the best way to go. I don't usually have coffee before I go to the Black Belt Prep classes because I don't want to be dehydrated. I've done that once in a two hour class and I decided that once was enough! I usually come home and have coffee, but that didn't happen today.

This morning's class was a true preparation for the test. We lined up, figured out where we're going to stand, taught the Cho Dan Bo's that they need to face Kwan Jang Nim, and practiced the bowing in and the standing meditation. Then he got us organized for the actual test and we were off and running.
I was in front of a kid who is 17 or 18, very tall and, ahem! LOUD!! He also doesn't realize the extent of his reach and came very darned close to kicking me in the head. (I have asked Sa Bu Nim to move me or him. I don't want to be in danger of being kicked.)

When the second class of the morning started, Sa Bu Nim told me that *I* was going to warm them up. ME?! Okay! That was a bit of a fun thing for me. I actually stayed around a little longer than I had originally intended because I was enjoying the technique and working out. I also got to see my kids do their warm ups. My daughter did her push ups very well. My son has some work to do. His push ups are worse than his "elderly" mom and mine haven't been the best. By the way, *I* did 30 push ups in one minute.

We came home after the kids' class and I've been here ever since. I managed to do laundry with my daughter's help but nothing else. I'm very tired and have been dozing off on the couch. I watched/slept through Breakfast at Tiffany's. Audrey Hepburn was wonderful.
I'm going to be concentrating on forms all week and resting as much as possible. I know that Friday's going to be a great challenge. I can do it. I'm ready. I will try to have my friend Johnny take pictures.

Less than a week to go

There is less than a week left before the black belt test. It's one week from tomorrow. A LOT of things are happening, some are good, some are so-so. I'm not going to get all stressed out with nowhere to go. I'm going to try to maintain a cheerful, happy mood. I decided that I wasn't going to let my office stress me out anymore. I'm only one person and I can only do so much, you know?

Last night's class was a bit more interesting than usual. I managed to do 75 jumping jacks in a minute by NOT racing through them! That was a huge surprise to me because I *usually* get either winded or I feel like my legs are going to fall off from the fatigue of doing the jumping jacks. We also had to do a BUNCH of push ups. 30/20/15. 30 regular. 20 wide arm, 15 diamond. UGH. Not my favorite thing to do. For the entire time I've been going to class, I've been doing my push ups incorrectly. I *sagged* at the hips instead of staying board straight. Last night I did them correctly for the first time and man! I can feel the difference! My shoulders are letting me know I did them. It's a great feeling!

Tonight I'm going to Mr. A's Den meeting with him. Hubby is going to a Dallas Stars game tonight (bum! Didn't even ask me if I wanted to go!). I was SUPPOSED to go teach with Susan but that's not happening. I called her at lunch and told her. All the fun thing happen when I'm not there anyway.

This weekend is the final run-through of the belt test. I'm actually looking forward to it. I want to work on my Bong Hyung Il Bu plus the other forms I have to know for next week!

Video Share!

I want to be as wickedly awesome as these gentlemen are when I grow up!!! In my dojang, we don't work with the swords like this. Look at the precision they're exhibiting!! I admire them for this. It is really incredible to see this!! (Now you know the extent of my obsession! LOL!!)
The people in this video are Masters, which means that they're WAAAAAAAAAAAAY beyond what I am. I am only a Cho Dan, which is a first Dan. To become a Master, you've got to be a 4th Dan or higher. That's on my list of goals...
Enjoy!!

Counting down again

Yep, it's that time...countdown commences!
We've got the black belt test on March 7th. I THINK I'm okay, despite the stupid mistakes I made during the pre-test yesterday. See this...you're in a room with all the Cho Dan Bo's and the re-certs. Sa Bu Nim calls "Pyung Ahn SA Dan" and you do "Pyung Ahn SAM Dan". On top of that, he called KeeCho Hyung Sam Bu and I started out doing Ee Bu. HELLO? Where the heck was my mind????
Once we got past THAT little snafu, I got into the correct swing of things. I don't know why I didn't have the forms in my head correctly. Nerves? The fact that there's a lot of change going on? I dunno. Maybe I just wasn't thinking. I'll work on that. Cho, Ee, Sam, Sa, Oh....1, 2, 3, 4, 5
I know the Pyung Ahn forms...I really do...Pyung Ahn Cho Dan, Ee Dan, Sam Dan, Sa Dan, Oh Dan...yep, I know them. I really do know them.

I hated the warm up yesterday. I don't like falls and rolls at all. We had to roll from a standing position and I'm NOT the best at that. I also don't get up on my feet, which you're supposed to do. I don't like it at all. I'm a poor example of rolls. Possibly the problem stems from the fact that 1. I'm 60 pounds overweight and 2. I am afraid of falling. I do it all the time when I step wrong or whatever. I know that, but still...there's a huge difference between falling with style (wasn't that a line from Toy Story?) and just falling.

Next Saturday we have our run through of the test. Once we've done that, we're on track for the final show. I don't have to worry about board breaking this time. I only have to do one break and that's the firecracker break. I've got to get someone to hold a board for me but...I'm going to do an elbow break because it's my best break. I'm looking forward to that.

Should be an interesting test. Now, to get everything cemented in my head...

Robert Frost

Since I read that article Sa Bu Nim sent me, I haven't been able to get this poem out of my head.

The Road not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;


Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,


And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.


I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost

Thoughts on commitment

Yesterday, Sa Bu Nim sent me an email with a wonderful article for me to read. He sent it so that my daughter could also use it in her essay that she owes him (there's a LONG story there!). I found the article to be absolutely wonderful and it made me think. I'm copying it here because it IS so wonderful. It's about commitment.

How Committed Are You?
by: Curt Fletcher (The Likeability Guy)

As I think about the different choices we make and how we decide what fork to take on the road of life, Robert Frost’s “Road Less Traveled” keeps popping up in my mind. I can't seem to shake his title. And in thinking about the meaning behind his words, I began to reflect on my life.

Life is full of so many choices and so many opportunities. You hold the key to each door that you choose to open. Throughout your life, you will face with many challenges, choices, opportunities, and hardships. It’s in those moments of decision that you define your future.

When faced with a challenge, how do you respond? Do you step up, get focused and meet the challenge head on with confidence and excitement? Or do you grow cautious with anxiety over the fear of failure?

Fear of failure is the leading reason that most people settle for a life of mediocrity. The fear eats away at confidence, leaving you stripped of hope and desire. Fear of failure is something that every person has; it just may mean different things for different people. Fear of failure prevents many from attempting to improve themselves -- from applying for a new job, attempting new things, embracing change, or pursuing their dreams.

The road less traveled defines those individuals that when faced with adversity, hardship, and change, they overcame their fear of failure, and responded with courage, confidence, and charisma.

As I think back on my life, I remember always wanting to do the opposite of what everyone else was doing. If my co-workers arrived at work on time or a few minutes late, I would arrive an hour early. When nobody would volunteer for an activity, I would be the first to stand. If everyone was being negative, I would be positive.

In my teenage years, I often had to travel the longer, more difficult path to my desired destination, not because I sought that out, but because the easy road never seemed to come my way. I believe those years were the springboard for my determination to succeed.

We all face adversity and go through hard times. It is important to rise up from the moments that test our will. Stare down the anger, sadness, and frustration that you feel. Use these moments as fuel to ignite your fire to future success. It’s in the hard moments that you will gain the strength to persevere with new knowledge and experience.

So how do you gain this strength?

The answer is one simple little word that carries a big meaning and takes your maximum effort. Desire. Zig Ziglar defines desire as “the ingredient that changes the hot water of mediocrity to the steam of outstanding success.”

Desire is making an extra effort to create a small difference in a given circumstance. The extra effort creates enough small successes to generate huge success over the course of your lifetime.

Take a look around you at work. What do you see? A group full of future CEO's or a group of dazed individuals going through the motions of the day?

Many people dislike the very thought of getting out of bed to begin their day. They dread going to work and do as little work as they can to get by. Then, when they get home, they plop on the couch, watch some TV and go to bed. It's no wonder depression is at an all time high.

I challenge you to “take the road less traveled.” To be successful, you have to want it bad enough and challenge yourself to be different. Wake up each day with a positive outlook, do what other people don't want to, volunteer yourself for a difficult job task, and most of all allow yourself to dream. If you believe it, YOU can achieve it.

Curt Fletcher aka The Likeability Guy is the author of the New Real Estate Sales book, “How To Sell More Homes and Increase Your Income.” Curt has been a leader in Real Estate Sales by building relationships and providing value. He is a Sales Trainer and Speaker that focuses on Creating Relationships, Building Rapport, and Improving your Likeability to increase opportunities for success. To subscribe to Curt’s Monthly Newsletter, click here. If you want to sell more homes, click here! To contact Curt, send an email to curt@thelikeabilityguy.com

Happy Dance!!

It's Saturday, I had a great weigh in (shhh, I didn't go to WW but I DID weigh in!!)--my total is now 44.1 pounds lost!! I'm so happy about that!!! Now I want MORE gone! I'll get there, I know!

We had the Scouting for Food drive this morning with the Cub Scouts. Our pack did very well. We had 78 bags that were delivered to the food bank. That was despite the weather, which was rainy and cold. I was the official "counter" of the bags, so I got to stay at the school and wait for everyone to come in and deliver their cans. While we were there, I showed my daughter (who was waiting with me) how to do the Kee Cho forms very slowly. I also tried to show her the opening to Oh Dan, which is the new form this testing cycle. I still need to talk to Sa Bu Nim because she's expressing absolutely no interest whatsoever in practicing outside of class. This isn't what I was expecting. For a girl who was begging me to let her take classes last year, she sure is being resistant to practice. That's why Sa Bu Nim is getting involved. He's got to talk to her. All I get is eye rolling when I try to talk to her. That's what happens when you have an almost teenager in the house! LOL!

I am currently listening to tracks by one of my favorite artists who isn't a huge name artist. His name is Michael e. He's out of Sheffield, England. Very soothing, "ambient" music. I was just listening to a track called "Sunday" which is absolutely wonderful. It's the kind of music I listen to while I drink coffee in the morning. Definitely a good thing to listen to.

Friday

What a week this has been!
My daughter had an assignment to do for Sa Bu Nim that she not only did, she finished it by Wednesday. It was turned in yesterday. Unfortunately, she "didn't feel like going to class" which she needed. She won't be going to class on Saturday because she's going to be out with me at the Scouting for Food drive. We're doing that as part of Cub Scouts. Hopefully the weather is going to cooperate...it's expected to be rainy and very cold tomorrow.

I don't have a black belt prep class tomorrow which is good! I need the time off to keep resting my leg. It has been bugging me more than normal this week. I think it may have been aggravated by the kicks we did on Wednesday. We practiced our recoil from the kick. One of the instructors had us go up and down the big room doing front kicks, then round kicks, then side kicks and finally back kicks. The final drill was a combination of front, round, back kicks. The transition from front to round is not that hard, but if you don't put your foot down just right, you'll wind up falling on your face. We also did rolls. Rolls are NOT my strong point. I truly hate rolling and falling. Part of it is an excuse--I wear glasses and cannot see without them, so if I want to see what I'm doing, have to have my glasses on. I also don't want to accidentally roll on them and break them because I don't have a back up pair. I truly hate not being able to see. Another reason I don't like falling is a fear of pain. I don't want to be hurt. It sounds weird--I'm involved in a sport that involves throws and falls and I'm not excited about either one. Need to work on that.

(9:55 am)
We just got back from the doctor's office with the little guy. He has pneumonia and is doing MUCH better. This entire thing started on Tuesday evening when I picked him up from school. He was complaining of a headache. By 10:00 pm Tuesday night, he was running a fever of 101.7. It didn't go away, in fact, it actually got worse by Wednesday. His fever at its highest was 103.8. Tony and I traded out work hours on Wednesday so that one of us was at work and one was home with him. I worked the "first shift" for 5 hours, then he went to work until 6:30-7:00. Took him to the doctor's office, where the flu was ruled out. They did a chest x-ray and determined that he has pneumonia. He got a shot (not a happy camper with that!), the doctor gave us Albuterol and sent us home with a couple of prescriptions and instructions to keep him home.
The fever broke overnight. Mr. A had been sleeping as much as possible Wednesday--pretty much all day long. By 6:30 yesterday morning, he was up and awake. He asked to play on the Wii yesterday, so I obliged. :) (shhh, I'm a bad mommy!)
Today we had a follow up appointment. He's doing better--still out of school. Still on meds. The antibiotics will be finished on Monday so he's good there.

He has an awesome teacher who followed up with an email to me, asking about the little guy. She is fabulous! She caught the need for intervention early in the school year and has been very supportive of him during this year. I wrote her back and told her what was going on. He'll be back at school and just as ornery as ever on Monday. That means that he'll also go back to martial arts and WILL participate in class or I will know why!!!!

Sunday afternoon Treat

This afternoon, Miss A and I are going to see the Lipizzan Stallions in Dallas, courtesy of a friend and her mom. We're riding the train downtown and then will see the show. Hopefully we'll be back by 6:00 pm because I have a meeting at that time.
I'm actually excited about it. I haven't seen the Lipizzans in about twenty years. I was always a horse crazy kid--apparently it's a thing for MOST teenage girls. Miss A isn't one of those--her thing is Manga and Anime. She can draw anime characters really well. I'd love to see her explore other avenues of art besides the Manga and Anime. I'm not a big fan of anime. She borrowed a set of DVD's from a friend called Wolves' Rain. It was okay. I liked the music more than anything else.

Anyway...I am really excited that we're getting to go to the Lipizzans. I think they're some of the most elegant and beautifully trained animals. Knowing the history, that they were originally war horses that were trained this way for a reason is also fascinating. Click here to see what we're seeing today. I'm sure I'll be on cloud 9 or 10 by the time it's all said and done.

Falls and Rolls today

Quick WW fly-by...didn't hit the meeting but I was up to 200.5. I know it's not good but it'll get better. I'm thinking positively. I'm not accepting it. I've watched it go up and down this week and I'm sure it's the lack of drinking water. I can't sacrifice *my* health and not drink water just because of a shortage of co-workers, etc. That's not happening anymore. Uh-uh. I *will* drink water and I WILL see a loss next weekend. Anyone want to guess the amount? I'd be happy to get back my 43 pound loss. So far today, I've had 84 ounces of water.
Class was a lot different today. We worked on falls, rolls and of course, the Ho Sin Sul. I am not a faller. I despise falling--mainly because I am so big and I feel clumsy and awkward. I have to work on that...I won't get where I need to be if I keep thinking that way. It's very hard work but it's good. We did sweeps today--the one I had the hardest time with was the dragon tail sweep. We weren't working on each other, so that's a good thing.
Ho Sin Sul was a bit different. We didn't have enough people to partner up, so we got into sparring formation and everyone rotated through the lines. I worked with little kids as well as the teenagers. I tell you, there are two of the teenagers who picked *me* up! That was an "eek" moment. They're good at what they do. Sa Bu Nim told us that if we were working with a smaller person, that we should work on our side falls. The little ones could get into position for the actual throw since some of them didn't have their usual partners today. That was most interesting. My entire right side is sore from falling (but I slapped out every time and landed the way I was supposed to.

The tendonitis is acting up today big time. I've taken my Naproxen and we'll see how it responds to me resting it for today. I'll be doing a lot of walking tomorrow--my daughter and I are going to see the Royal Lipizzan Stallions with a friend of hers and her mother. We're riding the train into Dallas so I don't have to muck about with traffic (YAY!) on the highway. I like that idea!
We do have to walk from our train station to the American Airlines Center, but it'll be okay. .

Visit to a Cardiologist

Today I took Mr. Aidan to his cardiologist's office for a regular checkup. He hasn't been to see her since 2006, so it was time. According to everything everyone said, he's just fine.
He had an EKG and they took his blood pressure. The cuff they used just kept squeezing and didn't give a decent reading, so they stopped and started it again. Then they took him in and gave him an Echo.
The radiologist took the time to explain things to me while he was administering Aidan's echocardiogram. He showed me where the patch for the AP Window (aortopulmonary window) was-that was the hole between the aorta and pulmonary arteries. As he was developing in utero, it didn't develop properly. As a result, he was born with a hole called an AP window. It's not overly common according to the radiologist. They patched it and he goes in for follow up exams once every few years. The last time we saw the cardiologist was in 2006. Now we won't see her again until 2011.
While we were there, the radiologist showed me the patch (it's a white area in an otherwise gray area), he showed us Aidan's liver (he went "ewwww!" at that and his intestines!), his windpipe (he was really concerned about his Adam's Apple?!) and we looked at, of course, the heart. My little guy got to see his heart beat on the monitor and we looked at the blood pumping through the chambers. They looked for a "dropped heart beat" because I was worried about that. (he's fine)
They looked at the Doppler and we talked about that. We talked about the ability to look at the arteries to see if there was any blockage. So far, nothing can be done with Doppler. That's reserved for an angiogram.
I came away with a great feeling about this visit.

Dr. Kao did tell the little guy to exercise more. He needs to listen and actually follow instructions!! I'm just glad he's healthy and happy.

Weight update

The pre-test was this morning at martial arts, so I didn't go to WW. In fact, I've had a horrid week. I went UP 2 pounds and was at 200 for two days. That freaked me out. I drank a LOT of water and went down to 199 and then up to 199.5. After modifying my behavior more (more veggies, more fruit, more water, less salty garbage), I managed to hit 198.5 this morning. I'm right back where I was. I can't take my Naproxen for the tendonitis because I don't drink enough water and am, in the words of the mother of my daughter's good friend, "a water retaining cow".
I don't drink enough water WHY? Because I've let my job interfere with what is good for me. If I drink more water, my mentality kicks in that I'll be away from my desk too many times and gosh, the department will fall apart without me. This is blatantly NOT true. Okay, they do hurt whenever I'm out for a day or two. Why that is, I don't know. It shouldn't BE that way, but it is. Oh well.

So, the upshot is, I'm maintaining right around 42 pounds off. I need to get lower. I set a date of April 17th to get another 20 pounds off. That may not happen at the rate I'm going. I have to up my workouts because I think I'm getting used to the current workout. My martial arts instructor had us doing plyometrics last week so that's something I'm going to work on.

It was a little easier...

Please bear with me. I am extremely giddy right now. I just got home a little while ago from class. I didn't work out. Instead, I taught the class. We have a new student and Mr. B worked with her. I worked with the rest of the class on the forms and one steps they need to know for the test on Friday. Did I mention that I am working at said test on Friday?
I took my son to class tonight, worked with a couple of kids (who knew me and whose names I will learn!) and then went into the LN/YW class. I was late for that class, but I was there, so that was a good thing for me. I had my little guy in his class, I was in my class and we each got some work done.
I went to the Basic/Leadership class afterwards and helped our advanced students work on Bassai. We didn't work on Sip Soo, just Bassai. Sa Bu Nim called class and invited my son and a few others to stay afterwards for a talk on motivation. He explained the two types of motivation-external and internal. We had a "meet and greet" type of thing where a couple of the kids stood up and introduced themselves to the rest of the class. They said their name and rank. I think this is a great thing.

Now you know why I'm giddy. I need to work on my confidence but I'll get there. It's a matter of jumping in and getting my feet wet, in a proverbial sense. It'll work out well. I'm just excited!!

Saturday in review

Today--no WW. No black belt prep class. My son's Cub Scout Pack had their Pinewood Derby today, so I was there. Registration started at 8:30 and ended at 9:15. My husband had to work today so I was elected to go to the Derby. I didn't mind. I enjoyed it. We watched the Tiger Cubs run their races first, then the Wolves ran theirs and finally the Bears. We left during the Bear races, but we watched some of the race. We'll find out later who won the all around best car.

I had a pass to get out of the class today. Unfortunately, next weekend is going to be VERY rough! I may have to get up really early, eat breakfast at 5:00-6:00 and then hit up class. I have my second pre-test next week. I don't know how the leg is going to hold up because it's been bugging me lately. Tendonitis is not fun! I'm not happy about it but I've been pushing the envelope a little more than I possibly should have. If it's still bothering me, testing is going to be an interesting experience. I've not been taking my Naproxen because I am a magnet for water retention, especially since I don't drink enough water to begin with. I Googled the side effects of Naproxen and guess what? "Fluid retention" is a side effect. Peachy.

My first class!!

I taught my first class last night! I have been helping and somewhat teaching the Little Ninjas and Young Warriors but...I taught my first ADULT martial arts class last night!
We lined up, bowed in and then Sa Bu Nim looked at me, said "Warm them up!" and walked out of the room. I was soooo freaked, it wasn't funny! The warm up was okay but I wanted to join in with them. I'm not used to being the one at the front of the room!

We did a quick warm up, then I had everyone line up in front of the mirror and we practiced all of our forms that we knew. There are 7 people in the class who are testing for their next belts on the first and I had to help them get ready and make sure they knew their material.
I should really get together with B and M and help them with their techniques. I will have to tell them that I'm available for them.

So today, I've been talking, ALL morning about it! I'm that excited! It was just a great thing and a HUGE show of Sa Bu Nim's confidence in me. It goes a long way in building MY confidence levels up too. I need more confidence and this is the way to do it. I don't have to have the "deer in the headlights" look. I also turned several shades of red last night and Tuesday night. Next Tuesday I have to teach BLACK BELTS their bong form. ME! Why? Because I moved during our last class, didn't step up when he told me to (my "other son" was my fill in that night!) and I'm taking CIT classes to learn how to teach. Open mind, here I am. I need the critique from these kids. What makes me nervous is that they ARE kids--these are all teenagers who have their second and third dans and here I am, a barely Cho Dan (first Dan) and I'm teaching. Plus, I'm in my mid forties. Wow!
Now you know why I need confidence!!

Oh so tired!

Getting up and out at 7:30-7:45 am when it's 24 degrees is NOT an easy thing! It's really hard when you were previously snuggled up all toasty and warm under a bunch of covers, with a cat purring in your ear.
Class this morning was...COLD and challenging! We ran through a warm up to warm us up. There's a very bad pun there, I think.
We had a good workout. Sa Bu Nim had us run through techniques and Ho Sin Sul today. Ho Sin Sul is self defense. That includes wrist locks, shoulder throws and hip throws. I need to work more on those. The major problem is that working on them outside of class involves either children or hubby. Hubby likes to show me that he knows more than me and gets into a "I'm going to stop you here" mode. He isn't the best possible partner for working on Ho Sin Sul. I'll have to work on it with the kids. It'll help teach all of us and we'll be able to get some additional practice in at the same time. I SHOULD stay around for the Leadership Team classes at the end of the Basic classes so that I can work with them. That's another idea.
I have to miss a class next weekend because of a prior commitment for Cub Scouts. Hubby's working, so I have to take the little guy. I'll have to attend an extra class or something. I have classes at least two nights a week, so a third night is definitely a possibility. Have to convince hubby to get the kids fed. I'll hit up the Black Belt class on Tuesday. I have to be there for class at 7:00 anyway, so...6:00 isn't that much extra, only an hour. It's worth thinking about. I don't THINK it's my second pre-test but we'll see. I have to talk to my friend DB about it too. The really bad thing is, we're supposed to work on Bong Hyung Il Bu in that class. EEK!!

I think I've figured out that being dehydrated has something to do with the fatigue I'm feeling. I have just drunk 60 ounces of water and feel SO much better! I didn't drink nearly enough yesterday and it's affected me today. Then to have class this morning--only had a litre of water this morning and then nothing but coffee for the rest of the day. No wonder I'm worn out!! I need to watch that and improve that!!

50 days until Re-Certification

50 days until re-cert. I did get a chance to work on my forms last night and that was a good thing. The ONLY real issue I had was that my stances were really poor. I don't care HOW sore my leg is (did I mention I have tendonitis in my left hip?), I have absolutely NO EXCUSE for not holding a good deep front stance. For Pyung Ahn Sam Dan, there is a stance that requires you to step into a bent-knee, crossed foot stance. That stance about killed me last night! I had even taken an anti-inflammatory and it STILL hurt!! The boy I was working with had his stances right, but he had a few things to work on too. I wasn't alone with needing minor tweaks to the forms. Bassai was another weak spot for me last night. I was also off on my count for Sip Soo and THAT is totally unacceptable to me! I'm very fussy about my forms and want to do them at 100% accuracy. However, as Master St. James says, "the only room is room for improvement." so I know I was there. I definitely was in that room last night!

I also worked on Bong Hyung Il Bu last night. I got it down, I think. It was a good thing that I got to practice it. I feel a bit more confident in the form. I just need to make sure I get myself to run through it tomorrow too. I have the day off, so I'll work on it for a little bit. I want to make sure I get the forms worked on tomorrow. I do have a meeting at my son's school in the morning, then an appointment with my old cat at the vet's office.
Then it's home to rest again for an hour--I'll have two giggling girls in the house for the afternoon and that'll be fun. I've got to decide what to do with them. I may set them up in my room with movies and popcorn. They'll like that!!

Setting goals

I am going to set myself some goals. I have issues with keeping myself on track with water, so one of my goals is to drink no less than 48 ounces of water in a normal day. Today, I've made that goal and have had 72 ounces of water. Not too bad. I think it's okay. That's one goal.

Another goal is to practice my forms daily. I need to make sure that I am doing everything correctly. Yesterday I actually ran through Nahainchi Cho Dan and Sip Soo. Today I have only worked on technique, but it WAS a practice. I practiced high knife hands, cat stance and moving forward in a cat stance. That's a new "game" I've created for the kids called "Ninja walk". You get into a cat stance, where you've created an 'L' with your feet--you put all of your weight on your back foot and have just the toes of your front foot or the ball of your front foot on the floor. The point of it is to be able to spring forward to pursue an attack if needed. If you turn your front foot, almost into a ballet stance, then ROLL as you shift your weight from the back foot to the front foot. This puts you into the correct position to perform a middle chop or something along those lines.
It's another technique that requires exact form. I *finally* have the "ninja walk" down!!

So, today I only worked on technique, but tomorrow, to escape the frustration of the people I work with (very stressful, that group!), I'm going to work on Bassai and then work my way back. I need to practice Oh Dan, Sam Dan, Sa Dan (and do Sam Dan correctly!), then Ee Dan and go backwards to Pyung Ahn Cho Dan, etc. I also need to practice Bong Hyung Il Bu at some point.

January 12, 2008

Class this morning was MOST interesting, to say the very least. We ran over by about 45 minutes because we were testing. We had to go through techniques--hands, kicking, jumping and forms. I was able to do the hand techniques and of course the usual jumping jacks, push ups and sit ups. The entire point of this pre-test was to weed out those who needed additional work on their forms and those who needed a LOT of work on their forms.

I did the hand techniques but was told to sit out once he started everyone on the kicking techniques. He was informed yesterday that I'm on limited physical activity for a couple of weeks. I still managed to give a good showing of the hand techniques. One of the instructors told me after class that I did pretty well with my techniques.

This was the first point of me observing a test from an instructor's standpoint. I enjoyed it because I watched the kids who are in this cycle and saw where improvements could be made. I don't know these kids personally, so there's no favoritism there. I was able to constructively remind them to watch their "silent hand", pull their knees up when kicking, etc. There are a pair of brothers who are re-certs and I see HUGE improvements in their techniques. Lucas in particular, is very much improved.

We had to pull some of the kids out to perform the forms individually. It's a distressing thing to see a kid who has made it to Cho Dan Bo go through a pre-test and either fall apart because of nerves or because they really and truly don't know what they're doing. One of our kids was in that boat today.

I skipped WW this morning so that I could be rested and have breakfast before this test. When you have to do 75 jumping jacks, 30 regular push ups, 20 wide-arm push ups and then 15 diamond push ups, followed by techniques, then another 100 jumping jacks, then 45 seconds of push ups (I did 28!) and then 45 seconds of crunches (I did 40!!!), if you don't have the energy, you'll be passed out on the floor and they'll be pushing you out of the room because you're in the way.
Even though I didn't go for an OFFICIAL weigh-in, I was still down to 197.5. According to my doctor yesterday, in 9 years, I've managed to lose 58 pounds. He said that was the BEST thing in his opinion. He pretty much patted me on the back yesterday, so I won't complain about my weight anymore. I'm where I need to be for my health.

The verdict is...

Sigh. I have been fighting with pain in my left leg/hip for about two months now. I FINALLY went to the doctor today and guess what?? I have tendonitis. He originally was worried about my actual hip (the bone) but it's not that. He's thinking that since it's been so long and because it's associated with any kind of...I think he said "external rotation" (I'm badly paraphrasing) causes pain, it's tendonitis. Yeah. Yay. I am SUPPOSED to be "taking it easy" for the next two weeks. He gave me a prescription for an anti-inflammatory. It's a different one than the last one, which causes me to swell up. I haven't filled the prescription yet. I'll be doing that here shortly.

I'm on vacation today. I'm just hanging around, not doing much of anything. I have laundry to do but that's it. I have my prep class tomorrow with a pre-test and I'm going to be rested up for that. I kind of got a bit panicky with my doctor because this upcoming test is sooo important to me! I really need to do well for this test. I have to work on my physical conditioning too, so I've got to get busy with that. I should start walking a mile this weekend to see if I can get it done within 7 minutes. I think I'm supposed to be able to walk a mile in 7 minutes or less. I do believe he said that we're supposed to run a mile in 10 minutes or less, so a 7 minute or less mile, walking, is a good goal to strive for. When I can hit that goal, I'll work on another goal. I didn't walk or run any marathons last year, so maybe I can look toward that this year. Just another thing to put on my potential agenda!!

Prep class review and random thoughts

If you THINK you're working hard, you probably aren't. How do I know this? Because after the workout yesterday, almost every part of me aches. I only *thought* I was working out hard in class!!!
Yesterday was the first of my black belt prep classes. Yes, I've already achieved the rank of black belt, but I have to re-certify for the Federation, so I have to take classes to make sure that I know the forms and the one steps and do them correctly. The importance of doing the forms correctly is emphasized here. Plus, this time around, they've added physical fitness test to the mix, so you have more work to do.

The morning started out with a minute's worth of jumping jacks. I am happy to say that this old lady can knock out 70 jumping jacks in a minute. (While that may not be overly spectacular, given my impression of jumping jacks, I think it's actually rather good!!) After that, he made us do 30 (I think) push ups, then we did another 50 jumping jacks. We also did one legged squats. There was also an exercise where we got into a push up position and brought first one leg, then the other up between our hands. It's like a split, but not quite. Those I can't do, courtesy of my left quad. (note to self--get thee to the doctor to have that checked out ASAP!) The one legged squats were the hardest, I think. You have to basically go into crane stance, but keep your hands up by your face. The foot you are NOT balancing on cannot touch the ground. Sound fun? Yep. Try maintaining your balance being still 50+ pounds overweight! I digress...

I was fairly pleased with my performance on MOST of the forms. I still have issues with joon be on Bassai, Nahainchi Cho Dan and Sip Soo. I know that Bassai is left foot raised, Nahainchi Cho Dan is right foot raised and Sip Soo is left foot raised. Then you have to add in your hands as well. It looks really neat when it's done correctly by someone who isn't balance challenged. I stood next to a 14 year old from my belting class and watched him out of the corner of my eye. It's obvious, even to me, that he practices. I see major differences between him and myself. I need to work more on practicing on my off days from class. (Off days? What off days? I practically live up there--classes four days a week plus the prep class on Saturdays.)

This morning I feel older than my 42, almost 43 years. I'm stiff and sore in places I didn't think would be stiff and sore!! I don't mind it though. It reminds me that I got an excellent work out in yesterday. I decided this morning that I'm taking the family to one of the local parks and I'll work on Bong Hyung Il Bu since that's something I want to nail. I am determined to go to the next class having my forms look better than I think they look now.

I had a talk with Sa Bu Nim McGee a few weeks ago and mentioned to him that I felt like my stances had gotten better. I said I was seeing improvement in myself. He said that it's possible that I'm seeing where people are making their mistakes and that I've been making the same ones, but now I'm correcting my mistakes automatically. Must be because I'm learning how to spot the mistakes and correct them in others, so I can correct them in myself.


Sa Bu Nim told us in class yesterday that we needed to keep a practice record and have our parents sign it. Well, I'm the parent, so I have no one to sign mine. I asked Mrs. T if she'd sign mine for me. She's my 'boss' in the LN/YW class and is one of my best friends. We had a good giggle about that.

Looking forward, I know what I need to do to make improvements. Next week is the first of three pre-tests for this belt test. It's on forms and I'm going to have a good pre-test.

First re-cert class-January 05, 2008

The first of 8 weeks' classes is over. I'm wiped out too! This morning has been VERY busy! I got out and went to WW (lost what I gained last week so I'm back on track!). I stayed for 20 minutes of the meeting, then raced out to the car and headed back to Allen. I made it to class with *minutes* to spare. I had my uniform in the car, so that was an easy thing to deal with--just grab and go! I got changed in nearly record time and was a minute or two late to line up, but not enough to freak out. What's really embarrassing to me is that I am an instructor and can't be late as I'm in the front row. The Cho Dan Bo's see me walk in and they must be wondering why I was so late! I've got to refine that process. I can do it.

We worked--HARD--for two hours. My friend Susan brought the coffee, so I was thrilled to pieces with that! I didn't have breakfast, so there were a few points where I got light headed and dizzy. Today's work out was advanced forms and weapons. I hadn't picked up a bong until last night when I was showing the guys at work how we worked with it. I now have to create a work out schedule/log and stick with it. I want to ace that form (Bong Hyung Il Bu). I have to work on the other forms too, the non-weapons forms. I can do Sip Soo well. I should as it's my newest form, but I REALLY need to work with it. We did Sip Soo, Nahainchi Cho Dan and Bassai today. Wait, we also did Pyung An Sam Dan, Oh Dan and Sa Dan. I know where I need to improve and that's something I'll start doing on my own at home. If he expects an hour a day from the kids, he'll get it from the adult in the class too.

I'm excited. I can already see how this is going to work. I am able to get many of my chores done Friday night, so I'll have Saturday as a "free" day after my class. Just need to figure out WHAT to eat that will give me energy and not sit heavily on my stomach when I go to class. I can't take another dizzy day! I ate when I got home and have finished my first 30 ounce glass of water for the day. MORE water! LOL!
I'm in a great mood and I'm sure this is going to carry over into the next week.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year! May you have a year full of success and happiness in every endeavor you undertake!

Tomorrow is my first class after the Christmas break. I'm really excited about it. I want to get in and work really hard. Unfortunately, with my left leg acting weird, I'm not sure how well I'll be able to do the kicks and such. My daughter body-slammed me on Sunday and it's been acting up again. I went out walking today to try to get an idea of how it feels. I'm still thinking of going for another walk this evening. That's just a thought. Mr. M told me a week ago Saturday to rest it and not worry too much about it. Rest it I have, but...it's still bothering me.
I can't let it bother me since I have to get busy and work on my re-certification.

After gaining six tenths of a pound last week, I've been really conscious about my eating habits. I don't want to be overly paranoid, but...I HAVE to eat "clean" and stay on plan if I intend to get another twenty pounds off. I haven't set a time frame for that twenty, but...that's another ten percent and I am determined to make it. I still haven't figured out the logistics of Saturdays...get up and dressed, get to McKinney for weigh in, then attend at least 15 minutes of the meeting (meetings are 30 minutes long. They start at 7:30 and I have to be at the dojang at 8:00). I'll have to sprint out, get to the car and zip down to Allen to the dojang by 8:00 to attend the training classes for two hours. Hubby will bring the kids up to the dojang for their classes, which I'll probably assist with. Then it's clean the dojang and head for home. Somewhere in that time, I'll have to eat too. Haven't figured THAT out yet. I'm going to work on it...I usually don't eat before weigh in because I'm paranoid. I think I'll take something with me to eat during the meeting (peanut butter sandwich and an apple??) or in the car on the way to class. Just have to figure it out.

So, right out of the box, I go to work, then to teach and then to my class. Thursday, I have to teach. I'm probably going to skip Thursday's class and help the kids with homework. They'll be back at school that day and will need to have the help with getting back into the swing of things.
It'll work out.

Introspection

This morning I spent some time thinking as I drove in to work. It's no different from most other days, but for some reason, today I was thinking about how lucky I have been this year. I have been lucky enough to have a job, even though I hate the fact that I have to go to work every day. I have been lucky enough to have good friends who help me get through rough patches. I've gotten to meet a friend from the Internet, I've corresponded with people from a group whom I think are just wonderful friends. It's been an interesting year.
I can't say that it's all been good, but it hasn't been terrible. I earned my black belt. I am watching my children grow up and learn about how rough life is. I've had to put one of my children on medication and have endured my husband's unhappiness over it. I've put aside MY unhappiness and take great joy in seeing his successes.
I had a compliment from Master St. James in September, after my belt test--he said that I had a good attitude. That gave me a bit of a smile. I worked hard and I wasn't going to let a little bit of discouragement over doing a form incorrectly set me back.

Looking ahead, there are many things planned. I am re-certifying in March for my "official" belt with my name on it. I'm one of the instructors for the Little Ninjas/Young Warriors classes and I'm enjoying that. My kids should, with any luck, achieve their next belts (green/black and orange/black respectively) in the next month. I will be there to assist at that test. I am a member of the CIT program at MA and loving that. I have more responsibility at work and am less stressed out there too.

I'm losing weight (albeit slowly and with some minor setbacks) and I'm happy. I feel like I'm accomplishing a whole lot more than I've ever done in my life. There may be truth to the saying that "Life begins at 40". I feel like I'm becoming successful.

Merry Christmas

It has been a wonderfully relaxing day. We spent a quiet day here at home. The kids played with their new things while hubby and I watched a couple of marathons on television. TBS played A Christmas Story and SCI-FI played Stargate SG-1. I enjoyed that!

I'm going to print out my bong form tomorrow and will work on it during lunch. I've pretty much decided that my best practice time outside of class will be during my lunch hour. I don't need to spend the entire hour on the Internet when I can work on my bong form. I think it'll help a lot. I am determined to go back to class knowing that form, so it'll be a good goal to work on.

I also need to get the kids learning their newest form. If I can get them to the point where they're proficient at all the forms and where their stances are good, they'll go in with an advantage after the break. Tomorrow, that should be something we work on. It will help them to have some time to practice their forms again. I just need to convince the Young Man that he is NOT learning Sip Soo and will learn Ee Dan instead. When it's time for them to learn Sip Soo, they will learn it.

I have quite decided that having two kids learning martial arts at the same time is fun. I'm still training and am learning to be an instructor. They're learning to be martial artists. It's a lot of hard work but I am spending time with them that I wouldn't trade for anything. Plus, I see them developing as people and that's a heartwarming thing. I am watching my kids grow up.
They'll earn their Cho Dan Bo's around the same time. The Young Man will earn his first and then the Young Lady will earn hers. She's about 2 belts behind him, but that's because she started mid-June and he's been doing his martial arts since LN/YW. He graduated YW as an orange belt. Now it's time to knuckle down and do lots of hard work!!! As for my Young Lady, I fully expect that she'll outshine me in how well she does with her classes.

Christmas Eve...

I'm in a fairly good mood, all things considered. Saturday was w/i. Not too bad. Not great but not bad. I lost .4, bringing my total loss to 43 pounds. In a year and change, not too bad. I can deal with that! Since then, I've lost another couple of pounds. I weigh daily, which I know you're not supposed to do, but I record it for my own mind. I feel like I'm doing SOMETHING right.

On Thursday, during the black belt class, I managed to do something to my left quadriceps (again!). He had us go to a push up position, then you were to bring your right knee up to your chest, push off and run to the opposite end of the room. I couldn't even get into the push up position--that's when my leg went "PING!" and gave up on me. It HURT! He made me sit out the rest of class. So much for my 2 hours that week!! I couldn't even spar because I'd have put too much strain on it. Of course, Saturday I went walking for 3 hours so that was a world of good for it. NOT! Now I'm working on rehabbing my leg. I have to re-certify for my belt and we start the training, the really intense stuff, on January 5th. I want to get into the most excellent shape ever because we're doing a PT test with it!! I have to pass this PT test. You have to run (or walk) a mile, push ups, crunches, I'm assuming there will be jumping jacks too.
I just want to get to the point where I'm not injured. I don't like it! It happened, fortunately, AFTER the black belt test, but before my re-cert, so I'm freaking out!!

I figured out how to teach the Young Warriors how to do an Inside/Outside block. Since you have to chamber, I told them to make like they were hugging themselves. You put your right hand on your left hip and bring your left hand up to your right ear. Then you make like you're drawing a sword from your left hip and you stop in front of your shoulder. I told Mr. M about it and he said that it was a good way to describe it. I'm going to perfect it on my son. He's not that long past Young Warriors and will benefit from the additional work. I'm going to try it on my daughter too. If I can get them doing that correctly, I won't freak out over their forms at the next Gup test. That test is now about a month away--it's February 1st. I want to make sure both kids are ready to go and that they're significantly improved. My silly boy wants me to teach him Sip Soo, but that's not on the plan. The lesson plan is to teach Pyung An Ee Dan, so that's what they're going to work on. Of course, it never hurts to refresh all of our memories on the older forms, so I'll work with them on the KeeCho forms as well. I have to practice my bong form and intend to have it perfected before the end of this break. I can go outside and work on it. The weather is perfect, we have the room out there and I think everyone will appreciate getting outside in the fresh air. That's going to be a goal of mine for the next few months. Whenever the weather's cooperative, we're going to pack up and go to one of the local parks for a workout.

Tuesday WW update

I ate truffles yesterday at work. WOW! 3 truffles=6 points. Am I obsessed? I like to think NOT. I like to think that I'm only trying to be mindful of what I'm eating. I didn't do so well yesterday--I've gained .5 pounds overnight. Well, I'll get over that. :) I'm back to watching everything I'm eating. The guys at work are telling me that I'm "obsessed" by my weight and by counting points. I have to remind them that no matter how dorky they think it is, I've accomplished a huge loss in a little over a year. I do NOT want to backtrack!!

I allowed myself to have 2 of the homemade cookies one co-worker's wife sent to work with him. According to the WW site, 2 small homemade cookies are 3 points. I am not eating any more. I'm going to be careful because I don't want to backslide. I expect to see something good happen on Saturday and I need to get UN-complacent (is that a word??). I don't want to just slide by and go "Oh, I'll get on the wagon tomorrow" like I have done so many times in the past. I need to keep going and I really need to be conscious of everything I am doing, whether it's eating or drinking water.

Tonight we have a concert at the school for my daughter. She's second chair flute, so we HAVE to go see that. I won't be working out tonight or tomorrow night (dinner with my department-mandatory, darn them, *at a Mexican restaurant!!*), so I'll have to be overly cautious and be careful about my choices. If they don't like it, too bad!

Another WW update!!

I had my usual Saturday morning meeting today. Now bear in mind that I haven't been to meetings since September 29th. I went back last week after making a promise to my best friend that I'd get back on track. I had gained 3.4 pounds in that time frame. I'm happy to say that I've lost it again. I'm back to 42.6 pounds GONE! This makes me happy because I didn't go in the wrong direction.

Today we talked about the Weight Watchers from the 70s. There were a couple of ladies who had followed that plan many years ago in the meeting. They had a lot of weird, probably not medically sound, "diet mentality" things they were doing...one of the things these ladies mentioned was the *6 meat servings* in a day, that you HAD to eat?! EWWW!! I eat meat but 6 servings *in a day* is too much for me!!! Some days I don't eat meat at all. It all depends on my mood. I guess that my peanut butter counts as a meat, but geez, eating THAT much meat?! I'm glad I have the plans I'm following now!!

The major reason we talked about this was that WW rolled out their new and improved meeting materials this week. We can all "start over" in a matter of speaking. We got a new Week 1 book and a booklet titled "KickStart Your Success". It's got information about the Flex Plan and the Core Plan. I personally follow the Flex plan, where you have a given number of points daily and 35 "flex" points a week. The idea is that you have the extra points, but that you don't necessarily have to use them. My goal is to eat my points (or stay under a bit) but not to dip into the flex points. MOST days I can stay within points. This past week, I didn't do so well because I actually went over on Thursday and on Friday. No matter how many fresh veggies and fruits you eat, no matter how much water you drink, if you go over on portions, you'll gain. I know this from experience. I'm not getting down about it. I've already gotten over that.

So this morning, at W/I, I went to the usual lady I go to. I absolutely adore Bernice. She's lost something like 150 pounds and is just one of the sweetest, funniest people around. She saw me and told me it wasn't that cold. I told her, "I'm that cold!" We laughed as I unearthed myself from my coat, gloves, and shoes, put everything down and got ready to get on the scale. When I stepped up, she told me I scared her! LOL! I had a really great week, despite not journaling and keeping up with it like I'd planned.
We got a laugh about me scaring her, but it felt good to see that number. I also surprised another lady, Doris, when she saw me there for the second week in a row. She asked if I was coming in next week and I said "YOU BETCHA!" I'm going back. 21 times makes a habit--I have 19 times to go to ingrain the habit.

I start training for my black belt recertification test on January 5th. That class is at 8:00, so I'll get into uniform, go weigh in and attend most of the meeting, then head to the class and work for 2 1/2 hours. Then it's home to drink LOTS of water and recover. We won't even TALK about the fact that for THIS test I have a PT test. (anyone want to be a "pinch runner" for me? I have to run a MILE and I'm NOT a runner!!) I think that over the holiday break from Martial Arts, I'll go out and either walk or run after work. Who knows, maybe I'll wind up liking it. It'll be a challenge, like my belt test was.

Mindfulness

I have been watching everything I do this week very closely. I have been drinking LOTS of water and making sure that I get in at least 2 or 3-24 ounce glasses of water in a work day. It's impossible to go wrong with water. I'm feeling MUCH better about myself. My daily weights have reflected the healthier eating. Yes, I know you're not supposed to weigh in daily but I keep a running total to see how I've done, foodwise during the week. I feel like I'm getting back to the right combination of food and exercise. I've been to two classes this week but they were both very vigorous classes. I went home last night feeling that I was well worked out. I didn't have goofing off time. It was wonderful!!

I went to the Black Belt class last night. I may start attending that on a regular basis on Thursdays. It was a good hard workout. My regular instructor taught and that was great. He worked with the First Dans and Cho Dan Bo's on Sip Soo. We also worked on the intermediate forms. I absolutely LOVE practicing the intermediate forms because we never practice them enough in class. I KNOW I can do better if I'm working on the forms on a regular basis. I'm also going to start working on the bong form on my own at home. That way I can at least get a basic grasp of it.

Irritated!!!

Well, it's back to an unhappy me again. WHY? Because I *gained* 3.4 pounds from my last official weigh in at Weight Watchers! I'm furious with myself. My husband says "you always lose weight, then gain it, then lose it, then gain again." and guess what? I listened to him! I gained! I don't know if it's subconscious or what, but I am seriously pissed about it! I HATE gaining weight! I want to get BELOW 200 pounds and that isn't happening very fast!! I don't know if it's a lack of water, too much food, not enough exercise or what, but I'm fed up with it!!

I went back to WW this morning and listened to an interesting meeting about stress and handling it. The leader gave us this saying:

Stay Focused
Take time for you
Relax
Exercise
Stay for the meeting
Stop, Rest, Assess
Eat Wisely
Delegate

As working women, moms, etc, we don't do enough of any of this. We need to remember this but when do we have time? We're running from point A to point B and don't have the time to stop and breathe!! It'll get better. Starting today, I'm back to journaling. I bought a brand new journal and started using it today. I have already documented what I'm eating. I have 25 points and I've used 23 so far. I have had a whole wheat English Muffin and a tablespoon of Sugar Free Strawberry preserves made by Polaner, so I'm set for breakfast. Maybe I need to add in a little bit of dairy here to make it more balanced. I'll have to play with it and see where my gains or losses are.

Gup test coming up

I'm so happy!! My kids are both testing on Friday for their next belts. *I* don't have to test, although I am required to be there. I've got to be there on Friday afternoon at 5:00-ish for the Little Ninja/Young Warrior test and I'm staying through to the Gup test. It'll make for a VERY long afternoon/evening but I don't mind! I'll get to see my children test!!
I held them out of the last testing cycle as neither of them was ready. I still have my doubts as to their readiness but I'm not going to hold them back. Our instructor says they're ready, so they're testing. Aidan's testing for a green belt and Amanda's testing for her orange/black.
Just need to get them to class all week. They're running through preparations for the test on Friday. Every class will be run as if they're in the actual test. This will be most fun! That also means our Little Ninjas and Young Warriors will also run the same way.

Oh joy...here we go again...

Bear with me...I'm ranting and raving here.

One of these days I'm going to learn NOT to sabotage myself! I actually saw 197 on Friday, then it gradually climbed back up again to 201 by today. I have no excuses, just my poor choices. I had *no problems* on Thursday maintaining, but Friday, when I cooked Thanksgiving for my immediate family, I took it as a license to pick. I picked and I picked. I KNOW better! My downfall? That turkey. I LOVE the skin! I ate the skin. I made excuses for it, saying "I won't gain THAT much!" Did I exercise? Oh no! I sat on the couch and watched football games. I didn't even drink my water!!
I weigh myself daily, just because it works for me to see the fluctuations in my weight. If I was smart (obviously I'm not since I don't practice what I'm preaching here...), I'd just go with the once a week weigh ins and keep it there. I even got hubby to agree to go to WW with me. Have I been in a month? NOPE. Too bloody lazy to get up in the morning.
That is going to change. My lifestyle has GOT to reflect healthy for my children. I have two kids who don't need to have to live with seeing their mother fighting with weight issues. THEY shouldn't have weight issues. That's part of why I enrolled them in martial arts.
Anyway...I'm not going to sabotage my loss efforts. I have a thought in my head that I picked up from somewhere..."Conscious eating". If I'm conscious of what I eat, when I eat and HOW I eat, I'll be successful. Going forward, I am going to make every effort to be conscious of my eating.

Enough lectures already!

Why do people insist on telling you what to think, how to believe, what to do? We get this from the time we're small--our parents set the foundation for our beliefs, but at some point, they stop telling us what to do. (that usually happens when we stop listening, about the same time as we become teenagers, start driving, have our first boy or girl friends, move out of the house, etc.)

I've gotten the same email multiple times in the past two weeks telling me NOT to go see a certain movie because it is based on a book that was written by someone who doesn't believe the way the other 95 % of the world believes. While I appreciate the warnings, what if I go to the movies to see it for what it is...entertainment? I don't go to the movies for religious, moral or political education. I go for the enjoyment factor. Now I'm getting emails telling me that to go to this movie is to put my eternal soul in danger. My father-in-law was the first to start sending this email to me and then everyone at work, it seems, did the same thing. If anything, because I'm stubborn and ornery, I'd go see it just because!!

Then there's the perpetual "you can't call this or that holiday by anything that would refer to a religious organization/entity." WHAT? If *I* want to celebrate Christmas or Yule, or Easter, Candlemass, St. Brigit's Day, can't I do that? The basic foundation of this country is *freedom*. Not YOUR idea of freedom, but the freedom of speech, of religion. If I don't agree with your religious views, fine. That's my right as a human being, as a citizen of this country. I don't tell anyone else how to live their lives. I don't lecture people on beliefs. I have a really good friend who knows that I'm not the exact same person she is. We don't vote the same way, but she doesn't force her views off on me and I don't force my views on her. We agree to disagree.

It's the same thing in one of the groups I belong to. There is enough diversity in this group that nobody is forced to agree on the same topics. We all agree that books are wonderful and that writing letters is cool. We don't all agree on politics but that's allowed. The owners of the group won't ban you because you don't agree with them. They're open minded. The greater majority of this group is from various parts of the world, but that doesn't stop us from talking to each other and sharing information.

Happy Dancing!!

Saturday's weight was 198. Sunday's weight was 198. This morning was 198. Three days! I'm so happy!! I've been jumping up and down with excitement about it. I've been able to fit into a "normal" pair of slacks (well, it's still considered 'plus' but it's closer to a "normal" size!) and that's making me very happy.

I know, you're not supposed to weigh every day, but I've been doing it because I wanted to get an idea of what my average weight is every week.

I'm going to go watch Heroes...hubby recorded it and I'm ready to see it.

Cub Scouts

Tonight is our den meeting. The theme this month is American Indians, so we're going to have to do something along those lines for the craft in the den. We're hosting the den meeting as well, so this will be most interesting. I can't be there as I have a CIT class, but I'm sure I'll see the fruits of their labors when I get home.
I had an inspiration when I got to work and was talking to a co-worker who is a former Boy Scout dad. As I was talking to him, it hit me, almost like the proverbial lightning bolt about how the project is supposed to work! Tony's been thinking about it since the last meeting and didn't have it. *I* have it!
I'm going to Home Depot at lunch and am getting a chunk of PVC pipe. I'll get it cut to 2 1/4" by 5/8" pieces. I'll also buy some chamois cloth at Target and that'll give us our leather. We can do it!! YAY!! What a shame I'm not going to be at the meeting tonight, huh? LOL!!

I hope they have fun making the project. I've got to research snacks that are Native American inspired. That's my next step.

Busy week looming

This should be a fun week! I've got to be at the dojang at 5:15 tonight (and I barely get to that side of town much before 5:00!) to assist with Little Ninjas/Young Warriors. Then we have the 6:00 Open class that my kids are in (and I'll be assisting in) and then MY class at 7:00. We'll be getting people up to speed on their forms, so it'll be well worth the time. We have a belt test on November 30th. I'm looking forward to that. I THINK I'm assisting at that test. Hopefully I'll get to hold a board for my kids when they go to break this time around. Then again, they may not want their *mom* to hold the board for them! LOL!

I'm actually looking forward to this evening. We'll see how it works because it'll be a trial for me for whenever he sets I get classes of my own. I'm not ready, by any means, to teach classes at present. I've only been in the CIT program for about 6-8 months now. I got there when I earned my blue belt. I just have to keep attending CIT classes and learning. I'm enjoying them, actually. I've learned a bit about teaching. There is something called PCP--Praise, Correct, Praise. You praise a student for trying something. If they're making a mistake, you correct them, t hen you praise them for doing it right. It's a good concept. My instructor has always done that--it's interesting to recognize something when you've learned about it.

Tuesday-all about challenges

I was right...the scales are absolutely evil to me! I need to seriously watch what I'm eating and if I'm going to snack, it needs to be 0 point foods. If I can just stick with that, I'll do alright.

I have CIT class tonight. There's a black belt class before the CIT class, so I think I may go ahead and use my time wisely by attending said class. I need to be working with the higher dans to make sure that I get my bong form (Bong Hyung Il Bu) done correctly. I also need to start practicing it because that's something I know will need to be done by the next black belt test. March 8th is going to be here before I know it. I'm actually not counting down the days until then because I'm not nervous anymore. I made so many mistakes during my actual test that I figure it's out of my system. I have to go in and practice in between classes now. I'm considering taking classes daily. Mr. M says that it's acceptable since I'm in the CIT program.

I was thinking about a blog I read recently. The writer was talking about practice. When, how, where. One of his blogs dealt with training outside. That would actually benefit many of us who have only trained indoors. It would get us away from the clock watching that we do. I hate to admit it, but there are days when I don't WANT to go to class, that I'd rather watch the clock than do the warm-ups and the actual exercises. I know that the warm-ups are to help me not hurt my body. I need to get past that "clock watch" mindset. That's something I think would be a beneficial goal to set. If I get out of watching the clocks, then I'll be able to have a more efficient training session.

Now, that being said, I need to find a good stretch for the I-T band. I aggravated my left leg years ago by attempting to run when I was 25-50 pounds heavier than I am now. It's acting up again, so I have to take it a little easy. I am going to do the work that is expected, but if I feel a twinge, I'm going to stop and modify the movement to compensate. I really hope that we're not going to do jumping jacks tonight in either class because (news flash!) I. Hate. Jumping Jacks! I really don't like them. (Saturday though, I did 100 of them and didn't stop once!!)

I may stay after CIT tonight and get DB to work on forms with me. I haven't done my forms since Saturday and before that, it was at least a month. I need to do my forms!! I miss them. I like the challenge of improving upon what I've already learned. That is something else I can set as a challenge to myself.

WHAT?!

Okay, how does managing your points (and going over, I might add!) over the weekend cause you to lose 4.5 pounds in two days???? I swear to god, I don't understand it!! It's so aggravating and I'm really NOT changing anything, other than watching portions and WHAT I eat! I don't get it! It's weird.

This morning's weight was enough to make me do a happy dance. I am not going to complain about it. I know I'm not supposed to weigh myself every day, but I can't seem to stay away from the scales daily. I know it's supposed to be a once a week weigh in. That's what WW is SUPPOSED to be for, but I'm embarrassed by my gains and then wind up not going. Tell me where the logic is there because I sure don't see it. I can't make excuses for myself. It's got to stop, this avoiding WW. They won't judge me based on my weight, no matter what I think. They're there to HELP. I will go back up on Saturday, weigh in, then head down to my house and get ready for martial arts.

Tonight is my normal class but I may miss it. I have a program at my daughter's school that I need to see. They're sending all the kids through a program on abstinence and I want to see what this is about. She sat through it in either the fifth or sixth grade and is about to get it again in the seventh. Really, I think it's an interesting idea. I guess I'll find out tonight what it's all about.

Another new start

I got good and disgusted with myself this past weekend. I'm still thinking about it and mentally whacking myself upside the head. I had a gain. Not just a "small" gain, but to me, a HUGE gain! I gained 6 pounds in a week and I was furious with myself for it! I decided to stop ignoring my journal and my exercise and get back on track. Yesterday I tracked points and did reasonably well. Today I tracked points, but when it came to eating, I don't think I made good enough choices. For example...5 whole wheat saltine crackers is 1 point. 10 is 3 points. I had 15 of them. 10 at one time, for lunch (with cheese, 3 points per slice, two slices) and then 5 for a snack, with cheese, another 4 points there. Dinner was 5 points out of the "WW Turnaround Program Cookbook". I had milk, which put me over because I didn't have a standard serving. I had 12 ounces instead of 8 ounces. I used 4 of my flex points for the week, so I'm down to 31 flex points. I would prefer NOT to use any of the flex points! I am not in enough control to prevent myself from routinely using those points. I would blow through them in a hurry if I wasn't in control. Therefore, my thought is to NOT use the flex points.

I'm also working on drinking more water. I haven't drunk nearly enough this weekend. I know that. I will work on that as a goal for the week. My goal is to drink 2-24 ounce glasses of water a day at work and at least 1 more at home after work. I also need to plan on snacking at work but measuring everything I eat so that I control that too.

By monitoring everything I ate yesterday, I saw a loss of 1.5 pounds, so some of it could have been just "normal" gains. I don't think I'll see a loss in the morning, but at least I know that I'm having to journal. I'll see what happens at the end of the week.

Happy Halloween!!!

Weigh in...

This whole past week was crazy. It started out with me having Jury Duty on Monday. To make matters (better?) worse, we had two people call in sick PLUS someone was on vacation at work, so I went in after the judge released us. I got there at 2:00 and took calls for 2 1/2 hours. My boss gave me comp time for it, so I'm happy. For the rest of the week, we were swamped with calls and a phone system that was acting up. Not good for us. It was crazy.

Weigh in was yesterday. I was back to 199.5. I had been down the week before to 198. I think it has to do with water. I drank 48 ounces of water on Friday. Friday morning I had been 202, so definitely it was water. Possibly eating too. I think I'm going to look at eating more often--maybe write the times I'm eating down too. That may help. I'm still looking at the guy at work who's lost so much--he says he eats multiple small meals a day. I am considering it. I'm going to think about it long and hard and make a decision today.

Abba, I wanted to thank you for the comments and the encouragement you've given me. I really appreciate it immensely!! I am so glad that you're there and you read my blog!!! :) Thank you!!

Another Sunday

I am having an absolutely wonderful day! I've had a good conversation with my daughter about school. Usually it's like pulling teeth to get her to talk to me about school! We're doing laundry together and I'm going to let her help me make dinner later. Maybe. She may not be interested in that. We shall see.

We went to a birthday party yesterday for my friend Jason's son. I was there to take pictures. Unfortunately, my stupid camera DIED as I was taking pictures. I think I've already grumbled about it so I won't rehash it now. I don't know if it's the SD card or what. I've been on Dell's website, drooling over the cameras. I may have to break down and get myself a new digital to ride with my old film camera. "Old". HA! It's only about 10 or so years old. It's been in the closet for a while. I'm going over to Wolf Camera to get a battery and some film. I feel the urge to take pictures again. I've got two short subjects who will be great fodder for the camera.

Not a lot is on our agenda for today. I'm doing the never-ending laundry pile and then cleaning the kitchen some. Tony cleaned a bit on Thursday and Friday, but there's more to do. For a small kitchen, it sure does get dirty/messy fast. My next step will be to HOPEFULLY de-clutter the bookshelves in the living room. If I find the books I need to clear out, I can get them to the used book store and get rid of some. I know Tony will be thrilled if I do. For that matter, I probably will be thrilled too. I love books and love the opportunity to read, but honestly, I have a LOT of books that I haven't touched in YEARS! If I haven't touched the books in that long, I'm not likely to pick them up and read them now, you know?

Tony took the kids out to get Halloween costumes last night. Aidan wanted to be a "devil" but there wasn't anything out there for him. Everything out there was Pirates of the Caribbean, Spiderman, Power Rangers (ew!) or similar. Tony finally talked him into Darth Vader.
They stopped by Target and got him a light saber that (oh joy!) makes the swooshing noises like the movie. It barely lights up. I had to take it away from him last night because all I heard was the swooshing. He wasn't doing his evening chores, so he wound up losing it. This morning, he did some chores and is back to playing with the mask. LOL!

Amanda was supposed to be a cat but...her dad took her someplace where they can't return the costume and they got her an outfit that is TOO SMALL! (This is my fault for not going with them!) Sooo, she has the cat ears, a tail and nothing else. I am going to look for a pair of black leggings for her and a black sweater. She can wear that and I'll paint her nose and face with "whiskers". I hope that'll work.
I'm not feeling the creativity right now. Suggestions are welcome...

I need to get around to visiting people. I haven't been online for a week and I've got to say HI! I didn't have time at work because we were just buried under a lot of things. I had projects to do and didn't find the extra time to surf the Internet at work. I've got to make up for it today!!

This and that....

It's another Saturday. I weighed myself this morning and was down to 198, so for this week, I actually LOST 4.2 pounds. I'll take it and won't fuss at all!
It's been a pretty rough couple of weeks. I have been getting email after email about my son at school and finally capitulated. I called our family doctor and talked to him about the munchkin. He has been diagnosed as having ADHD and we're trying him on Adderall. It's a rough blow because I didn't want to have to medicate my child. I was adamantly against medication. Hubby is still highly unhappy about it and hasn't forgiven me, the teacher and the school for it. It's hard to see your child medicated. I want to give this a try and see how long it takes to get him to settle down. What really tipped it was when the teacher emailed me and pretty much laid out that she was having difficulty teaching him and the rest of his class because he was so disruptive.
He started taking his medication on Thursday. There was no significant change, but we did notice that he now doesn't sleep as easily as he used to. For example, right now it's 9:30 and he's flipping and flopping and trying to get comfortable. Last night, it was after 11:00 before he went to sleep. His Martial Arts instructor told me today that he did see a change today. That's good. Once we get this built up in his system, we should see a positive outcome.
The one thing that made me less angry was that his teacher has repeatedly told me that she loves him and wants him to succeed. She reminded me that we don't know what a "normal" child is because every child is their own version of "normal". We shall see what the Adderall does for him.

Then we have my daughter, who tested for, and earned, first chair in band. She plays the flute and is doing pretty well. I need to nag at her tomorrow because she didn't play at all today. No computer for her until she practices!!

And to add insult to injury, today my stupid dishwasher bit the dust. It had been on its last legs and finally chose today of all days to croak. I'd turned it on before leaving for martial arts at 9:50. We were out until 11:30 and when we walked in, the apartment stank to high heaven of burning rubber. I think the motor finally gave up and died. We'll see what they're going to do. I reported it to day. Whether or not it is resolved remains to be seen, but...time will tell. In the meantime, I'm stuck washing dishes by hand. YUCK!!

Some days it doesn't pay to gnaw through the leather straps...

Well, I can't report myself as having a loss this week. I don't know what my problem is, but I've seen my ugly scales going up all week. In the past two weeks, I've gained back 4 pounds. That pisses me off. Plain and simple, there it is. My husband said that it's a trend with me...whenever I lose, I inevitably gain it back, then lose it again. I don't like that trend. I don't want it to be true. I've not been journaling (starting again tomorrow!), I'm not exercising to my fullest potential and I'm really getting irritated. I don't sit around the house and eat all day long on the weekends. I know this. I also know that I'm not out exercising for an hour and a half to two hours on Saturdays anymore. I was during the black belt testing period. I am sure that's part of it. Maybe I need to hit up the Saturday classes with my kids. We'll see.

There's a guy at work who is looking really good. He's eating five times a day and has lost a lot of weight. I guess maybe I need to look into that, but with low points foods. I know I need to eat more fruits and vegetables. Having an enchilada lunch is not the best way to lose. Yesterday, for example, I had a packet of 'lower sugar maple/brown sugar oatmeal' for breakfast, two cups of coffee, a sugar free jello pudding cup, enchiladas, another sf jello pudding cup. At home, I snagged a piece of turkey sausage (literally a small piece, not a serving) and about a 1/4 cup of macaroni. Nothing on the macaroni. No butter. No cheese. Just plain macaroni. I drank 32 ounces of water when I got home from martial arts (I assisted with a class) and I had 24 ounces at work. Not the best day for water. Please remind me that water is essential!! I know I'm not drinking enough, but that's not what caused the four pound gain in two weeks.
I just need to wrap my head around losing weight and get back on track. If I don't, my new slacks won't keep fitting!!

Bad news/Good news

Well, this hasn't been the best of weeks. I gained 2 pounds. In some ways, I wonder if it was just because I saw that loss and mentally said "I lost, therefore I can do whatever and not gain." Guess what? I saw a gain! My hubby also pointed out that whenever I have a loss, I'll have a gain the next week. I want to break that cycle. It's not a healthy cycle and I know it!! I WILL overcome it!!

I do have a piece of good news though! I went to Kohl's under the auspices of paying the bill last night and wandered through the women's department. I found a pair of size 16 dress slacks and tried them on. Guess what? They fit!!! I AM thrilled about that! I feel like something good is happening and that's what I need to see and use as motivation to keep working hard at this weight loss. I know that I didn't put the weight on overnight, I won't lose it overnight and it is a commitment. I'm re-committing myself to losing it. I will do it!

Seriously HAPPY Saturday

I am just overjoyed to announce that I went back to WW this morning after taking off the past month to focus on my belt test preparation. My last registered weight with them was 204, I think. Today, my weight was 199. Yes, JUST 199!! I broke the 200 lb barrier!!! I was so hyped up, I ran out of the bathroom this morning, jumped on the bed and woke Tony up. My home scales matched the WW scales, so I'm just glowing with pleasure!!

I spent today with my kids, except for when they went to karate. I stayed home so that I could have a little bit of quiet time. When they got home, they had lunch, then Amanda did her homework. I organized my files for my new job--I'm the secretary for our Cub Scout pack. I had to get a couple of file folders, so Aidan and I went to Staples and as long as we were there, we got his new kerchief, slide and hat for Cubs. He's a Wolf this year and do NOT mention Tiger to him or he'll tell you that "it's only for FIRST GRADERS! I am NOT a first grader!!!" LOL! I had taken him with me so that his sister could do her homework without him bugging her. He was great at helping me do my shopping. I rewarded him by taking him over to Petco to visit the critters. We had to see the iguanas, then the snakes (Hmmm. "Snakes. Why does it always have to be...snakes?!" Anyone remember that movie??) After the snakes, we visited the fish and turtles, then the birds, rodents and finally, the cats up for adoption. They were really neat. There was one really pretty white cat named "Puffy". He was determined to sleep instead of socializing but that's okay. it was a lot of fun. The little guy enjoyed it.
When we got home, it was his sister's turn. I took her out to get a hair cut and he took his dad out to go swimming. LOL!! They came in shortly after we got home. She's since gone over to a friend's house to sleep over, he's sitting on the couch and reading a magazine. Oh, and watching Tak and the Power of JuJu on Nickelodeon. The things they come up with for kids shows!!

ACK! Hubby's now turned on Sponge Bob Square Pants. Okay, just for that, I'm going to leave you with the corniest joke in creation...

Q: What happens when Sponge Bob sees a full moon?
A: He turns into a Squarewolf.

See ya!!

Black Belt Test recap

It's over! I am officially a black belt! I am very pleased with myself! The positive self talk worked!!! I told myself that I didn't want to mess up on forms, so the technique part was what I mangled, but it's all good!

The test was like this...Master St. James and Mr. McGee got to the dojang at 5:58. At 6:00 (ish!) they entered the training room. We were all in line, standing at ease, being very quiet. Mr. Berger told us to come to attention, then we bowed to Master St. James and thanked him. We bowed in, said our student creed and then took a moment of silence. Mr. M told us that this was OUR test and that we were going to get started. The black belts lined up in the front row first, so they went to the back of the class. After that, we got busy and started into our techniques. About an hour into it, we did 100 jumping jacks. I didn't stop once this time, which makes me super proud of myself.

We did a lot of technique and then we went right into forms. After the Cho Dan Bo's did their forms, we got to sit down while the black belts did their higher forms. After that, he sent us out to get our sparring gear. We had a few minutes to get it and then we had to race back in. It was a madhouse but we managed. We raced back in and sat down while the black belts did their form. Then we got up and got into sparring formation. We had to do our one steps. He had all of us do our one steps at the same time. That went pretty well. We also had to do our Ho Sin Sul (self defense) and that was a bit of a difficult thing. My partner was in pain. She had hurt her back a few days ago and it was still hurting her. I had to fall for her (should have jumped but didn't). I didn't mind. I did all the Ho Sin Sul falling while she did the technique. I don't mind because I could demonstrate my GREAT falling ability.
We did leg techniques, then we sparred. After the sparring, we got to break boards.
The board breaking is a really COOL thing. We had to write our breaks on an index card and give it to Mr. M when we pre-tested. I did a front snap kick, elbow break, side kick, ridge hand (from above the board, straight down, hitting with the outside of my hand) and an axe kick. I broke almost all of my boards on the first try. The side kick tried to kick me back--I nearly fell when I broke the board but I did it!! I remembered to keop loudly when I broke too. That helped. I felt really good doing it. :)

The last thing was for us to line up again. We listened to Master St. James tell us about spirit. He said that we showed incredible spirit. That was really cool!
After he said his piece, we had a moment of silence, then bowed out--first to Master St. James, then Mr. McGee and the other visiting black belt. Then we bowed to our third and second dans and our first dans. After that, we all turned and bowed to our parents and friends, then left.

I stayed around and got Mr. M to sign my board, then his son (gotta have them both!), and of course my friend Susan! I'm going to keep that board where I can look at it as an inspiration.

Today I have the kama seminar with Master St. James and then afterwards he's teaching the instructors a bong form or two.

Sunday is the banquet to celebrate our belting and get them. Then it's back to work and back to some semblance of normalcy.

Black Belt Test

Just to let you know, I passed my black belt test tonight! I do believe I'd already passed it when I pre-tested and that this was just a showing of our progress. I managed to break 5 boards and didn't have to get a smaller board! I had problems with my side kick but...I DID break the board! I am pretty pleased with myself right now!!!

I have a kama/bong seminar with Master St. James tomorrow but it'll be pretty cool! Sunday's the banquet where I'll get my official black belt. I'll post more tomorrow afternoon when I get home.

Thank you for believing in me and standing behind me, supporting me!!

(((HUGS)))

Meg

1 day!

There is only one day left before the day of the black belt test. I think I'm ready. I know I'll make mistakes but if I cover, maybe nobody will notice. LOL!!
I'm excited. It's been a long time in coming but I've been working hard and that is paying off. I was paid a compliment on Monday. I was told that my technique was good. I am happy to hear that. I need to make sure it stays good!!
We have a dress rehearsal tonight for the belt test. Once that's over, then it's home and time to relax. I've taken the day off tomorrow so hopefully I'll be able to be mellow and not stress out. I'm going to make sure that I'm focused by not hyper focused on the test. It'll be a lot of fun.

We have a banquet on the 23rd to celebrate the belting. It'll be a lot of fun but I haven't got a CLUE how what to wear!! It's required for the women to wear dresses. Hmmm. Now I've got to decide what to wear in a hurry.

This is just peachy...

The Black Belt test is in ***4*** days and I'm now suffering from an obnoxiously massive sinus/allergy thing! I had a sore throat last week for a couple of days and by Friday night, it had hit me in the sinuses. My one friend in South Carolina says I sound like I have my head in a bucket. LOL! I kind of feel that way!

We had a pretty good turn out for the Back to School Bash. Mr. Brooks was the high point of the day--everyone wanted to see him jump his car. He did a GREAT job of it too. I think he's going to be testing on Friday night too. I'm not sure. I know Mr. Todd can't test because he broke his toe. OUCH!!!

My co-workers are trying to convince me to take off half a day on Thursday. I'm now thinking about it. It may do me some good to take off, if for no other reason than I'm wired already and the test isn't until FRIDAY. I may talk to Mr. M tonight and see what HE thinks. Tony too.

Oh blank! I just got "attacked" by a cricket--it jumped over the wall at me and hit my arm. Naturally, I screamed! I'm sorry if it disrupted the class, but bugs are NOT my strong suit!! BRRR!! I can't stand bugs!!

From the Back to School Bash